BODY BLOWS

This week only. In the publicity for his new work, Tim Miller (who never lets you forget his inclusion in the NEA four) indulges in some pretty poetry about all the meanings of the word "blow." Somehow, he managed to leave out "blow job"; I personally would revoke his membership for this and this only. Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 382-4250. $15. June 20, 21, 22, 23 at 8 pm.

BLACK TO MY ROOTS

Monologues and ensemble pieces about African American women and their hair (a more charged cultural political issue than you might think). ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $10-$15. Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm; Sat at 2:30 pm. Through June 29.

THE CONVENTION OF CARTOGRAPHY

Opening. A fictional story about a fictional exhibition of fictional artifacts. Written by W. David Hancock. Empty Space Theatre in an abandoned warehouse, 912 Maynard Ave S, 547-7500, $12. Thurs-Sun at 8 pm; Sat-Sun at 2 pm; Additional 10 pm shows Fri July 12 & 19. Through July 21.

DEATH AND THE MAIDEN

"Remember when Sigourney in the Mist beat the shit out of her maybe-rapist, Ghandi Kingsley? Well, 10 years after it was written and eight years after it was made into a feature film, Death and the Maiden reappears. This time the empowered survivor (played by Leticia Lopez) is inexplicably unable to raise her voice above a whine--maybe because her accused rapist is Todd Licea, who shines as both an actor and as a really attractive man tied to a chair in his underwear. Scenic designer Etta Lillianthal's minimalism is a breath of fresh air, but lengthy blackouts, lack of intermission, and unbearable heat ultimately kill this Maiden." (Victoria Peha) Bridges International Repertory Theatre at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 325-6500. $25. Thurs at 7:30 pm; Fri at 8 pm; Sat at 4:30 pm and 9 pm; Sun at 2 pm. Through June 30.

DIRTY BLONDE

Mae West is the unlikely muse in this comedy about a struggling actress. Originally performed by Claudia Shear (who co-wrote it) on the other Broadway. "Good script, sloppy production." (Victoria Peha) ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $32.50-$44. Sun-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, matinees June 22, 23, 29, & 30. Through June 30.

THE GRAPES OF DELANO

Opening. A family struggles. Theatre Babylon at Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. $12. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through July 13.

INFORMAL INTRODUCTIONS

New plays about relationships and love and journeys and stuff. Brought to you by Stepping Stone Productions, Green Theatre Productions, and the Poet's Theatre. Nippon Kan Theatre, 628 S Washington St, 325-6500. $15. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through June 29.

FULLY COMMITTED

Solo show about an unemployed actor taking reservations for an ultra-chic restaurant. Now with David Scully. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $24.50-$29.50. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Open run.

G-D DOESN'T PAY RENT HERE

A one-woman show, featuring Judy Gold, about the travails of being a Jewish mother. Directed by Allison Narver. The Empty Space Theatre, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500. $22-$30. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm, some matinees Sat-Sun at 2 pm (call for dates); no performances June 21-23. Through June 30.

* HAIRSPRAY

Closing. John Waters' movie had everything: the grouchy and splendid Divine, kitsch up the wazoo, and Ricki Lake as a big girl who dances her way to the top... of Baltimore. It's been re-imagined as a musical, with all sorts of royalty attached--people who worked on The Producers and South Park: The Movie. 5th Avenue Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave, 625-11900. $16-$58. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. Through June 23. See review this issue.

HOLES

Closing. Young boy unjustly sentenced to hard labor; sneaky warden with a secret agenda. Seattle Children's Theatre, 201 Thomas St, Seattle Center, 441-3322. $21.50-$24.50 adults, $14.50-$17.50 for kids/seniors. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 & 5:30 pm. Through June 23.

HOTEL: A COMIC PLAY IN 23 ACTS

Opening. Oddball people in a wacky hotel--just like life! Some Kind of Cult at the Jewel Box Theater, The Rendezvous, 2320 Second Ave, CULT-333. $10. June 21, 22, 23 & July 5, 6, 12, 13 at 8 pm; June 29 at 10 pm.

HOWARD'S END

"A novel isn't a flat experience--some parts you read, some you take in, some you live. Howard's End, the lovely, perfect novel by E.M. Forster, is flattened by Book-It's method (adapting fiction to the stage with narration incorporated into the dialogue). In this case, a lively, athletic production begins to feel very quickly like a marathon; some things should simply be perceived by the mind, and not spoken by characters. It's not that Howard's End defies adaptation; too many of us remember that Merchant-Ivory managed it very well." (Emily Hall) Book-It Repertory Theater at Seattle Center House Theatre, 305 Harrison St, 325-6500. $19. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through June 30.

