OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

* ANTHOLOGY
Top-notch sketch comedians the Habit return with a greatest-hits assemblage. "At their best, the boys of the Habit do more than toss off gags--they create little worlds." (Bret Fetzer) The Bathhouse Theatre, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 325-6500. $10. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sat at 11 pm. Through April 20.


ANTIGONE

Frenchy Jean Anouilh's modernization of the Greek myth. Theatre Company #3 at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. $10-$12 (pay-what-you-will Mon April 15). Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through April 27.


BURN THIS

Closes this week. Wonky dancer gets in a tizzy over snooty poseur. ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $10-$22. Wed-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, selected Sat-Sun at 3 pm (call for details). Through April 13.


CHOOZE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: OUTER SPACE AND BEYOND

Closes this week. The second theatrical variation on the kids' books, where you get to decide where the plot goes. "Funny bits crop up throughout the show... but 90 minutes feels like two hours." (Bret Fetzer) Re-bar, 1114 Howell St (at Boren), 444-4315. $10. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through April 13.


CRIMINAL HEARTS

Female burglar helps wronged wife take revenge on her jerky husband. Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki Ave SW, 935-8420. $29 plus tax with meal, $15 show only (limited availability). Fri-Sun at 7:30 pm (dinner at 6:30 pm). Through April 20.

* DON JUAN
Closes this week. A idea-driven version of history's most notorious horndog. "[This play is] a genuinely intriguing curiosity, as perverse and willful as its hero, and since it may not be performed again, you may want to take a chance with its philosophical pleasures." (Bret Fetzer) Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, 443-2222. $15-$44 ($10 for anyone under 25). Tues-Sun at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. Through April 13.


FULLY COMMITTED

Solo show about an unemployed actor taking reservations for an ultra-chic restaurant. "Though there are some laughs (thanks to actor R. Hamilton Wright), the script is bland and mechanical--the theatrical equivalent of a bag of potato chips." (Bret Fetzer) ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $24.50-$29.50. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Open run.


HAIR

Opening. The closest thing to a rock musical before Hedwig, now a nostalgia-fest. Featuring "brief nudity." The 5th Ave Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave, 292-2787. $12-$48. Tues-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm, Sun at 7:30 pm. Through April 21.


HOLES

Opening. Young boy unjustly sentenced to hard labor; sneaky warden has a secret agenda. Seattle Children's Theatre, 201 Thomas St, Seattle Center, 442-3322. $21.50-$24.50 adults, $14.50-$17.50 for kids/seniors. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 & 5:30 pm. Through June 23.


IF I DIE IN A COMBAT ZONE

Reviewed this issue. A bunch of the boys in this testosterone-driven Vietnam War show are total hotties. Book-It at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 325-6500. $19 (senior/student/group discounts). Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through April 28.


INTO THE WEST

Reviewed this issue. Two kids and a horse. What more do you need? Seattle Children's Theatre, 201 Thomas St at Seattle Center, 441-3322. Adults $21.50-$22.50, senior/student/child $14.50-$15.50. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 & 5:30 pm. Through April 28.


IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME

Reviewed this issue. A new musical about, you know, love and stuff. An "Audience Favorite" at the last Fringe Festival. Umbrella Arts at Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 281-4285. $15. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 6 pm. Through April 28.


THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

Closes this week. About a guy looking for his one and only. "The whole scenario would have played out cutely and succinctly in, say, a 30-minute 'must-see-TV' time slot--but for two hours? Sheesh!" (Adrian Ryan) Smilewide Productions at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 441-4149. $13 general, $10 students. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through April 13.


THE MAN WHO WAS THURSDAY

John Longenbaugh adapts G. K. Chesterton's Edwardian spy novel. "In the guise of a spy adventure, Thursday tries to create a grandiose religious metaphor... the execution of clever plot mechanics supersedes any genuine human character." (Bret Fetzer) Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $10-$26. Wed-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat at 2 pm. (Fri nights feature NightCap Comedy Improv at 10:15 pm, $5.) Through April 20.


NINE HOLES GOES CRAZY

Buncha short plays, sorta on the theme of madness. Theatre Babylon at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. $12 (pay-what-you-can on Thursdays). Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through April 27.


OLEANNA

Opening. He said, she said, he loses his tenure. Motley Theater at Theatre 4, Seattle Center House, 4th floor, 325-6500. $15 Fri-Sat, $12 Sun. Fri-Sun at 7:30 pm. Through April 20.


