OPENING THIS WEEK

A CHORUS LINE · ReAct

THE FAGGOT MUSEUM · Theatre Off Jackson

PROJEKT 2000.2 · EXITheatre

ONE WEEK ONLY

GET OUTTA HERE · The Güten Jügs

THE HERB RITTS PROJECT · Up In Your Grill

WEST WORKS · D9 Dance Collective

CLOSING THIS WEEK

MARS IS A STAR WHO DEFIES OBSERVATION · Annex

*SGT. RIGSBY AND HIS AMAZING SILHOUETTES · Annex

TEMPORARY HELP · ACT

OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

A CHORUS LINE

If you don't know what I mean by "tits and ass," you should probably haul yours to this re-staging of the 1975 Broadway musical classic, taken on by Seattle's Repertory Actor's Theatre (ReAct). Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 364-3283. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, through Oct 10. $12-$24.

*DERAILED DESIRES

"For many generations, the phrase 'funny lesbian' was an oxymoron on a par with 'compassionate conservatism.' But the ladies of Pulp Vixens have devoted themselves to demolishing that pigeonhole, wrangling together evenings of camp noir comedy that leave audiences wet with tears and shameful longings. The Vixens' newest creation, Derailed Desires, dishes up lesbian love triangles, hardened tramps, and deadly seductions, set entirely aboard a speeding train bound for trouble. Starring Jennifer Jasper, Mia Levine, and Shawn Yates, and directed by the formidable Kevin Kent." (David Schmader) Spintron, 916 E Pike, 442-2060. Fri & Sat at 8, through Sept 25. $10.

THE FAGGOT MUSEUM

Subtitled, "An Evening of Gay Men Who Talk Too Much," The Faggot Museum is Michael Whistler's tribute to stereotypes -- from "the hyper-dramatic-musical-comedy-queen to the effete collector of antique earthenware." Theatre Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, 985-9157. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 4 pm, through Oct 2. $12/$10.

FAME: THE MUSICAL

The hopes! The dreams! The ambitions! The auditions! New York's High School of Performing Arts spawns a soap opera of democratic back-stabbing, stair-leaping, and starry-eyed young students. Set to music by Steve Margoshes (The Who's Tommy). Paramount, 911 Pine St, 292-2787. Tues-Fri at 8, Sat at 2 & 8, Sun at 2 & 7:30, through Sept 19. $23-$50.

Late Night Catechism

See Bio Box.

LUNCH BOX THEATER SERIES

A thespian diet, composed of alternating lunchtime plays: Unexpected Productions' Cream of Wit, an audience-interactive improv, and theater simple's This is a Play, a comedy about actors. Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. Tues-Sat at noon, through Sept 18. $5.

MARS IS A STAR WHO DEFIES OBSERVATION

The planets are aligned and maligned in this new play by starry-eyed Bret Fetzer; a "crazed collage of sexual politics, medieval animal law, the history of torture, and lurid sex." Annex Theater, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933. Thurs-Sat at 8; Sun at 7, through Sept 11. $10.

NEVILLE'S ISLAND

An "outbound team-building weekend" sets the stage for a return to the wild for four middle-management businessmen, in Tim Firth's absurdist comedy, here directed by Krista Cromwell. Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike, 324-6328. Fri & Sat at 8; Sun at 7, through Sept 25. $10/$8. See review this issue.

OEDIPUS REX

Free, in the park: prophesy and curses! And not just from passing transients -- this time it's Theater Schmeater's Free Classics in the Park production of the Greek definition of family dysfunction, Oedipus Rex. Directed by John Kaufmann. Fri at 7 pm, Sat & Sun at 2 pm: Warren Magnuson Park, Sept 10-Sept 19, 324-5801. Free.

PROJEKT 2000.2

The yet-to-be-renovated Kalakala ferry begs to be used as an artistic space, and EXITheater jumps at the chance with their multi-media installation created by directors, actors, writers, and visual artists. Kalakala, north end of Lake Union on Northlake Way N., 325-7152. Thurs & Fri at 8 pm, through Sept 24. $10 donation.

