by Traci Vogel
OPENING THIS WEEK
DISGRUNTLED BIT PLAYERS · Union Garage
THE GOLDEN CHILD · Seattle Rep
A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM · Pacific Northwest Ballet
THE PURPLE MONSTER STRIKES · Twisted Flicks
RIVERDANCE · Paramount
THE ROYAL FAMILY · Intiman
SIDE MAN · ACT
ONE WEEK ONLY
VELOCITY BENEFIT · Velocity Studio
CLOSING THIS WEEK
BOOGIE OOGIE OOGIE: A DISCO MUSICAL · Cabaret de Paris
*DERAILED DESIRES · Pulp Vixens
DREAMER · Frank Kohel
FRUIT COCKTALE · Hugo House
*NEVILLE'S ISLAND NW Actor's Studio
ON THE SIDE Rockhopper Dance
*POONA THE FUCKDOG · Re-bar
PROJEKT 2000.2 · EXITheatre
*TEXTS FOR NOTHING · Joseph Chaikin
OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS
THE ARTISTS AT GERTRUDE STEIN'S AND ALICE B'S
Set yerself kerplunk down in Gertrude and Alice's salon, alongside Ernest Hemingway and Pablo Picasso, and see what ensues. This collaborative play evolved from the in-character improvisations of the actors involved. Directed by Peter James Cirino. Freehold's East Hall Theater, 1529 10th Ave, 720-7048. Thurs-Sat at 8, through Oct 2. $10.
BEAUTIFUL AND SHINING LIKE ASPHALT
The clever and talented Gregory Hischak (slam poet and editor of the zine Farm Pulp) offers words for the stage in this collection of "dialogues, disconnects, and misunderstandings" performed by Theatre Under the Influence. Hischak's humor never fails to please. Union Garage Performance Space, 1418 10th Ave at Pike, 720-1942. Thurs-Sat at 8, through Oct 9. $10.
CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF
Tennessee Williams' sex-heated drama ssssizzles up Theater Schmeater. Meow. It's free if you're under 18. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 324-5801. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun Oct 3 & Oct 17 at 2, through Oct 23. $12.
A CHORUS LINE
If you don't know what I mean by "tits and ass," you should probably haul yours to this re-staging of the 1975 Broadway musical classic, taken on by Seattle's Repertory Actors Theatre (ReAct). Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 364-3283. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, through Oct 10. $12-$24.
"For many generations, the phrase 'funny lesbian' was an oxymoron on a par with 'compassionate conservatism.' But the ladies of Pulp Vixens have devoted themselves to demolishing that pigeonhole, wrangling together evenings of camp noir comedy that leave audiences wet with tears and shameful longings. The Vixens' newest creation, Derailed Desires, dishes up lesbian love triangles, hardened tramps, and deadly seductions, set entirely aboard a speeding train bound for trouble. Starring Jennifer Jasper, Mia Levine, and Shawn Yates, and directed by the formidable Kevin Kent." (David Schmader) Spintron, 916 E Pike, 442-2060. Fri-Sat at 8, through Sept 25. $10.
EDDIE PAUL REX
The comedians who brought you Happy Panties don overalls to tell the tender story of hillbillies gone wrong -- Greek tragedy wrong, in fact. It's a hillbilly retelling of Oedipus Rex, and this time the Greek chorus sounds suspiciously like a jug band. Fremont Palace, 3509 Fremont Ave N (Empty Space Theatre), 669-4075. Thurs-Sun at 8, through Oct 3. $10.
THE FAGGOT MUSEUM
Michael Whistler's tribute to stereotypes -- from "the hyper, dramatic, musical comedy queen to the effete collector of antique earthenware." "Through a myriad of monologues Whitely plumbs the psyches of men who embody the faggot stereotype. Whitely explores these souls compassionately and with sublime wit before ensconcing them forever in his Faggot Museum, where they become objects of hope and inspiration to a new generation of faggots. Keen witted, big hearted, seamless and, above all, honest, The Faggot Museum may just be the yardstick by which all proceeding Gay Plays are measured." (Adrian Ryan) Theatre Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, 985-9157. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 4, through Oct 2. $12/$10.
A collaborative play based on real-life stories of life in the gay/bisexual world. Meet Miguel (Eddie Vasquez), who "dreams of finding true boylove," and his cast of companions including Anna, the punk rock drag queen (Clinton Jesse). Presented by Queercore. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 517-8458. Thurs-Sat at 8, through Sept 25. $5.
THE GOLDEN CHILD
Tradition and trendiness clash in David Henry Hwang's family planning play. When Andrew learns his wife is pregnant, he is visited by the ghost of his mother, who reminds him of his ancestors in China. The story of Andrew's grandfather's conversion to Westernism ensues. David Hwang won the 1988 Tony, and Golden Child has been described as "sharply comic." Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center, Second & Mercer St, 443-2222. Tues-Sun at 7:30, Sat-Sun at 2, through Oct 30. $10-$29.
