May 22, 2003 · VOL. 12, NO. 36

FRONT OF BOOK Letters: A full page, including a pair of petty retorts from editor Dan Savage directed at a pair of poor saps who dared to criticise.... Last Days: Greatness in ink.... NEWS With the exception of the writings of Sandeep Kaushik and Erica C. Barnett: Zzzzzzzzzzz.... SHORT FEATURE: Didn't read.... FEATURE A massive "special" section devoted to the Seattle International Film Festival that is notable only in that it marks Sean Nelson's last outing as "Film Editor" for The Stranger. Cinema fans should not rejoice Mr. Nelson's departure, however, for his replacement is to be none other than Mr. Nelson's dunderhead in arms, Bradley Steinbacher.... THEATER An article on the merits of modern dance. Somehow, the author manages more than 700 words on the subject.... BOOKS Didn't read.... ART A handful of short reviews, not even a handful of interest in reading.... FOOD Taking a page from The Stranger's news department, Min Liao reports on the closing of a local restaurant. Taking another page from that same section, she manages to bore readers to tears.... MUSIC Didn't read.... FILM Resorting to feel-good, Bill Cosby-ish ploys to fill out the section, Sean Nelson interviews a four-year-old boy about a film. Sadly, his intellect appears to have been outmatched.... ETC. It's My Party: Didn't read.... Live Wire: Also didn't read.... I Love TV: I must admit, despite its excessively filthy content this week, Mr. Humphrey's column managed to produce a chuckle from me. Perhaps I am being corrupted and/or irreparably harmed by my weekly reading of The Stranger?... Control Tower: Didn't read.... Savage Love: Dan Savage clarifies what is/is not rape. The world breathes a sigh of relief now that the debate has finally been settled.... Celebrity I Saw U: Too gay....