Last weekend was the absolute final straw... I went to a couple of events advertised as "estate sales." Let me define for you "estate sale." When one of your loved ones buys the farm and you are forced to sell all their possessions, down to the last roll of toilet paper, to various strangers who refuse to pay high prices for furniture and vintage coats, you are having an "estate sale." When you're just trying to get rid of a pile of unwanted crapola, you are having a "yard sale," and should advertise it as such. So, at your yard sale (the third consecutive example of a gross misrepresentation of the term "estate sale" that afternoon alone), I used your bathroom and took the liberty of tucking your toothbrushes into my asshole while walking briskly in place and pissing in your bathtub. In addition, I stole that lame Beanie Baby you were asking 25 bucks for and sold it on eBay. Mwah ha ha!

--Anonymous