THE GRAND HOTEL
Rendezvous: Berlin, 1928. The hotel teems with lost souls and deal-makers. Enter: the famous ballerina, Elizaveta Grushinskaya (Liliane Montevecchi). Let the dancing begin. 5th Avenue Theatre, Fifth & Jackson, 292-ARTS. Tues-Fri at 8, Sat at 2 & 8, Sun at 2 & 7:30, through Oct 3. $19-$50.
Shy office temp Margaret has been consigned to a psych ward for committing a murder of which she has no memory. Talented monologist Susy Schneider plays Margaret and her alter personalities in this psychological mystery that promises a "stunning denouement." On The Boards, 100 W Roy, 217-9888. Thurs-Sun at 8, through Oct 3. $10/$12.
Late Night Catechism
And the nun goes on. Somebody really likes cute Catholics. This is an evening of audience participation and interactive improv theater: think Sister Windy crossed with Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All for You. ACT, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, extended for eternity. $24.50-$29.50.
"I'm tempted to give Neville's Island a rave review solely because all four actors managed consistently convincing British accents. But there are far more impressive aspects of this play to recommend it. The cast is almost perfectly balanced in this ensemble piece, with each actor giving a well-fleshed, honest performance. The story, far from being the melodramatic mess that one might expect from such a story line, is ironic and consistently funny. And although Neville's Island isn't one of those rare theater experiences that will change your life forever, it is surprisingly satisfying." (Adrian Ryan) Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike, 324-6328. Fri-Sat at 8; Sun at 7, through Sept 25. $10/$8.
Remember The Boxcar Children? Orphans runs along the same lines: Two brothers, Treat and Phillip, live an edgy existence, parentless in a mean, mean city. When the brothers kidnap drunk businessman Harold, they find a parent figure who "heralds encouragement and hope." Partial proceeds of this Stepping Stone Production benefit the Seattle Children's Home, Peace for the Streets by Kids from the Street, and Camp Opportunity. Freedom Hall, 3815 Fifth Ave NE, 841-2521. Thurs-Sat at 8; Sun at 7, through Oct 9. $12 ($2 off with donation of a pair of clean socks or clean blanket).
*POONA THE FUCKDOG
"Poona reinvents every social cliché as if it were a naughty and very funny joke told by an intelligent kindergartner. It is smart, bold, and insightful without being sappy...two hours of theater magic that will go down in infamy." (Adrian Ryan) Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. Fri-Sun at 8, through Sept 26. $21.
The yet-to-be-renovated Kalakala ferry begs to be used as an artistic space, and EXITheater jumps at the chance with their multi-media installation created by directors, actors, writers, and visual artists. Kalakala, north end of Lake Union on Northlake Way N, 325-7152. Thurs-Fri at 8, through Sept 24. $10 donation.
The story of pioneer women who packed it all up to follow their dreams, this collection of stories and songs is sure to keep you in stitches when it's not smothering you in sentiment. Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. Wed-Thurs at 7:30, Fri at 8, Sat at 2 & 8, through Oct 9. $14-$22.
THE ROYAL FAMILY
A stage family from Broadway's golden age brings nostalgic fun to the Intiman, in this revival of George S. Kaufman and Edna Ferber's theatrical classic. Intiman Playhouse, Seattle Center, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. Sun, Tues, & Wed at 7; Thurs-Sat at 8; Sat-Sun matinees at 2, through Nov 14. $10-$39.
Described by The New York Times as "sentimental and darkly funny" -- which translates to "snarky" in our book -- Side Man follows a family falling apart because of a father's obsession. ACT's performance is directed by Mladen Kiselov. ACT, Kreielsheimer Place, Seventh Ave & Union St, 292-7676. Tues-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, some matinees, through Oct 17. $10-$40. See also Stranger Suggests.
THE TAMING OF THE SHREW
A loudmouthed bitch gets her ass kicked but good in what some have called Shakespeare's funniest comedy. Penthouse Theater, 17th & 45th on UW Campus, 547-6495. Wed-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, through Oct 3. $5.
TEXTS FOR NOTHING
Highly distinguished actor and director Joseph Chaikin performs in a tailor-edited version of works by Beckett. Chaikin founded the influential Open Theatre, based in New York, and is known for his essential theatrical interpretations. There will be eight performances of Texts for Nothing. ACT, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, through Sept 26. $15.
A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM
Yawn. Oh, hello -- another PNB season kicks off with a dreamy Balanchine classic, fresh from a tour in London, with Renaissance sets. Seattle Center Opera House, 301 Mercer St, 292-ARTS. Thurs-Fri at 7:30, Sat at 2 & 7:30, Sun at 1, through Oct 3. $16.50-$100.