LACKAWANNA BLUES

Ruben Santiago-Hudson in over 20 roles (exhausting!), with original music by Bill Sims Jr. (bluesy!). This Obie Award-winning play (acclaimed!) performed by a Tony Award-winning actor (applauded!) is a recreation of Santiago-Hudson's childhood in Lackawanna, New York. Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $27-$42. Tues-Thurs & Sun at 7:30 pm; Fri-Sat at 8 pm; matinees Sat, Sun, & July 10 at 2 pm. Through July 13.

LITTLE WHITE PILL

Opening. A man yearns for a drug that will erase the fear of death. It was a very good idea in a novel by Don DeLillo; here it's a very good idea in a play by former critic John Longenbaugh. Ursa Major Theatre Company at Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 325-6500, $12. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, with an additional performance July 1 at 8 pm; no show July 4. Through July 13.

PRICK

This week only. In K. Brian Neel's play, a fantasy writer approaches the boundaries of his fantasy world. Empty Space Theatre, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500, $25. June 21-23 at 8 pm.

SLEUTH

Closing. Anthony Shaffer's award-winning mystery, originally starring Sir Laurence Olivier, who is currently unavailable. Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $18-$26. Wed-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun matinee at 2 pm. Through June 22.

SOUTH PACIFIC

Closing. Thought you'd never hear the names Robert Goulet and James Michener in the same sentence? You just did. Paramount Theatre, 911 Pine, 292-2787. $20-$56. Tues-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm, Sun at 7:30 pm. Through June 23.

TEATRO ZINZANNI: DINNER & DREAMS

The most expensive dinner theater of all time--three hours of gluttony, lust, and eye candy. Featuring the effervescent yet earthy Kevin Kent. Teatro ZinZanni, Sixth & Battery, 805-0015. $89 Wed-Fri & Sun, $99 Sat (includes dinner, but not beverages or gratuity). Wed-Sat at 6:30 pm, Sun at 5:30 pm. Open run.

THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE

A talky play by talky William Saroyan, directed by Rita Giomi. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 324-5801. $12-$18. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, matinee June 23 at 2 pm. Through June 29.

WE ARE NOT GOOD GIRLS

It's back! Behind and in front of the scenes on an all-women blues tour. Play and music by Kate Hart, directed by Lilli Harwood. Seattle Public Theater at Bathhouse Theater, 7312 W Green Lake Drive N, 524-1300 or 325-6500. $16-$18. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun matinees at 2 pm. Through July 21.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY

A... MY NAME IS ALICE

Musical skits about contemporary women. RipTide Theatre at ArtsWest Playhouse, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-9793, $26 includes dinner and dessert. Fri-Sat at 7 pm; additional shows June 30, July 7, & July 14. Through July 20.

ANTIQUES IMPROV SHOW

Opening. Bring your own objects; these jokers will tell you what you've got. The problem with the premise is... don't you think those real appraisers are pretty much winging it too? Unexpected Productions at Market Theater, Post Alley, 781-9273. $10. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through July 13.

extrABBAganza

Opening. Brace yourselves: 200 men singing the songs of ABBA in honor of Pride Week. Arranger David Maddux has commented on how challenging these songs are for a chorus (to say nothing of how challenging for the audience). Seattle Men's Chorus at Meany Theater, University of Washington, 323-2992. $17.50-$30. Daily at 8 pm; June 29 at 2 pm. June 26-29.

FALLEN WOMEN FOLLIES

Closing. With a different mix of performers each night. You might be lucky enough to catch the erotic trapeze act... foxy, as always. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. $15. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through June 22.

IMPROVISED SHAKESPEARE

Like Shakespeare, but made up. The new trend in improv. Unexpected Productions at Market Theatre, Post Alley, 781-9273. $10. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Open run.

KAFTAN!

