NEWS This week, JOSH FEIT shrieks about a supposed plot to destroy the internet (how will The Stranger news squad fuel its porn obsession without it?), ERICA C. BARNETT reports on paint drying (or at least its political equivalent) at city hall, and THOMAS FRANCIS decries a short shrifting delivered to a progressive crime program ("progressive" no doubt meaning heavy on cuddling and naptimes). PLUS: In Other News, In the Hall, Police Beat, and In Other Neighborhoods—in other words, all the usual quackery.

FEATURE Betting on the Blogs

For some reason, The Stranger has deemed a convention filled with whining liberal bed wetters—AKA "bloggers"—worthy of both travel and real estate. The travel: airfare (roundtrip, sadly) to Las Vegas for ELI SANDERS. The real estate: over two pages of wretched tripe devoted to a whine-infused convention that, if the liberals of today had any sort of scrotal presence, would have erupted into Chicago '68 mayhem. Are there no billy clubs left in the world?