SKYLIGHT

David Hare's 1996 play centers on Kyra, a young schoolteacher who falls for Tom, a married restaurateur. When their affair is found out, Kyra flees, only to meet up with Tom years later to, shall we say, re-engage. "Skylight is obviously meant to function as both intellectual and emotional revelation. Unfortunately, characters Tom and Kyra might as well be pundits on Face the Nation. Hare wrote long, articulate speeches for each of them, to which they listen patiently and then respond. By the end, I was too tired of listening to care." (Tonia Steed) Intiman Theater, 201 Mercer St, Seattle Center, 269-1900. Sun, Tues, Wed at 7; Thurs-Sat at 8; Sat, Sun at 2, through Sept 18. $10-$39.

TEMPORARY HELP

David Wiltse's noir-influenced psychological thriller steams up ACT's stage. "There's no question about the familiarity of the play's set-up, but with speed and some agility its lack of invention wouldn't matter. Director Gordon Edelstein, though, seems to want matters as laid back as the Midwestern setting, and keeps the blood from flowing to parts that would distract us from the inelegance of Wiltse's writing. Every new plot element is introduced with a thud, and there's no urgency behind the psychological warfare. For all its aspirations otherwise, Temporary Help is a mishmash of stock situations both overcooked and underdone." (Steve Wiecking) ACT, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Tues-Thurs at 7:30, Fri & Sat at 8, Sun at 7, some matinees, through Sept 12. $10-$40.

DANCE

*WEST WORKS

Talented Northwest dance companies come together for this evening of new works, featuring Just Stop It by Amii LeGendre, whose athletic group dances to a drum and bass score; Voices from a Troubled Paradise by Peggy Piacenza, promising narrative style and humor; and Love Macro by Crispin Spaeth, set to '80s rock, among others. On The Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. Fri-Sun at 8 pm, this week only. $14/$12.

FESTIVALS, CABARETS, & COMEDY

GET OUTTA HERE

An international jab at bad performance art, performed by Fringe Fest favorites the Güten Jügs. They promise "you'll cheer" when the theater janitor and techie take over the stage! Union Garage, 1214 10th Ave, 324-1062. Thurs-Sun at 8 & 10:30, Sun at 8, this week only. $8.

IMPROSIA

Character-driven improv based on audience suggestions. Wit's End, 770 N 34th St, tickets at the door. Each Sat at 9:30. $7.

Julie Cascioppo Experience

Songs and characters you may grow to love. The Pink Door, Pike Place Market, 1919 Post Alley, 443-3241. Tues at 8:30 & 11. No cover. 11 pm. Free.

BOOGIE OOGIE FEVER: A DISCO MUSICAL

The '70s: when shoes really meant something, when Geri curl ruled the world. Now this era is re-created by the brother and sister team of David and Lisa Koch, in a comic cabaret musical. Cabaret de Paris, Rainier Square, 1333 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. Thurs at 8, Fri & Sat at 8:30, dinner from 6:30-7:45 pm, through Sept 25. Dinner & show $40, show only $16. See review this issue.

*TEATRO ZINZANNI

Three hours of fancy food and thrilling spectacle from the world over, presented in an antique European dance hall imported from Belgium for the occasion. Now featuring body-juggling brothers from France and the jaw-dropping Kevin Kent. Seattle Center, 222 Mercer St, 281-7788 ext 700 or 292-ARTS. Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 6:30, extended through Dec 31. $88.

LATE NIGHT

THE HERB RITTS PROJECT

The Up In Your Grill comedy troupe, whose goal is "to get normal folks (as opposed to weirdo artsy types) into the theater for a good time," presents the lost footage of three fabulous supermodels lost in the woods. Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 444-4336. Fri at 11, Sat at 11 & 12, this week only. Donation.

*SGT. RIGSBY AND HIS AMAZING SILHOUETTES

The talented mesmerist Scot Augustson manipulates shadows to create sinister and smart storylines. Voices provided by guest Seattle talent. This special performance includes two pieces, "The Lost Bronte Novel" and "Ivey Higgins' Tales for the Stout of Heart." Annex Theatre, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933. Fri & Sat at 11 pm, through Sept 10. $5.

Theater Sports

Improv comedy with a competitive edge, brought to you by Unexpected Productions. Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. Fri & Sat at 10:30, $9. Sun at 7, $5.