NEWS As part of his continuing coverage of people who actually know how to make a living, intern JONAH SPANGENTHAL-LEE moves from the saga of the teenage prostitute to the tale of the man who bought a fancy condo but is unhappy with its finishings. "Just the complaints of an unsatisfied yuppie?" Mr. Spangenthal-Lee asks in this story. His answer: "Maybe." Riveting. I await next week's exposé on the ramblings of a highly satisfied yuppie. Oh, wait, here they are now, penned by BRENDAN KILEY, who this week leaps out of the theater section (wearing tights, as usual) to accuse the good men of the Seattle Police Department of racism. And speaking of gay leaps (and leaps for gays): JOSH FEIT reports on big progress for the state's domestic partnership bill. PLUS: In the Hall, In Other News, and Police Beat.

SHORT FEATURE iHauntedJust when I thought the rehab-refusing clowns who edit this sacrilege couldn't stoop any lower, if only for the simple fact that they're already lying facedown in the gutter, they offer this: A piece by JACK WILSON about how his girlfriend's roommate recently murdered someone on a Seattle campus, and then killed himself, but not before leaving Mr. Wilson some new music on something called an iPod. The award for best product placement in a tragedy goes to The Stranger.

FEATURE MisledAs an antidote to the insomnia-producing rage one feels after reading through the above, I recommend JOSH FEIT's appraisal of Frank Chopp. I did manage to make it through a record 12 paragraphs of Mr. Feit's wonkery this time, but then came his mention of SEIU Local 775, the chemical fertilizer industry, and something called JLARC and—wham!—my eyes shut and I awoke, hours later, my mind cleansed of all sense of why I had been reading this rag in the first place. For this, Mr. Feit, I thank you.