NEWS:

The first rule of journalism is "Know your audience." Having identified their audience as hung-over derelicts willing to parrot whatever horse hockey they espouse, The Stranger news team provides a cheat sheet of suggested questions for next week's 43rd Legislative District debate at Town Hall. Here's a suggested question: Why the hell should anyone listen to The Stranger news team? ALSO: THOMAS FRANCIS reports on Queen Anne's DIY BMX course. PLUS: Police Beat, In Other News, CounterIntel

SHORT FEATURE: Street People

BRENDAN KILEY, The Stranger's allegedly heterosexual theater editor, attempts to amp up his masculinity by "roughing it" with the ballsy street performers who recently hijacked Seattle's First Thursday art walk. Kiley's report is a good, strong piece of work (what's it doing in The Stranger?), but his machismo-boosting maneuvers in "butch" theater writing remain as effective and successful as a ball gown made of burlap. Mr. Kiley: What you do with your nether regions is of no consequence. So long as you're theater editor for The Stranger, you're a rooty-tooty, fresh-and-fruity homosexual.

FEATURE: Uneasy Living

Confirming that kissing the ass of U.S. Congressional candidate Darcy Burner isn't a full-time job, ELI SANDERS reports on a recent controversy at a Capitol Hill apartment building.