OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS


ACTION MOVIE: THE PLAY!

See review this issue. Consolidated Works, 500 Boren Ave N, 860-5245. $10-$15. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm (no show Aug 23). Through Aug 30.

BABY: THE MUSICAL

Opening. The terrifying threat of parasitic invasion haunts three couples faced with potential infestation in Richard Maltby's 20-year-old musical, Baby. Second Story Repertory at Redmond Town Center, 16587 NE 74th St, 425- 881-6777. $18-$22. Fri-Sat at 8:15 pm. Through Sept 20.

BLUE/ORANGE

"Joe Penhall's Blue/Orange aspires to the ambiguity of a David Mamet production, but the play is largely too consumed by its own outrage (at the British healthcare system, at inadvertent racism, at the arrogance of doctors) to develop narratively." (Emily Hall) Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $27-$42. Tues-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm. Through Aug 24.

BODYBODY: APHRODITE RAVES

See review this issue. BodyBODY at Theatre Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, 877-278-4842. $12. Thurs-Sun at 8 pm. Through Aug 24.

THE DEBUTANTE BALL

See review this issue. Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 324-6328. $8-$10. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through Aug 23.

* THE GOAT, OR WHO IS SYLVIA?

Final week. "I won't say much for fear of giving too much away, but this is doubtlessly the most emotionally and sexually provocative show about goat-fucking ACT has ever produced. See it, and see if I'm wrong. " (Adrian Ryan) ACT, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $35-$39. Thurs-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm, Tues-Wed at 7:30 pm. Through Aug 17.

HANSEL AND GRETEL

Final week. "I know I heard somewhere that somebody wrote this piece (there were no programs, so we can't be sure of anything), but I swear the actors were just making it up as they went along. There was all the klutzy ad-libbing, hamming, camping, and clamoring typical of unpracticed performers--including much tit and crotch grabbing, circuitous ramblings, and myriad sailor-mouthed exclamations. And although musical adaptations of old folk/fairy tales are not unheard of, this one flouted all convention by featuring not a single individual who could sing, and no real music--unless you count as real music a few clumsy and indecipherable lyrics sung over the first few lyric-free moments at the beginning of an old George Michael song. I don't. " (Adrian Ryan) Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 233-9873. $10. Sun at 7 pm. Through Aug 17.

THE HASTY HEART

To describe Pulitzer Prize-winner John Patrick's The Hasty Heart, ReAct's press release makes use of several death-kisses, such as the phrase "touching tale" (the tongue's most painful alliteration), and the eye-gouging blurb "soldier learns the true meaning of friendship, love and the value of life." But don't shoot the messenger. ReAct at Bathhouse Theatre, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 364-3283. $6-$12. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Aug 31.

INTO THE WOODS

Final week. Stephen Sondheim's fairy-tale musical, performed by kids aged 13-20. ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $10. Thurs-Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 3 and 7:30 pm. Through Aug 17.

JEANNE THE MAID

Final week. "There are two approaches to a play like Jeanne the Maid--artistic and political. Barring two-bit attempts at commentary, Jeanne the Maid is a rough piece of experimental theater with a few beautiful scenes. Next time, I suggest director Joseph Lavy step out of the way and trust the art to perform its own political labor. " (Brendan Kiley) Akropolis Performance Lab at Chamber Theater, 915 E Pine St, fourth floor, 271-9923. $12-$10. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 1 pm, Tues-Wed at 8 pm. Through Aug 16.

JOHN LENNON'S GARGOYLE

See review this issue. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $12-$15. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Sept 6.

THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR

Final week. The corpulent Falstaff (I mean--come on, right?) sends the same love letter to two women; hijinks ensue. Pure froth, Shakespeare or not. GreenStage Theater Company. Call for locations, dates, and times, 748-1551, www.greenstage.org. Free. Through Aug 16.

MURDER'S BAD, BUT MONDAY CAN KILL YOU!