A cabaret that sends itself up. (Hey... wait a minute.) With It's Mark Mitchell, Kurt B. Reighley, Paula!, and guests. "The shtick seems to revolve around Mitchell and Reighley's decorous and 'exotic' shirts and Paula's flowing blue Middle Eastern gown.... The song selections also hinted at some elaborate conceit from Reighley's campy cross-referenced brain. The pianist, Victor Noriega, was flawless--playing with deceptively lazy precision. The singing troupe ought to take the energy down a notch to tap the Sunday-night vibe better, but Kaftan! is a nice-enough dose of free entertainment." (Josh Feit) Swedish Housewife at ING, 1530 Bellevue Ave, 329-5388. Free. Sun at 9 pm. Ongoing.

LA MOME PIAF: THE LIFE AND SONGS OF A FRENCH LEGEND

The life and work of Edith Piaf, with dinner, unless you say, "Je ne mange rien." Cabaret at Crêpe de Paris, 1333 Fifth Ave, second floor, 623-4111. $45 for dinner and show, $20 for show only. Fri-Sat at 8:30 pm. Through June 29.

THE NIGHT OF 1,000 JUDYS

This week only. Do you ever think that Judy Garland, fidgeting in her grave or floating above us or whatever, ever says, "Gee, I've enjoyed being a gay icon and having my songs interpreted by a gazillion not-quite-famous cabaret stars lounging on a gazillion rickety pianos, but guys? Give it a rest." I do. Nonetheless, It's Mark Mitchell celebrates his 40th birthday with a tribute to the lady. Happy birthday IMM. Swedish Housewife at Catwalk, 172 S Washington, 852-7499. $6. June 20 at 9 pm.

VALLEY GIRL

This week only. The latest in the Brown Derby Series on teen angst: a staged reading of the grammatically interesting movie from that decade that was handicapped in so very many ways. With Nick Garrison, Jenie Hall, and others! Bald Faced Lie at Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 233-9873, $8. June 24-26 at 8 pm.

LATE NIGHT

DR. JOHN

Behind the scenes at a soap opera. Soapy! Stepping Stone Productions at Nippon Kan Theatre, 628 S Washington St, 325-6500. $5-$6. Fri-Sat at 10:30 pm. Through June 29.

IMPROV SURVIVOR

Theater games with a nasty voting-off-the-island twist. Comedy Court at Odd Duck Studios, 1214 10th Ave, 442-2044. June 22, 29 at 10:30 pm.

NIGHTCAP COMEDY IMPROV

Closing. Following Friday-night performances of Sleuth. Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $5. June 21 at 10:15 pm.

PEGGY PLATT

This week only. You know her. You love her. She's here. With guest performances by Lisa Koch. ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $10. June 21 at 10:30 pm.

THE SONGS OF JUDY AND LIZA

Opening. CHRISTAMIGHTY! (But, in an interesting twist on the usual, sung by women.) Thumper's Restaurant, 1500 E Madison, 328-3800. $12. Fri-Sat at 10 pm; June 23 at 9 pm. Through June 29.

LONG RUNS

CABARET: THE ResERECTION at Coffee Messiah, 861-8233.

JET CITY IMPROV at ArtsWest, 938-0339; at the Ethnic Cultural Theater, 781-3879.

LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at ACT Theatre, 292-7676.

QUEER AS A THREE-DOLLAR BILL at the Comedy Underground, 800-992-8499.

THEATERSPORTS at the Market Theater, 781-9273.

EVENTS

FIRE

This week only. Fire, the second installment in a three-performance series, celebrates the fire of human creativity with dance and art and fashion and stuff. It benefits the Northwest Burn Foundation; is it just me, or is this in terrible taste? At 615 Boren Ave; for information go to www.lesegoistes.com. $23-$695 (that's right, $695). June 22; starts at 9 pm and goes all night long.

FORUM THEATER: INTERACTIVE PERFORMANCE AND COMMUNITY DIALOGUE

This week only. This is the kind of thing that sends me running for the bottle, but if you're a more responsible citizen, you may enjoy this problem/solution/theater thingy with audience participation and conversation. Now pardon me, must run. Mandala Center for Awareness, Transformation, and Action at Chamber Theatre, 915 E Pine St, fourth floor. Free. June 21 at 7:30 pm.

PERSEPHONE'S CHOICE

This week only. A sneak preview (how "sneak" can it be if they sent out a press release?) of a performance with lots of fire in it. Ignis Devoco Industrial Fire Circus, Thermogenesis, Pyrosutra, and the Flame Academy at the Fremont Unconventional Center, 160 N Canal St, 633-3764. $15. June 21 at 5 pm.