OLIVER · Civic Light Opera

PAPPA TARAHUMARA · Meany Theater

STRINGS OF WONDER · NW Puppet Center

THE TWILIGHT ZONE LIVE ON STAGE · Theater Schmeater

ONE WEEK ONLY

NEW MILLENNIUM TAP DANCE REVUE III · Kirkland Performance Center

CLOSING THIS WEEK

THE ARTISTS AT GERTRUDE STEIN'S AND ALICE B'S· Freehold

BOOGIE OOGIE FEVER · Cabaret de Paris

EDDIE PAUL REX · Fremont Palace

THE FAGGOT MUSEUM · Michael Whistler

THE GRAND HOTEL · 5th Ave

HUSK · Susy Schneider

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM · Pacific Northwest Ballet

THE TAMING OF THE SHREW · Penthouse

OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

THE ARTISTS AT GERTRUDE STEIN'S AND ALICE B'S

Set yerself kerplunk down in Gertrude and Alice's salon, alongside Ernest Hemingway and Pablo Picasso, and see what ensues. Directed by Peter James Cirino. Freehold's East Hall Theater, 1529 10th Ave, 720-7048. Thurs-Sat at 8, through Oct 2. $10.

BEAUTIFUL AND SHINING LIKE ASPHALT

The clever and talented Gregory Hischak (slam poet and editor of the zine Farm Pulp) offers words for the stage in this collection of "dialogues, disconnects, and misunderstandings" performed by Theatre Under the Influence. Union Garage Performance Space, 1418 10th Ave at Pike, 720-1942. Thurs-Sat at 8, through Oct 9. $10.

CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF

Tennessee Williams' sex-heated drama ssssizzles up Theater Schmeater. Meow. It's free if you're under 18. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 324-5801. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun Oct 3 & Oct 17 at 2, through Oct 23. $12. See review this issue.

A CHORUS LINE

If you don't know what I mean by "tits and ass," you should probably haul yours to this re-staging of the 1975 Broadway musical classic, taken on by Seattle's Repertory Actors Theatre (ReAct). Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 364-3283. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, through Oct 10. $12-$24.

EDDIE PAUL REX

The comedians who brought you Happy Panties don overalls to tell the tender story of hillbillies gone wrong -- Greek tragedy wrong, in fact. It's a hillbilly retelling of Oedipus Rex, and this time the Greek chorus sounds suspiciously like a jug band. Fremont Palace, 3509 Fremont Ave N (Empty Space Theatre), 669-4075. Thurs-Sun at 8, through Oct 3. $10.

THE FAGGOT MUSEUM

Michael Whistler's tribute to stereotypes -- from "the hyper, dramatic, musical comedy queen to the effete collector of antique earthenware." "Keen witted, big hearted, seamless and, above all, honest, The Faggot Museum may just be the yardstick by which all proceeding Gay Plays are measured." (Adrian Ryan) Theatre Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, 985-9157. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 4, through Oct 2. $12/$10.

THE GOLDEN CHILD

Tradition and trendiness clash in David Henry Hwang's family planning play. When Andrew learns his wife is pregnant, he is visited by the ghost of his mother, who reminds him of his ancestors in China. The story of Andrew's grandfather's conversion to Westernism ensues. David Hwang won the 1988 Tony, and Golden Child has been described as "sharply comic." Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center, Second & Mercer St, 443-2222. Tues-Sun at 7:30, Sat & Sun at 2, through Oct 30. $10-$29.

THE GRAND HOTEL

Rendezvous: Berlin, 1928. The hotel teems with lost souls and deal-makers. Enter: the famous ballerina, Elizaveta Grushinskaya (Liliane Montevecchi). Let the dancing begin. 5th Avenue Theatre, Fifth & Jackson, 292-ARTS. Tues-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 & 8, Sun at 2 & 7:30, through Oct 3. $19-$50.

HUSK

Shy office temp Margaret has been consigned to a psych ward for committing a murder of which she has no memory. Talented monologist Susy Schneider plays Margaret and her alter personalities in this psychological mystery that promises a "stunning denouement." On The Boards, 100 W Roy, 217-9888. Thurs-Sun at 8, through Oct 3. $10/$12.

