FRI–SUN 7/1–3

FREEDOM FANTASIA

Frazzled. That's what the fuck I am. You feel the same way, I'm sure. And how could we not? After all of this damn Pride nonsense had us running around like a bunch of funky chickens with our peckers out. Now, I understand that we are an oppressed and fabulous people and all, but a whole month! Culminating in a flippin' parade! It can wax a bit much, even for the dyed-in-the-woolest, most hardcorest party pony. I confess that sometimes I think that—just once!—it would be lovely if Pride were merely a relaxing afternoon cocktail party/wet-underwear contest, culminating in a back rub (on the front!), and that's that. Think of the mass reduction in hangovers! (And the overall increase of front back rubs!)

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But no. That's a terrible idea. Like I said. Oppressed. Fabulous! No rest for us. And there is plenty of post-Pride-y stuff going on to satisfy the 'mo on the compulsive go. For example: Britney fucking Spears. She's got a little happening way down at the Tacoma Dome (Wed June 29, 7 pm, $58–$2,910, all ages), so if you're into (a) driving, (b) being crushed to death by screaming herds of slutty 13-year-old girls, and (c) puking, there you go. Bacon Strip rides again at Re-bar (Sat July 2, 10 pm, $15, 21+), but I always (but ALWAYS) mention Bacon Strip (I do love it ever-so!), so it's pretty much a given. Eighteen Individual Eyes—Seattle's Only Lesbian Band™—are playing at the Comet (Wed July 6, $6), and that's always fun for the whole family (as long as the whole family is 21+ and gay as carpet slippers). And Central Cinema is showing Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (Thurs June 30, 8 pm, $9 adv/$11 DOS, all ages), and there is beer, so yay.

BUT! Let's try to focus, because what we're talking about is FREEDOM FANTASIA, "a liberty-encrusted, justice-soaked, apple-pie-scented pageant of patriotism." It is the first of what will be an annual Fourth of July thing, featuring the starry, spangley talents of Ben DeLaCreme and Kitten LaRue and Cherdonna and Lou and Jinkx Monsoon—all set to "celebrate and lampoon" the highs and lows of this weird little country. It's all you should focus on this week, really, and if you miss it, you clearly hate America. Traitor. Odd Fellows Hall, 9 pm, $20 adv/$25 DOS, 18+.