OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS


ABSURD PERSON SINGULAR

ACT kicks off its latest season with Alan Ayckbourn's uplifting look at three couples wasting away in suburban mediocrity. Featuring Julie Briskman, Liz McCarthy, Marianne Owen, and Larry Paulsen. "This tightly constructed play is undeniably funny and cuttingly black in parts. The problem lies in the execution. The director has allowed (encouraged?) the actors to gracelessly mug in such grotesque obsequy that each joke is canceled before payment, a kind of premature ejokulation, where the actors laugh a millisecond before you do. (Confidential to R. Hamilton Wright--you're turning into Tim Conway, buddy.) These characters should be sad because they don't understand their situation, and funny because we do. Only Michael Winters and Marianne Owen seem to understand this most basic of theatrical conceits and underplay beautifully. Too bad the other "Seattle superstars" didn't show their class. " (Tamara Paris) ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $45. Tues-Thurs and Sun at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. Through Aug 3.

THE BIG TIME!

One night only. See preview this issue. Left Coast Theatre at Nippon Kan Theatre, 628 S Washington St, 224-0181. $6-$8. Sat July 26 at 5 pm.

BLUE/ORANGE

Opening. A hit over there in merry ol' England (whose taste as a nation is endlessly questionable), Joe Penhall's award-winning drama concerns the ideological battle between two psychiatrists over the well-being of a particular mental patient. Intiman Playhouse, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $27-$42. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm.

CHEATIN'

"Goings-on" in a small town in Texas. Edge of the World Theatre, 9673 Firdale Ave, Edmonds, 542-7529. $17-$20. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7:30 pm. Through Aug 2.

THE COUNTRY WIFE

Theater Schmeater makes a desperate bid for sunstroke with an outdoor staging of this William Wycherley classic. Volunteer Park. Free. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm. Through Aug 2.

THE COVER OF LIFE

Final week. Following the World War II enlistment of three brothers, the Cliffert wives move in with Mama Cliffert--a true story that inspired a Life magazine article, an article that inspired a play. This play, in fact. The Driftwood Players at Wade James Theatre, 950 Main St, Edmonds, 425-774-9600. $14-$16. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through July 28.

HANSEL AND GRETEL

Reprehensible gluttony matched only by the horrors of backwoods cannibalism in the most frightening story ever told. "I know I heard somewhere that somebody wrote this piece (there were no programs, so we can't be sure of anything), but I swear the actors were just making it up as they went along. There was all the klutzy ad-libbing, hamming, camping, and clamoring typical of unpracticed performers--including much tit and crotch grabbing, circuitous ramblings, and myriad sailor-mouthed exclamations. And although musical adaptations of old folk/fairy tales are not unheard of, this one flouted all convention by featuring not a single individual who could sing, and no real music--unless you count as real music a few clumsy and indecipherable lyrics sung over the first few lyric-free moments at the beginning of an old George Michael song. I don't. " (Adrian Ryan) Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 233-9873. $10. Sun at 7 pm. Through Aug 17.

JEANNE THE MAID

Opening. Akropolis Performance Lab brews a stew of the bible, Hieronymus Bosch, and the trials of Jeanne d'Arc to indict everyone in our complicit little world. Akropolis Performance Lab at Chamber Theater, 915 E Pine St, fourth floor. $12-$10. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 1 pm, Tues-Wed at 8 pm. Through Aug 16.

LEND ME A TENOR

The Cleveland Grand Opera has a problem on its hands--a big, dead, Italian problem--and the solution? MADCAP COMEDY! SecondStory Repertory, 16587 74th St, Redmond, 425-881-6777. $14-$18. Fri-Sat at 8:15 pm. Through Aug 9.

THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR

In his "most contemporary comedy" (?!?!), Big Willie Styles breaks off another wack jam--and this time, it's in the park. GreenStage Theater Company. Call 748-1551 for locations, dates, and times, or see www.greenstage.org. Free. Through Aug 11.

MURDER AT CRAGGY ROCK

A Wild West musical-mystery-comedy set to steak, featuring characters with names like Slappy, Hap Hazard, El Gatito, and Fifi. Northwest Murder Mysteries at Crepe de Paris, 1333 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. $45-$47. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Aug 2.

NINE HOLES RISES FROM THE ASHES

"All nine 10-minute plays take the idea of resurrection and run with it, to varying degrees of success. Half the plays are ash--useless, burned out, and futile. But this is fully redeemed by the few that burn brightly like a cleansing fire. Wesley Middleton's Good Thing in the Land of Bad mesmerizes the audience with the musical fairy tale of a bad queen (played perfectly by Amanda Wiehe) searching for her one true love (the very talented Josh Hartvigson) after nearly losing her queendom. Truly the standout of the evening, this play alone is worth the 80-minute wait. (Gregory Zura) Theatre Babylon at Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. $12. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Aug 9.

ONCE UPON A LIFE

This week only. As part of the Seattle Children's Theatre's rapid summer season, Once is one long improv game that challenges its players to create the life story of a character in 40 minutes. Seattle Children's Theatre, 201 Thomas St, 441-3322. $5-$11. Thurs-Fri at 7 pm, Sat at 1 pm.

PIPPIN

This week only. One of many things I acquired by hanging out with the drama kids in high school (aside from all the VD, of course): the ability to recite any chorus from the musical Pippin. But enough about me. Seattle Children's Theatre, 201 Thomas St, 441-3322. $5-$11. Thurs-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 pm.

