It's TRUE! Sub Pop, Seattle's grungiest record label, is moving out of their glittering downtown offices. While speculation is high as to where the label's next roost will be, at least one former employee has opined that "The House That Grunge Built" will be moving into "a little grass shack" at an unspecified location.

What does this mean for you, the lucky music-loving public? Sub Pop will have to divest their enormous stock of "white elephants" (otherwise known as the slower-selling records) that, though they were originally thought to be "good ideas," turned out to be thudding, embarrassing mistakes. However! Sub Pop's trove of faux pas could be your recycled treasure... so, go on! Call them! Make an offer! These days they're in no position to turn anything down!

And to help you in your shopping decisions, we've taken the liberty of dividing Sub Pop's lesser lot into four handy categories -- feel free to pick and choose from each! Twelve wrongs don't make a right, but two or three thrown on a mixed tape make for an excellent stocking stuffer!

Well, the Boss Seemed to Like It!

BLOOD CIRCUS Primal Rock Therapy (Reissue LP)

Reissued at the same time Nevermind was sweeping the nation, Sub Pop figured they could wring some more money out of the Nirvana thingy. They couldn't.

THORNETTA DAVIS Sunday Morning Music; Shout Out to the Dusthuffer

Every once in a while the boss gets wind of "the next big thing." In this case, it was a 40-something African American woman singing it dark and sultry to a record-buying public who ultimately wasn't listening, and wasn't buying.

Those Crazy Canadians!


Teenage pop punks who wore their guitars crazy low, bent way over to sing, and... yep. That's about it.

ZUMPANO Look What the Rookie Did; Goin' Through Changes

Featuring a red-headed, lisping, bad-sweater-wearing singer with a burning love for Hal David and Burt Bacharach, backed by the worst-looking band ever. Not exactly a recipe for success.

HARDSHIP POST Somebody Spoke

The Halifax trio who never learned the rule about talking politics when everyone else just wants to party.

Waitasecond! These Bands are Really Good!

PIGEONHED Theme From Pigeonhed; Pigeonhed; The Full Sentence; Flash Bulb Emergency Overflow Cavalcade of Remixes

Unpredictable mish-mash of funky beats, techno, sound effects, and romance. Oh, and lest I forget... brilliant.

THE GRIFTERS Ain't My Lookout; Full Blown Possession

Beautifully bizarre barbecue-flavored pop brimming with sex, from another band boasting not one good-looking member. Luckily, it's also brilliant.

Waitasecond! These Bands are Really Bad!

THE BLUE RAGS Rag and Roll Party

A flabbergasting blend of bluegrass, country, honky tonk, and hippies. In other words, just like every other mid-'90s Alternative Country act.


See Blue Rags.


See Blue Rags.

SCUD MOUNTAIN BOYS Massachusetts; The Early Year

See Blue Rags.

ERIC MATTHEWS It's Heavy in Here; The Lateness of the Hour

Though this Neanderthal is credited with reviving "orch-pop," Matthews is living proof that not all artists should be allowed to speak to the press. Common career-killing oratories included: Why Women Should Not Join the Workforce, Why Women Were Put On This Earth to Serve Their Husbands, and Why God Made Eric Matthews So Brilliant.


Just because Everett True arguably put Sub Pop on the map doesn't mean he should be allowed to record for them.

EARTH Bureaucratic Desire for Revenge; Earth; Phase Three: Thrones And Dominions; Pentastar: In the Style of Demons

Earth's Dylan Carlson is perhaps most famous for handing drug buddy Kurt Cobain that fateful shotgun. We're guessing Kurt could have gotten the job done with much less mess if Carlson had just played the poor guy his omnibus from start to finish.