ON THE SIDE
Rockhopper Dance kicks off a new multi-disciplinary performance series, On the Side, an evening-length collection of new works in dance, theater, and music. The inaugural edition features a new trio by dancer/choreographer Juliet Waller; Self-Love, a movement theater piece by Scott David and Rob Kitsos; and Surge, a new commission by choreographer Mark J. Kane, performed by the Rockhoppers themselves. Seattle Mime Theater, 915 E Pike St, Fourth Floor, 860-5620. Thurs-Sat at 8, through Sept 25. $10/12.
The Celtic phenomenon that outdid Enya arrives on Seattle's stage. The sets are huge, the music is shrill, and the taps are deafening; buy tickets for grandma now. Paramount, 911 Pine St, 292-2787. Tues-Fri at 8; Sat at 2 & 8; Sun at 2 & 7:30, through Oct 10. $30-$65.
A benefit gala to fund a new floor for Velocity's mid-sized studio features performances of Bully, by Amii LeGendre, excerpts of 33 Fainting Spells' fabulous Sorrow's Sister, and a duet by members of d-9 Dance Collective. Velocity, A Contemporary Dance Studio, 915 E Pine St, Second Floor, 325-8773. Sat Sept 25 at 8. $10-$20 donation. See also Stranger Suggests.
FESTIVALS, CABARETS, & COMEDY
Tenor Frank Kohel offers up an evening musical cabaret with works ranging from standards to originals by noted composers. Thumpers, 1500 E Madison, 328-3800. Sun Sept 19 & 26 at 9. $7.
Character-driven improv based on audience suggestions. Wit's End, 770 N 34th St, tickets at the door. Saturdays at 9:30. $7.
Julie Cascioppo Experience
Songs and characters you may grow to love. The Pink Door, Pike Place Market, 1919 Post Alley, 443-3241. Tues at 8:30 & 11. No cover.
BOOGIE OOGIE OOGIE: A DISCO MUSICAL
"Perhaps the brilliant brother and sister team of David and Lisa Koch, who authored Boogie Oogie Oogie, had some seriously overdue bills. Maybe the IRS, or even the mob, was after them. There just has to be some logical explanation of why two of the cleverest satirical minds in Seattle theater would stoop to producing an embarrassingly mindless 1970s disco parody." (Adrian Ryan). Cabaret de Paris, Rainier Square, 1333 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. Thurs at 8, Fri-Sat at 8:30, dinner from 6:30-7:45, through Sept 25. Dinner & show $40, show only $16.
Three hours of fancy food and thrilling spectacle from the world over, presented in an antique European dance hall imported from Belgium for the occasion. Now featuring body-juggling brothers from France and the jaw-dropping Kevin Kent. Seattle Center, 222 Mercer St, 281-7788 ext 700 or 292-ARTS. Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 6:30, extended through Dec 8. $88.
*THREE DOLLAR BILL
Seattle's original gay/lesbian/bisexual stand-up comedy night is still standing in its second year. Comedy Underground, 222 S Min St, 324-8025. Tues at 9. $6.
THE A.M. CABARET
Amoral entertainment for insomniacs; promising naked poetry, music, strippers, and drag queens. You may think you're dreaming. This week features Lana Caprina and her Chanel suit, and cake batter face, singing Piaf. Coffee Messiah, 1554 E Olive Way, 860-7377. Sat from 2-4 am. $5.
DISGRUNTLED BIT PLAYERS
Sketch comedy so that sadomasochistic, timid Seattle audiences may be forced to bite their tongues to draw blood. Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 729-4839. Fri-Sat at 11, through Oct 8. $5.
Jet City Improv
Improv comedy and music based on audience suggestions. Ethnic Cultural Theater, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 781-3879. Fri-Sat at 10:30.
THE PURPLE MONSTER STRIKES
A '50s monster short provides silent backdrop for antic improvisation: three different stories in one night! Ethnic Cultural Theater, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 781-3879. Fri Sept 24 & Sat Sept 25 at 10:30. $7.
SPIN THE BOTTLE
Annex's late-night performance is a slumgullion of juggling, dance, singing, and silhouettes, cultivated by the finely tuned Bret Fetzer. Annex Theater, 1916 Fourth Ave, 729-0933. First Friday of every month. No reservations. $5.
Improv comedy with a competitive edge, brought to you by Unexpected Productions. Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. Fri-Sat at 10:30, $9. Sun at 7, $5.
PLAYBACK THEATER NW
Seeking male improv actors and musicians. Those over 30 with heart and intuition are encouraged to audition on Tues Sept 28 from 7-9 pm. Call 726-1415.
NW ACTORS STUDIO
Now holding auditions for the two-year Conservatory Program Class of 2001. For more information call 324-6328.
SEATTLE EMERALD REELS SUPER-8 LOUNGE
Submissions for the fall screening series are now being accepted. Deadline is Sept 27. For application info e-mail email@example.com.
WOMEN IN CINEMA FILM FESTIVAL
The deadline for entries to the fifth annual Women in Cinema Film Festival is Sept 27. Entry forms may be obtained by calling 464-5830, or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. For additional information call 264-7919