OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS
See Stranger Suggests. Topnotch sketch comedians the Habit return with a "greatest hits" assemblage. The Bathhouse Theatre, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 325-6500. $10. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sat at 11 pm. Through April 20.
Opening. Frenchy Jean Anouilh's modernization of the Greek myth. Theatre Company #3 at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. $10-$12 (pay-what-you-will on Thurs April 4, and an added performance on Mon April 15). Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through April 27.
Wonky dancer gets in a tizzy over snooty poseur. ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $10-$22. Wed-Thurs at 7:30 pm (no show Wed March 27), Fri-Sat at 8 pm, selected Sat-Sun at 3 pm (call for details). Through April 13.
CHOOZE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: OUTER SPACE AND BEYOND
The second theatrical variation on the kids' books, where you get to decide where the plot goes. "Funny bits crop up throughout the show... but 90 minutes feels like two hours." (Bret Fetzer) Re-bar, 1114 Howell St (at Boren), 444-4315. $10. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through April 13.
Female burglar helps wronged wife take revenge on her jerky husband. Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki Ave SW, 935-8420. $29 plus tax with meal, $15 show only (limited availability). Fri-Sun at 7:30 pm (dinner at 6:30 pm). Through April 20.
* DON JUAN
A idea-driven version of history's most notorious horndog. "[This play is] a genuinely intriguing curiosity, as perverse and willful as its hero, and since it may not be performed again, you may want to take a chance with its philosophical pleasures." (Bret Fetzer) Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, 443-2222. $15-$44 ($10 for anyone under 25). Tues-Sun at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. Through April 13.
Solo show about an unemployed actor taking reservations for an ultra-chic restaurant. "Though there are some laughs (thanks to actor R. Hamilton Wright), the script is bland and mechanical--the theatrical equivalent of a bag of potato chips." (Bret Fetzer) ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $24.50-$29.50. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Open run.
IF I DIE IN A COMBAT ZONE
A bunch of the boys in this testosterone-driven Vietnam War show are total hotties. Book-It at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 325-6500. $19 (senior/student/group discounts). Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through April 28.
INTO THE WEST
Two kids and a horse. What more do you need? Seattle Children's Theatre, 201 Thomas St at Seattle Center, 441-3322. Adults $21.50-$22.50, senior/student/child $14.50-$15.50. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 & 5:30 pm. Through April 28.
IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME
Opening. A new musical about, you know, love and stuff. An Audience Favorite at the last Fringe Festival. Umbrella Arts at Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 281-4285. $15. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 6 pm. Through April 28.
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
Reviewed this week. About a guy looking for his one and only. Smilewide Productions at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 441-4149. $13 general, $10 students. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through April 13.
THE MAN WHO WAS THURSDAY
John Longenbaugh adapts G. K. Chesterton's Edwardian spy novel. "In the guise of a spy adventure, Thursday tries to create a grandiose religious metaphor... the execution of clever plot mechanics supersedes any genuine human character." (Bret Fetzer) Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $10-$26. Wed-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat at 2 pm. (Fri nights feature NightCap Comedy Improv at 10:15 pm, $5.) Through April 20.
NINE HOLES GOES CRAZY
Buncha short plays, sorta on the theme of madness. Theatre Babylon at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. $12 (pay-what-you-can on Thursdays). Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. (Special pay-what-you-can performance on Mon April 8 at 8 pm.) Through April 27.
SCHOOLHOUSE ROCKS LIVE!
Closes this week. A musical based on the public-service cartoons of yore. ReAct at Langston Hughes Cultural Arts Center, 17th & Yesler, 364-3283. $18 general, $15 students/seniors/military, $12 children. Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm and 7:30 pm. Through April 7.
SEX IN SEATTLE, EPISODE 4: NEW YEAR CONFESSIONS
Closes this week. The latest installment in this Asian American sex-soap-opera. SIS Productions at Center House Theatre, Seattle Center House, 305 Harrison St, 323-9443. $12 general, $8 students/seniors/actors. Fri at 10 pm, Sat at 7:30 & 10 pm. Through April 6.
TEATRO ZINZANNI: DINNER & DREAMS
Previewed this issue. The most expensive dinner theater of all time; three hours of gluttony, lust, and eye candy. Featuring the effervescent yet earthy Kevin Kent. Teatro ZinZanni, Sixth & Battery, 805-0015. $89 Wed-Fri & Sun, $99 Sat (includes dinner, but not beverages or gratuity). Wed-Sat at 6:30 pm, Sun at 5:30 pm. Open run.
