Ah, fall is coming. Leaves are turning, clouds are looming, and a gaggle of mouth-breathing would-be intellects—née The Stranger Election Control Board—have coughed up another round of primary-election endorsements. Who has received the honor? Who cares? If you're an actual voter—as in, smart enough to fill in a circle—you're more qualified to pick a candidate than this bunch of recidivist pot addicts. ALSO: A story about the supposed detriments of circumcision. Next week: Removal of the umbilical cord, pro and con. PLUS: In the Hall, CounterIntel, and Police Beat.

SHORT FEATURE: An Ounce of Prevention
In this week's feature, DAN SAVAGE abuses marijuana and fondles a gun. Sadly, I'm not making this up. In a lame grab for notoriety, Mr. Savage, he of the critically inflated ego, attempts to... well, I'm not precisely sure what he's attempting. Protest? Attention grabbing? It must be the latter, since his gambit of going to city hall whilst under the influence and carrying a firearm, in order to make a point about nightclub regulations, makes absolutely no sense otherwise.

PULLOUT: The Stranger vs. Bumbershoot
If you've enjoyed The Stranger's coverage of Bumbershoot in the past—and if so, your name is Carl, and yes, Carl, you are the only one—then you will likely enjoy this year's as well. Thinking festivalgoers, however, will surely go elsewhere.