NEWS: For another week, The Stranger news team maintains its miraculous stasis. Tireless wonkstress ERICA C. BARNETT plays referee between battling viaduct theories; compunction-free rabble-rouser THOMAS FRANCIS rants about an allegedly iffy Seattle Housing Authority contract; and ELI SANDERS—having already charted every nook and cranny of the woman herself—turns his gushing attention to state senate hopeful Darcy Burner's growing army of volunteers. Dear God: Let my organs fail now. PLUS: CounterIntel, In Other News, and In Other Neighborhoods

SHORT FEATURE: Hanging in the Balance. BRENDAN KILEY charts the saga of the rock-stacking transient recently evicted from his favored street corner in Seattle's Fremont neighborhood. No, really.

PULLOUT: SIFF Notes 2006. Once again, The Stranger squanders a stunning amount of ink on the Seattle International Film Festival, a radical far-left endeavor if ever there was one. What's wrong with films from the United States of America? Even the lowliest gem from Tinseltown trumps the most acclaimed snippet of grime crawling out of Krapistanistan. Fortunately, SIFF isn't entirely about foreign films. For example, there's Strangers with Candy, the inspiring documentary about a former crack addict and prostitute who fights to turn her life around, eventually enrolling in high school. It's a film that has something to teach us all, but at SIFF, it's practically buried beneath an avalanche of subtitled sob stories from God knows where. Here's an idea for foreign films: learn English. If I were interested in reading, I wouldn't be going to the movies, and I sure as hell wouldn't work for The Stranger.