TEATRO ZINZANNI: DINNER & DREAMS

The most expensive dinner theater of all time; three hours of gluttony, lust, and eye candy. Featuring the effervescent yet earthy Kevin Kent. Teatro ZinZanni, Sixth & Battery, 805-0015. $89 Wed-Fri & Sun, $99 Sat (includes dinner, but not beverages or gratuity). Wed-Sat at 6:30 pm, Sun at 5:30 pm. Open run.


TITUS ANDRONICUS

Not one of Shakespeare's best, but neither was Cymbeline, and Intiman's production kicked ass. Directed by Bartlett Sher. Intiman Theatre, Seattle Center, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $30-$42 ($10 for anyone 25 & under). Tues-Thurs & Sun at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm (Wed matinee at 2 pm on April 24). Through April 27.


TOMORROW WENDY

Closes this week A schizoid play about a schizoid young woman. Stepping Stone Productions at Nippon Kan Theatre, 628 S Washington St, 325-6500. $15 general, $12 students/seniors. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through April 13.


TWILIGHT ZONE MARATHON

Four episodes, back to back. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $15 Fri-Sat, $12 Thurs-Sun. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through April 27.


DANCE


INTIMATE SPACE

This week only. The monthly dose of Butoh. Featuring composer Jeff Greinke. Dappin' Butoh, 2353 N 64th St, 526-5756. $10 (reservations required). Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm.


TANGO TONIGHT

Opening. The heat of tango made lukewarm by the iciness of ballet. Pacific Northwest Ballet at Mercer Arts Arena, 363 Mercer St, 292-2787. $15-$110. Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sat at 2 pm. Through April 20.


FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY


MADAME PEABODY'S SCHOOL OF DANCE

This week only. An evening of "old school drag." I didn't know there was a "new school." Featuring Suni Dae, Rosita, and Topsey von Jekyll, among others. The Catwalk, 172 S Washington, no reservations needed. $6 cover (21 and over). Thurs at 9:30 pm.


MARKET FRESH IMPROV

The audience selects from a menu of improv games. Market Theatre, Post Alley (you know, down below the pig), 781-9273. $10. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Open run.


VASILISA THE BEAUTIFUL

This week only. A Russian folk tale, featuring dance, music, stiltwalking, fire performance, and puppetry. The Cabiri at Marvin Gardens Park, 22nd & Ballard Ave, 609-3212. Free. Sat at 7:30 & 9 pm.


WHIMSY AND ANTICS

This week only. The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players, Gregory Hischack, stand-up comedy, and more. ReBirth at Serpentine Art Space, underground at 1621 E Pine, 617-3416. $8. Fri at 8 pm.


LATE NIGHT


COMEDY COURT

Closes this week. Improv comedy in a judicial setting. Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave, 442-2044. $7 general, $5 students. Sat at 10:30 pm. Through April 13.


ESCURIAL

Opening. A sick king bickers with his jester. Hoi Polloi Productions at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 3rd floor, 324-6328. $10. Thurs-Sat at 10 pm. Through May 11.


* MONEY & RUN, EPISODE 3

Opening. Subtitled: Save the Last Dance for Run. The usual lowbrow high jinks and slow-motion fight choreography. Featuring Stranger writer Tamara Paris (who is pretty, friendly, and would never piss on my couch, eat all my breakfast cereal, or steal my TV while I was at work) as Big Momma Bob! Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 324-5801. $10. Thurs-Sat at 11 pm. Through April 27.


LONG RUNS

CABARET: THE ResERECTION at Coffee Messiah, 861-8233.

JET CITY IMPROV at ArtsWest, 938-0339; at the Ethnic Cultural Theater, 781-3879.

LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at ACT Theatre, 292-7676.

MYSTERIAN at Illusionz Magical Entertainment Center, Issaquah, 425-427-2444.

QUEER AS A THREE-DOLLAR BILL at the Comedy Underground, 800-992-8499.

THEATERSPORTS at the Market Theater, 781-9273.


ELSEWHERE


A FLEA IN HER EAR

The classic French farce. The Driftwood Players at the Wade James Theatre, 950 Main St, Edmonds, 425-774-9600. $18 general, $16 juniors/seniors. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through April 28.


MAKING TRACKS

A rock musical about generations of Asian American history. Village Theatre, 303 Front St N, Issaquah, 425-392-2202. $36-$42 general, $32 seniors, $25 anyone 18 and under. Tues-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through April 21.


VICTOR/VICTORIA

The transvestite musical, without Julie Andrews. SecondStory Repertory, Redmond Town Center, next to Borders Books, 425-881-6777. $22 general, $18 students/seniors/educators. Fri-Sat at 8:15 pm; Sun April 28 at 2:15 pm. Through May 4.

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