GLEEK OUT WITH YOUR FREAK OUT
Hush now, child. Shhh. I know. Your poor little head still throbs with secret regrets and the ghosts of hot vodka-flavored railroad spikes. Your pee is the color of an Arizona sunset. You're still not entirely sure you didn't accidentally get gay married. Or regular married! (Or gangbanged, frankly!) And you JUST. DON'T. WANT. TO FUCKING. THINK ABOUT IT. Right? Fabulous! Everything is normal. It's a classic condition/venerable tradition. And you're quite right: You should just stay home, drink filtered water by the lakeful, and reevaluate your priorities. But! The night! It calls! It will not be ignored! It's time to get back on the pony. And don't worry: We're going to ease back into it, beginning with a relaxing, non-big-club-eventy, and relatively less alcoholic (if you can manage to control yourself, ahem) evening at Central Cinema, my favorite place in the world, because, well, pigs in a blanket! PIGS IN A BLANKET! Tonight features a magical event: the Gleek Sing-Along, your opportunity to express your ridiculous love for everything Glee, freely, in the safe embrace of your fellow Gleeksters. It's a montage/mashup of Glee's signature musical moments, and you're expected to break out your fiercest sing-along moves. Subtitles help you along (like you need them). And did I mention pigs in a blanket?! Well. PIGS IN A BLANKET! Central Cinema, 8 pm, $9 adv/$11 DOS, all ages.
TWELVE MONTHS OF QUEER
There are no pigs in blankets, unfortunately, but what A Queer for All Seasons DOES have is a powerful battery of queer cabaret stars and dedicated dragsters doing a homo-drenched, 12-month musical calendar revue for you! Featuring Luminous Pariah, Tamara the Trapeze Lady, Ginger Snapz, and a dozen more names you should know and love. If you're into that sort of nonsense. Which you are. (Don't be frontin'—I can see your SOUL.) Theatre Off Jackson, 8 pm, $12 adv/$15 DOS, 18+.