SANKOFA THEATRE: A MAAFA EXPERIENCE

This week only. The controversial Maafa Suite formula (one part moving slave trade commentary, one part heavy-handed spiritual) re-envisioned by locals in Sankofa Theatre: A Maafa Experience--which translates roughly to "a disastrous experience." Be warned. Moore Theatre, 1932 Second Ave, 628-1414. $14-$20. Thurs at 7 pm, Fri at 11 am and 8 pm, Sun at 4 pm.

SEX IN SEATTLE, EPISODE 7: GRAPHIC IMAGES

The popular episodic soap opera about the absurdly tangled love affairs of four sassy Asian American chicks returns. SIS Productions at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 323-9443. $8-$12. Fri-Sat at 8 and 10:30 pm. Through Aug 2.

THE SPITFIRE GRILL

"It flopped on Broadway and they blamed 9/11. That sounds like two loads of BS served with a side of crap, but the excuse might hold water. Something this derivative and formulaic should have been far more commercially successful. " (Adrian Ryan) Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $10-$26. Wed-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm. Through Aug 9.

VERA WILDE

One night only. See preview this issue. Left Coast Theatre at Nippon Kan Theatre, 628 S Washington St, 224-0181. $10-$12. Sat July 26 at 8 pm.

WAKE OF THE HORSE

One night only. Tribes Alumni Ensemble uses "movement" and "dialogue" (what some folks like to call "acting") to tell the story of the fall of Troy. Tribes Alumni Ensemble at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 632-9800. Sun July 27 at 7 pm.

WHO AM I NOW?

Final week. "The setup for Who Am I Now? is pap, squared: Three old friends--one facing divorce, one facing death, and the third... well, I'm not sure what she was facing, but she sure was facing it--get together to rediscover their friendship and themselves (yack) over many bottles of wine. And whine. The show has spunk, color, and goodwill, but during the smarmy opening title number--in which the three characters lament pathetically over yearbook photos and croon like wounded loons--a little voice in my head said, 'That's it, get the fuck OUT of here.' At intermission, I obeyed. " (Adrian Ryan) Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 783-5559. $15. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through July 26.

YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU

Final week. The Hart/Kaufmann chestnut about a wacky, wacky family. Oh, they're so wacky. Seattle Public Theater at Bathhouse Theatre, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 325-6500. Free. Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm. Through July 26.

DANCE


INFUSION TRIBAL BELLY DANCE

One night only. Bask in the glow of hypnotically undulating flesh. Whoa. Infusion Tribal Belly Dance at Capitol Club, 414 E Pine St, 325-2149. Free. Thurs July 24 at 8 and 9 pm.

INTIMATE STAGE

Opening. Celebrate the 55th anniversary of the already very celebrated Joan Laage's birth with a whole mess of words and dance--as brought to you by the likes of Chris Jarmick, d.K. Pan, and Laage herself--in this month's installment of Intimate Stage. Dappin Butoh at a residential home in Green Lake, 526-5756. $5-$20. Sat July 26 at 7 pm.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY


THE CABARET OF DR. CALIGARI

One night only. I'm not too sure what a bunch of parlor magicians have to do with Robert Wiene's macabre German expressionist classic of 1919, but tonight's production features the talents of Philemon Vanderbeck, Roger Needham, Fredrick Turner, and more. Rendezvous, 2320 Second Ave, 441-5823. $10. Sun July 27 at 7 pm.

CALENDAR GIRLS

One night only. Queer performance troupe the Queen Bees present a hodgepodge of homosexuality in an evening of cabaret that features Miss Indigo Blue, the Boy Toyz, and more. Queen Bees at Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 325-6500. $10. Fri July 25 at 8 pm.

COMEDY COURT

One night only. Improv comedy... in a courtroom setting! Motion denied. Comedy Court at Odd Duck Studios, 1214 10th Ave, 442-2044. $7-$10. Sat July 26 at 10 pm.

MAE WEST FEST

This week only. Over 30 productions in four days, all lovingly soaked in estrogen. Consolidated Works, 500 Boren Ave N, 860-2970. $5-$40. Thurs-Sun, see www.maewestfest.org for individual showtimes and full details.

MIDSUMMER MADNESS

One night only. In a case of brilliant juxtaposition (or perhaps just a sign of our troubled times), BurningHearts finally combines America's two favorite pastimes--kickin' ass and starin' at tits--with an evening of pro wrestlers and ecdysiasts. BurningHearts Burlesque at Rendezvous, 2320 Second Ave, 441-5823. $10. Sat July 26 at 8 pm.

THEATERSCHWARTZ

Classical improvisers the Spolin Players present improv the way it's meant to be... you know, without scripts. Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 425-417-5667. $8-$10. Sat at 10 pm. Through Aug 30.

LONG RUNS
BROADVILLE CARNIVAL at Cafe Venus, 624-4516.

BUBBA AND BITCH at the Bar, 322-1788.

CABARET: THE ResERECTION at Coffee Messiah, 861-8233.

color="#FF0000">* THE HOKUM HALL VARIETY SHOW at Hokum Hall, 937-3613.

JET CITY IMPROV at Ethnic Cultural Theatre, 781-3879.

LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at ACT, 292-7676.

QUEER AS A THREE-DOLLAR BILL at the Comedy Underground, 800-992-8499.

TEATRO ZINZANNI 2301 Sixth Ave, 802-0015.

THEATRESPORTS at the Market Theater, 781-9273.