Late Night Catechism

And the nun goes on. Somebody really likes cute Catholics. This is an evening of audience participation and interactive improv theater: think Sister Windy crossed with Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All for You. ACT, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, extended for eternity. $24.50-$29.50.

OLIVER

A touching tale about a malnourished orphan child sent through the grueling London underground where, aside from lice, he also picks up pickpocketing tips -- with your favorite songs such as "Where is Love," "Consider Yourself," and "As Long As He Needs Me," sung by Seattle's talented Civic Light Opera. Jane Addams Theater, 11051 34th NE, 363-2809. Thurs-Sat at 8; Sun at 2:30, through Oct 23. $16-$20.

ORPHANS

Remember The Boxcar Children? Orphans runs along the same lines: Two brothers, Treat and Phillip, live an edgy existence, parentless in a mean, mean city. When the brothers kidnap drunk businessman Harold, they find a parent figure who "heralds encouragement and hope." Freedom Hall, 3815 Fifth Ave NE, 841-2521. Thurs-Sat at 8; Sun at 7, through Oct 9. $12 ($2 off with donation of a pair of clean socks or clean blanket).

*PAPPA TARAHUMARA

One of Japan's most cutting-edge performance groups, Pappa Tarahumara performs Hiroshi Koike's Spring Day, a multi-media dance theater piece that probes the traditional idea of spring to reveal its darker underpinnings. Written in poetic, multi-layered text, with a cunning set of white fiberglass that moves as the characters move between reality and fantasy, this U.S. premiere promises to be worth a look. Meany Theater, UW Campus, NE 41st & 15th Ave NE, 543-4880. Thurs-Sun at 8, through Oct 2. $28.

QUILTERS

The story of pioneer women who packed it all up to follow their dreams, this collection of stories and songs is sure to keep you in stitches when it's not smothering you in sentiment. Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. Wed-Thurs at 7:30, Fri at 8, Sat at 2 & 8, through Oct 9. $14-$22.

THE ROYAL FAMILY

A stage family from Broadway's golden age brings nostalgic fun to the Intiman, in this revival of George S. Kaufman and Edna Ferber's theatrical classic. Intiman Playhouse, Seattle Center, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. Sun, Tues & Wed at 7; Thurs, Fri & Sat at 8; Sat-Sun 2 matinees, through Nov 14. $10-$39.

SIDE MAN

Described by The New York Times as "sentimental and darkly funny" -- which translates to "snarky" in our book -- Side Man follows a family falling apart because of a father's obsession. ACT's performance is directed by Mladen Kiselov. ACT, Kreielsheimer Place, Seventh Ave & Union St, 292-7676. Tues-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, some matinees, through Oct 17. $10-$40. See review this issue.

STRINGS OF WONDER

The photo accompanying the press release for Strings of Wonder shows leading Chinese marionettist Huang Yi Que in a white suit, invigorating a very charming-looking monkey wearing a yellow Communist scarf. Huang is renowned worldwide for his abilities; now nearly 60, he himself may be the wonder. Northwest Puppet Center, 9123 15th Ave NE, 523-2579. Fri at 7:30; Sat-Sun at 1 & 3, through Oct 24. $6.50-$8.50.

THE TAMING OF THE SHREW

A loudmouthed bitch gets her ass kicked but good in what some have called Shakespeare's funniest comedy. Sylvan Grove Outdoor Theater, Stevens Way on the UW Campus, 547-6495. Wed-Fri at 3, Sun at 2, through Oct 3. $5.

THUGS

Thugs, a Kennedy Center American College Theater Festival finalist for Best New Play, combines an enthusiastic assassin, her lackadaisical partner, and a missing 19-year-old girl who may or may not have been abducted by aliens in this darkly comic Seattle debut. Produced by Dark House Theatre. Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave, 522-2641. Thurs-Sat at 8, through Oct 9. $8/$10.

DANCE

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM

Yawn. Oh, hello -- another PNB season kicks off with a dreamy Balanchine classic, fresh from a tour in London, with Renaissance sets. Seattle Center Opera House, 301 Mercer St, 292-ARTS. Thurs-Fri at 7:30, Sat at 2 & 7:30, Sun at 1, through Oct 3. $16.50-$100.