Final week. A triple murder, a psychiatric hospital, multiple personalities, and a gum-covered shoe make up the United Performing Arts Company's latest production, a murder mystery that cracks wise. United Performing Arts Company, 1420 NW 80th St, 783-7224. $12. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm. Through Aug 16.

PLAYWRITING WORKSHOP PERFORMANCES

One weekend only. Students from the North End conclude their tediously typed summers in the company of professional playwrights and directors, in this three-day glimpse at their labors. Green Lake Park, outside Bathhouse Theatre, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 890-1362. Free. Fri-Sun Aug 15-17 at 2 pm.

POINT BREAK LIVE!

After a week of hot anticipation for Point Break Live!, I'm sorry to say that the performance was disappointing. Co-directors Jaime Keeling and Jamie Hook have a wonderful vision, but their play failed to achieve terminal velocity. Little Theatre, 610 19th Ave E, 329-2629. $10-$12. Thurs-Sun at 8 pm. Through Aug 31.

THE SPITFIRE GRILL

"It flopped on Broadway and they blamed 9/11. That sounds like two loads of BS served with a side of crap, but the excuse might hold water. Something this derivative and formulaic should have been far more commercially successful. " (Adrian Ryan) Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $10-$26. Wed-Thurs at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm. Through Aug 30.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY


GLAMAZON FOLLIES

Final week. Another round of pancake makeup and strategic duct tape from the terrifying spectacle of female impersonation. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 723-1945. $12. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through Aug 16.

PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS

Final week. Australians spend an hour on stage playing with their whangs. Think of it as The Cremaster Cycle's retarded little brother. Moore Theatre, 1932 Second Ave, 628-1414. $24-$34. Tues-Thurs at 8 pm, Fri-Sat at 7 and 9:30 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through Aug 17.

STORY SLAM

One night only. Theatrical storytelling featuring "the stories that you search for at dinner parties," which translates to "no stories involving pus." Rendezvous, 2320 Second Ave, 441-5823. $5. Mon Aug 18 at 7 pm.

TALES OF DOMESTICITY AND THE GREYHOUND DIARIES

Final week. Divergent subject matter of the mundane, featuring the Eagle's comedy queen Cathy Sorbo, denigrated weekly on KUOW's deeply unfunny Rewind. Rendezvous, 2320 Second Ave, 441-5823. $10. Tues at 8:30 pm. Through Aug 19.

THEATERSCHWARTZ

Classical improvisers the Spolin Players present improv the way it's meant to be... you know, without scripts. Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 425-417-5667. $8-$10. Sat at 10 pm. Through Aug 30.

DANCE


CARLA BARRAGAN

One night only. Afforded 40 hours of free studio time in Open Flight's Flight Deck residency program, Barragan presents Flip-bud, the first section of a proposed work in the form of a dance flipbook titled Flipeography. Open Flight Studio, 4205 University Way, 706-5422. Free. Fri Aug 15 at 5 pm.

LATE NIGHT


THE TEMPS

Final week. Comprising members of the Habit, Up in Your Grill, and Some Kind of Cult, the Temps offer improv for hire--with little chance of long-term employment. Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 324-6328. $8. Fri at 10:30 pm. Through Aug 15.

TWILIGHT ZONE

Opening. The cash cow returns... and it's thirsty for blood! This round's episodes: Little Girl Lost, and The Eye of the Beholder. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $10. Thurs-Sat at 11 pm. Through Sept 6.

LONG RUNS
BROADVILLE CARNIVAL at Cafe Venus, 624-4516.

BUBBA AND BITCH at the Bar, 322-1788.

CABARET: THE ResERECTION at Coffee Messiah, 861-8233.

* THE HOKUM HALL VARIETY SHOW at Hokum Hall, 937-3613.

JET CITY IMPROV at Ethnic Cultural Theatre, 781-3879.

LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at ACT, 292-7676.

QUEER AS A THREE-DOLLAR BILL at the Comedy Underground, 800-992-8499.

TEATRO ZINZANNI 2301 Sixth Ave, 802-0015.

THEATRESPORTS at the Market Theater, 781-9273.