It has been said, "In all labor there is profit—but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury" (Proverbs 14:23). In other words, put up or shut up, little worshipers. Whether you're still suckling off mommy and daddy's money-crusted teats or packing meat patties for a living, college is the best time to feel the divine power of DIY—which is code for "quit your whinin' and do it your damn self." While the Devil (AKA the Corporate Entertainment Industry) prefers the warmer, Botox-friendly climates down South, the pop-culture savvy of all stripes are making shit happen here in Seattle. It would be a grave sin to ignore all the valuable resources we have here to help you learn just how to do it yourself if God (or your selected college) does not otherwise impart this crucial knowledge.

PUBLISHING

RICHARD HUGO HOUSE (1634 11th Ave, www.hugohouse.org) is home to Seattle's Zine Archive and Publishing Project (ZAPP), which collects and promotes all kinds of unusual, self-published writing, from chapbooks to art zines to comics and journals. They often hold zine-related events, as does CONFOUNDED BOOKS (315 E Pine St), a popular indie-comic/zine/alternative-publishing retail outlet that hosts regular readings. (Hugo House also held a DIY Academy this past summer, with low-cost classes on everything from screen-printing to show promotion.)

MUSIC

Many of you have been making Satan sounds since high school, but there are ways to improve your skills and play more heavenly music. Both the VERA PROJECT (1916 Fourth Ave, www.theveraproject.org) and the NW FILM FORUM (1515 12th Ave, www.nwfilmforum.org) host rock schools at various times throughout the year (more often at Vera), and Vera also holds conferences on everything from how to put together a bio to booking shows and touring advice. PERFORMER MAGAZINE is a great, free publication found mostly at indie record stores (or online at www.performermag.com). The West Coast edition, published out of San Francisco, offers interviews and articles on recording, performing, and entertainment lawyers, and band news and reviews broken down by state. And while SEATTLE DIY (www.seattlediy.com) is currently undergoing construction, the site generally offers good info on things like house shows and other word-of-mouth community events.

TELEVISION

From hiphop to punk rock to men in monster masks making prank calls, you never know what you're going to get on Seattle's public-access station, SCAN-TV (www.scantv.org). Take those communication skills to the next level and preach to a new choir of cable fans. You could be the next televangelist or MTV VJ.

FILM

October 7–9 marks the next annual installment of the FUCKING FABULOUS FILM FESTIVAL (www.fuckingfabulous.org), Seattle's international DIY collection of shorts, animated debauchery, and full-length features, usually held at some unholy venue within walking distance of a bar full of people who need saving.

FASHION

Plenty of schools teach you how to make special habits for the clergy, but in case you'd like to brush up on your pattern-following skills, retail outlets like STITCHES (711 E Pike St, www.stitchesseattle.com) and NORTHWEST SEWING (10722 Fifth Ave NE, www.northwestsewing.com) offer classes to keep you industrious. Remember always, "Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap," (Galatians 6:7), and even Satan dislikes raggedy hemlines.