NEW MILLENNIUM TAP DANCE REVUE III

If you just gotta see a big dance show this week, but you don't want to pony up for Riverdance, check out producer Tim Hickey's "high energy dance and vaudeville production." Kirkland Performance Center, 350 Kirkland Ave, 425-893-9900. Thurs-Sat at 7:30; Sat-Sun matinees at 2, this week only. $13.50-$18.50.

RIVERDANCE

The Celtic phenomenon that outdid Enya arrives on Seattle's stage. The sets are huge, the music is shrill, and the taps are deafening; buy tickets for grandma now. Paramount, 911 Pine St, 292-2787. Tues-Fri at 8; Sat at 2 & 8; Sun at 2 & 7:30, through Oct 10. $30-$65.

FESTIVALS, CABARETS, & COMEDY

IMPROSIA

Character-driven improv based on audience suggestions. Wit's End, 770 N 34th St, tickets at the door. Sat at 9:30, through Oct 15. $7.

Julie Cascioppo Experience

Songs and characters you may grow to love.The Pink Door, Pike Place Market, 1919 Post Alley, 443-3241. Tues at 8:30 & 11. No cover.

BOOGIE OOGIE OOGIE: A DISCO MUSICAL

"There just has to be some logical explanation of why two of the cleverest satirical minds in Seattle theater would stoop to producing an embarrassingly mindless 1970s disco parody." (Adrian Ryan) Cabaret de Paris, Rainier Square, 1333 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. Thurs at 8, Fri-Sat at 8:30, dinner from 6:30-7:45, extended through Oct 2. Dinner & show $40, show only $16.

FEEL YOU UP

A self-help seminar parody: Humor is the best remedy, you know. Ensemble improv with audience participation. Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. Wed at 8, through Oct 27. $5.

*TEATRO ZINZANNI

Three hours of fancy food and thrilling spectacle from the world over. Now featuring body-juggling brothers from France and the jaw-dropping Kevin Kent. Seattle Center, 222 Mercer St, 281-7788 ext 700 or 292-ARTS. Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 6:30, extended through Dec 8. $88.

*THREE DOLLAR BILL

Seattle's original gay/lesbian/bisexual stand-up comedy night is still standing in its second year. Comedy Underground, 222 S Min St, 324-8025. Tues at 9. $6.

LATE NIGHT

THE A.M. CABARET

Amoral entertainment for insomniacs; promising naked poetry, music, strippers, and drag queens. You may think you're dreaming. Coffee Messiah, 1554 E Olive Way, 860-7377. Sat from 2-4 am. $5.

DISGRUNTLED BIT PLAYERS

Sketch comedy so sadomasochistic that timid Seattle audiences may be forced to bite their tongues to draw blood. Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 729-4839. Fri-Sat at 11, through Oct 8. $5.

Jet City Improv

Improv comedy and music based on audience suggestions. Ethnic Cultural Theater, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 781-3879. Fri-Sat at 10:30.

SPIN THE BOTTLE

Annex's late-night performance is a slumgullion of juggling, dance, singing, and silhouettes, cultivated by the finely tuned Bret Fetzer. Annex Theater, 1916 Fourth Ave, 729-0933. First Fri of every month. No reservations. $5.

Theater Sports

Improv comedy with a competitive edge, brought to you by Unexpected Productions. Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. Fri-Sat at 10:30, $9. Sun at 7, $5.

TWILIGHT ZONE LIVE ON STAGE

Theater Schmeater presents two new episodes: "The Sixteen Millimeter Shrine" and "A Kind of a Stopwatch." Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit between Pike and Pine, 324-5801. Fri-Sat at 11, through Oct 23. $8, under 18 is free.

CALLS

FUSION DANCE COMPANY

Auditions for the upcoming season will be held Oct 17 from 1:30-3:30 pm at Dance on Capitol Hill, 340 E 15th Ave, 325-6697. Dancers in the following idioms are encouraged to apply: African, ballet, hiphop, jazz, modern, and tap.

THEATER SCHMEATER

General auditions for the 2000 season will be held on Sat Oct 9 & Sun Oct 10 from 9:30 am to 5:30 pm. Please call 324-5621 for information.