FRONT OF BOOK Letters: Didn't read.... Last Days: Sadly, unavailable at deadline.... NEWS Josh Feit's news lead is perhaps the dullest piece of writing The Stranger has ever featured (and remember: This is a paper that routinely features writing by Sean Nelson [see below], Charles Mudede, Emily Hall, and Bradley Steinbacher--inept windbags one and all).... FEATURE A long, blubber-infested piece on coffeehouses (of all things) by Sean Nelson. With both this article and Josh Feit's aforementioned news lead (see above) in the same pages, one has to wonder whether this week's issue of The Stranger was sponsored by Sominex, or some other sleep-aid producer.... FILM See Feature and/or News.... BOOKS Didn't read.... ART Didn't read.... THEATER Didn't read.... FOOD Min Liao finally returns to consuming meat; Stranger readers undoubtedly yawn.... MUSIC A rather ramshackle section this week/skimmed.... ETC. It's My Party: Didn't read.... Celeb I Saw U: Too gay.... I Love TV: Didn't read.... Control Tower: Skimmed (why does this column exist?).... Savage Love: Proof of Dan Savage's spectacular arrogance--this week he offers advice to our commander in chief and expects to be both heeded and taken seriously.... Obits: Didn't read.