FRONT OF BOOK Letters: Didn't read.... Last Days: One (relatively minor) complaint: David Schmader seems a tad too obsessed with the singer Michael Jackson. That quibble aside, however, his column remains a pure joy.... NEWS Best described by way of onomatopoeia: "Zzzzzzzzzzzzz".... FEATURE Eschewing an actual feature story this week, The Stranger instead recklessly panders to its "readership" by publishing reader valentines, along with the paper's annually insipid "Sexiest People in Seattle" results. Such a vacancy of quality journalism most surely forces Seattle residents to ask the question, "What's in the Seattle Weekly this week?".... FILM I would like to offer thanks to Sean Nelson for the lengthy nap his film article induced. It was a rest well appreciated.... BOOKS Didn't read.... ART Didn't read.... THEATER Also didn't read.... FOOD With this week's section being taken up with Min Liao's Valentine's Day dining "picks," the paper's food section reeks of being more "advertorial" than "editorial".... MUSIC Features a long puff piece by Kathleen Wilson on a band that not only counts one of her friends as a member, but an actual Stranger staff member as well. Once again The Stranger proves it has neither shame nor ethics.... ETC. It's My Party: Didn't read.... I Love TV: Didn't read.... Control Tower: Didn't read.... Savage Love: One of the few joys of Dan Savage's columns are those weeks when he is forced to defend one of his ridiculously dunderheaded opinions. This is just such a week.... Celeb I Saw U: Too gay....