OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

AIN'T MISBEHAVIN'
One weekend only. A tour of the Fats Waller songbook and Harlem's heyday. Pacific Jazz Institute at Dimitriou's Jazz Alley, 2033 Sixth Ave, 441-9729. $24.50. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri–Sat at 7:30 and 9:30 pm, Sun at 6:30 pm.

A(N IMPROVISED) CHRISTMAS CAROL
The name says it all. Unexpected Productions at Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. $14. Fri–Sat at 8, Sun at 7 pm. Through Dec 24.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER
The scruffy bad kids invade a local church's Nativity play and everyone learns the true meaning of Christmas and stuff. Based on the book by Barbara Robinson. Seattle Public Theater at the Bathhouse, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 524-1300. $12–$20. Thurs–Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 24.

BLACK NATIVITY
The annual gospel song play by Langston Hughes that makes atheists wish they could believe. With Reverend Dr. Samuel B. McKinney and Felicia Loud, directed by Jacqueline Moscou. Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $10–$42. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm, Tue–Wed at 7:30 pm. Through Dec 24.

CATS
The first local, professional production of the popular—and critically dismissed—Broadway hit. Village Theatre, 303 Front St N, Issaquah, 425-392-2202. $24–$48. Thurs–Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm, Tues–Wed at 8 pm. Through Dec 31.

A CHILD'S CHRISTMAS IN WALES
Final week. The lovely Dylan Thomas poem, staged. Stone Soup Theatre, 4035 Stone Way N, 633-1883. $12. Fri-Sat at 3 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 3 pm. Through Dec 17.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL
See Theater News. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $15–$37. Thurs–Fri at 6 and 8:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7 pm, Sun at 1 and 4 pm, Tues–Wed at 6 and 8:30 pm. Through Dec 25.

CLOUD TECTONICS
Final week. "Aníbal, a baggage slinger at LAX, picks up the mysterious, horny, and very pregnant Celestina, around whom time slows to a crawl. Their strange one-night/years-long courtship is sensual, but director Aimée Bruneau keeps the atmosphere innocent and open, charming us into the play's fantasy. José Rivera's script is richly poetic, sometimes carelessly so. It is easier to believe in warped laws of physics than muddy characters." (Brendan Kiley) Capitol Hill Arts Center, 1621 12th Ave, 800-838-3006. $18 adv/$20 DOS. Thurs–Sat at 7:30 pm, Mon at 7:30 pm. Through Dec 17.

THE COMPENDIUM OF NASTINESS
Extended. "This twisted Gothic romance, performed in a velvet-lined garage (capacity: 14), has been extended for the third time. Writer/director Ki Gottberg invites the audience into her kitchen for champagne before leading them downstairs, where actor Elizabeth Kenny jumps between a dozen characters with crude puppets, including a sodomy-happy she-devil, a sweet young naïf, and a junkie monk." (Brendan Kiley) The Womb (AKA Ki Gottberg's Garage), tickets and directions available through 800-838-3006. $15. Fri–Sat at 8:30 pm. Through Jan 27.

DEFENDING THE CAVEMAN
Ongoing. A mid-'90s relic about the supposed prehistoric propensities of the two sexes. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $39.50–$45. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 3 pm. Tickets available through Dec 31.

THE DINA MARTINA CHRISTMAS SHOW
"A sixth-string 'celebrity' performing a solo Christmas song-and-dance show is sad; warp that celebrity beyond the ken of clinical psychology and you've got the heartbreakingly hilarious Dina Martina, an atonal crooner with the grace of a hippo on roller skates. She is the soul and flower of surreal mindfuckery." (Brendan Kiley) Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 448-8464. $18. Thurs–Sun at 8 pm. Through Dec 31.

DINNER & DREAMS
Ongoing. The dinner-theater extravaganza, with European-style cirque performances as garnish. Teatro ZinZanni, 2301 Sixth Ave, 802-0015. $99. Thurs–Sat at 6:30 pm, Sun at 5:30 pm (some additional Wed shows).

DR. BRAIN
Final week. Short farces on medical themes: Viagra overdoses, etc. By Tom Scanlon. Waffle Theater at Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave, 309-8947. $5–$10. Fri at 6 and 8 pm, Sat at 4:30 pm. Through Dec 17.

EVERYXMASSTORYEVERTOLD
A holiday show mashup. Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way NE, 352-8291. $10–$15. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 24.

FELLOW PASSENGERS TO THE GRAVE
See Theater News. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 800-838-3006. $20. Thurs–Sun at 7:30 pm, Tues–Wed at 7:30 pm. Through Dec 23.

FORBIDDEN XMAS
See Theater News. Empty Space Theatre, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500. $20–$30. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri–Sat at 8 pm, Wed at 7:30 pm. Through Dec 23.

HAM FOR THE HOLIDAYS: DESPERATE SPUDDWIVES
The seventh of the "Ham" comedy shows by Lisa Koch and Peggy Platt (Dos Fallopia). Theatre Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, 325-6500. $20–$22. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 4 and 8 pm, Sun at 4 pm, Wed at 7:30 pm. Through Dec 24.