Not one of Shakespeare's best, but neither was Cymbeline, and Intiman's production kicked ass. Directed by Bartlett Sher. Intiman Theatre, Seattle Center, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $30-$42 ($10 for anyone 25 & under). Tues-Thurs & Sun at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm (Wed matinee at 2 pm on April 24). Through April 27.
A schizoid play about a schizoid young woman. Stepping Stone Productions at Nippon Kan Theatre, 628 S Washington St, 325-6500. $15 general, $12 students/seniors. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through April 13.
TWILIGHT ZONE MARATHON
Four episodes, back to back. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $15 Fri-Sat, $12 Thurs-Sun. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through April 27.
THE WAVERLY GALLERY
Closes this week. A play by Kenneth Lonergan (You Can Count on Me) about an elderly woman losing her marbles. "The play's greatest weakness is the story itself.... What lingers is the dialogue, which is like the brushstrokes of a painting: not what the painting depicts, yet deeply--essentially--what it's about." (Bret Fetzer) The Empty Space, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500. $22-$30. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm (select performances Sat-Sun at 2 pm). Through April 6.
Closes this week. A bunch of sweaty, stomping Celts. Go at your own risk. The Paramount Theatre, Ninth and Pine, 292-2787. $26.50-$62.50. Tues-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm, Sun at 7:30 pm. Through April 7.
FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY
This week only. A chamber opera featuring a toy piano, about baseball, food, and prophecy. ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $10 general, $8 students/seniors. Mon-Tues at 7:30 pm.
* CIRCUS CONTRAPTION
Closes this week. Baroque Wrestlers, the Beer Bottle Orchestra, and more. "Tim Burton would sell what's left of his soul for just a sip of the vintage strain of vaudeville running through the veins of this anarchic troupe." (Tamara Paris) Sand Point Magnuson Park, 7400 Sand Point Way NE, 442-2004. $15. All shows 21 and over, Fri-Sat at 8:30 pm. Through April 6.
HEART AND SOUL
This week only. An homage to songs of the 1950s. Seattle Men's Chorus at Benaroya Hall, Third & Union, 323-2992. $12.50-$30. Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. (Also: SMC does its Annual Free Concert for Kids on Sat at 4 pm, also at Benaroya Hall.)
This week only. Shunpike's regular multi-arts installation & performance event. The Shunpike Arts Collective at the Penny Café, 1707 NW Market St, 784-6426. $2 suggested donation. Thurs at 8 pm.
MARKET FRESH IMPROV
The audience selects from a menu of improv games. Market Theatre, Post Alley (you know, down below the pig), 781-9273. $10. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Open run.
* NORTHWEST NEW WORKS
Closes this week. Always the most exciting compilation of new dance, theater, music, and what-the-fuck-was-that by Northwest performers. Featuring Laura Curry, Amii LeGendre, the Three Yells, ana SasKia, Pablo Cornejo, Macha Monkey, and more, more, more. On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. $5-$12 single tickets, multi-show passes available. Fri-Sat at 7:30 & 10:30 pm (different performances at different times; call for details). Through April 8.
This week only. Ragtime and vaudeville galore! Hokum Hall, 7904 35th Ave SW, 937-3613. $14 general, $12 senior/student/with reservations (except table seats). Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 3 pm.
Opening. Improv comedy in a judicial setting. Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave, 442-2044. $7 general, $5 students. Sat at 10:30 pm. Through April 13.
* MONEY & RUN, EPISODE 3
Opening. Subtitled: Save the Last Dance for Run. The usual lowbrow high jinks and slow-motion fight choreography. Featuring human train wreck (and Stranger writer) Tamara Paris as Big Momma Bob! Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 324-5801. $10 (pay-what-you-can preview on Thurs April 4). Thurs-Sat at 11 pm. Through April 27.
SPIN THE BOTTLE
This week only. Annex's monthly late-night schmeer, featuring Mark Boeker, a film by Richard LeFebvre, and more. Annex Theatre at Velocity MainSpace, 915 E Pine St, second floor, 728-0933. $7. Fri at 11 pm.
CABARET: THE ResERECTION at Coffee Messiah, 861-8233.
JET CITY IMPROV at ArtsWest, 938-0339; at the Ethnic Cultural Theater, 781-3879.
LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at ACT Theatre, 292-7676.
MYSTERIAN at Illusionz Magical Entertainment Center, Issaquah, 425-427-2444.
QUEER AS A THREE-DOLLAR BILL at the Comedy Underground, 800-992-8499.
THEATERSPORTS at the Market Theater, 781-9273.