UNHOLY SNACKING

Almost six months ago, it left us. It was dreadful. (I cried!) But the greasy, deep-fried buttlovin' of Snackhole returns to all our lives tonight (joy!), and the rebooted (reheeled?) event is replete with all the artery-murdering mania, corn dogs, draggy cabaret insanity, and perverted joie de vivre that made Snackhole endeared to our cholesterol-crippled hearts in the first damn place. Starring nighttime luminaries: Stella Rose! Jackie Hell! Others! And, most especially, that breathtaking shebeast that is fast becoming Seattle's most beloved draggy star—the incomparable Jinx Monsoon! Comet Tavern, 9 pm, $7, $21+.

LEZ STYLE BROS

Today is the NONEOFYOURDAMN- BUSINESS! anniversary of my very first boyfriend ever. Ahhh! Young gay love! It was a physical and psychological disaster. Come help me remember to forget tonight at Lezbro—DJs LA Kendall and Tony Burns's signature big gay dancey-sweaty-sexy event. This freshest installment features Fannie Mae Darling from Portland: possibly the world's only formerly Amish tranny draggy star! (Can she build the fierce energy? Can she raise a big gay barn? WE'LL SEE!) And on a possibly unrelated note: Can we PLEASE use the word "lezbro" to replace all other words and/or epithets for we wee 'mos? We'll all just be "lezbro"—across the board. Deal? (P.S.: Fuck you, first boyfriend ever! Jackass.) Wildrose, 9 pm, $3, $21+.

VIOLET, DORALEE, JUDY... LA LA LA!

It's flippin' CRAZY how old 9 to 5 keeps popping up to haunt my life. I just saw the old movie LIVE last month at Central Cinema... and it's happening again—onstage this time! With live characters! And bona fide musical-ness! It's the straight-from-Broadway tour. I'll say no more. 5th Ave Theatre, 8 pm, $38–$108, all ages.