HOLIDAY TRIPLE X
Final week. Three new plays (by Dickey Nesenger, Brooke Rogers, and Regan deVictoria) featuring the same four characters. Live Girls! Theater 2220 NW Market St, www.brownpapertickets.com. $7–$10. Fri–Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 16

KIKI & HERB: THE RESURRECTION TOUR
One night only. "On purely musical terms, Kiki & Herb shows can be astonishing, thanks both to the promiscuous repertoire and the duo's formidable musicality, without which their shtick might stall at the level of camp. But what propels Kiki & Herb into the stratosphere—and leaves their growing legion of fans in tear-streaked hysterics—is the duo's dark-as-death backstory, which the increasingly gin-soaked Kiki laces between numbers." (David Schmader) Moore Theatre, 1932 Second Ave, 292-2787. $19–$34. Sat Dec 17 at 8 pm.LATE NITE CATECHISM

Ongoing. "The real point is not the adult-catechism monologue, but the script's gaps, in which Sister (Aubrey Manning) dispenses tissues to cover salacious displays of flesh and kitschy prizes to reward the dumbstruck targets of her improvisations. Your name, your background, and your behavior become the crux of the performance." (Annie Wagner) Cloud 9 Productions at ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $24.50–$29.50. Fri–Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm.

LITTLE WOMEN
"Most people know Little Women as a single novel, but it was originally published in two volumes, and Book-It has adapted just the first part. What this means for the play: Beth doesn't cast her eyes heavenward and delicately expire (thank god)—but without a sobering death to close the play, the end is painfully sugary. This didn't bother the little girl with glasses and white-blond curls who sat in front of me. The minute the lights came up, she proclaimed Little Women "the best play I ever saw!" The production (directed by Allison Narver) is actually quite sharp for a Book-It show, thanks to the energy of the largely youthful cast and production staff." (Annie Wagner) Book-It at Center House Theatre, Seattle Center, 216-0833. $15–$30. Thurs–Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm, Wed at 7:30 pm. Through Dec 23.

MAMMA MIA!
Final week. A Greek island, ABBA—what more do you want? Paramount Theatre, 911 Pine St, 292-2787. $25–$70. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm. Through Dec 17.

MENOPAUSE THE MUSICAL™
Ongoing. "What makes this toweringly formulaic crap about dusty uteruses even moderately bearable? The consummate cast was ferocious and fast. Ninety tight minutes of an insane, colorful, and sometimes actually laugh-worthy little train wreck that stops just before it starts to hurt." (Adrian Ryan) ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $45. Thurs–Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 4 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm, Tues–Wed at 8 pm. Tickets available through Dec 31.

KRAPP'S LAST TAPE
Final week. Jerry Lloyd revives his take on the Beckett play, with Krapp as Richard Nixon. Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave, 353-7556. $15 suggested donation. Fri–Mon at 8 pm. Through Dec 19.

RESTORATION COMEDY
See review this issue. Directed by Sharon Ott. Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center, 443-2222. $10–$46. Thurs–Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat–Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm, Tues-Wed at 7:30 pm. Through Jan 7.

THE SANTALAND DIARIES
The classic David Sedaris stories, performed. Seattle Public Theatre at the Bathhouse, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 524-1300. $12–$20. Thurs–Sat at 9 pm, Sun at 7:30 pm, Wed at 9 pm. Through Dec 24.

SEATTLE NEUTRINO PROJECT
One weekend only. A short movie based on audience suggestions is filmed, edited, and projected in real time. Capitol Hill Arts Center, 1621 12th Ave, 800-838-3006. $10. Fri–Sat at 10 pm.

SISTER'S CHRISTMAS CATECHISM
One week only. Sister from Late Nite Catechism investigates what happened to the Magi's gold. Kirkland Performance Center, 350 Kirkland Ave, 425-893-9900. $10–$24. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri–Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm.

SLEEPING BEAUTY
The old tale rewritten by Charles Way to include music and new characters. Seattle Children's Theatre, 201 Thomas St, 441-3322. $15–$30. Fri at 7 pm, Sat–Sun at 2 and 5:30 pm. Through Feb 4.

THE SNOWFLAKE FACTORY
Opening. An evil foreman named Mr. Slurch, a factory of cold, and the invention of the snowflake in an "icy gothic wonderland." Conceived and directed by (and starring) Jonah Von Spreecken. Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave, 329-2629. $7–$13. Opening Thurs Dec 15 at 7 pm. Fri–Sun at 7 pm, Wed at 7 pm. Through Dec 23.

THE SOUND OF MUSIC
Final week. Nuns 'n' Nazis. Plus: singing! 5th Avenue Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave, 292-2787. $19–$71. Thurs–Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 1:30 and 7 pm, Tues–Wed at 7:30 pm. Through Dec 18.

SNAPSHOTS
A workshop production by Stephen Schwartz (Godspell, Wicked) who will be in residence at the Village Theatre. Village Theatre, 120 Front St N, Issaquah, 425-392-2202. $20–$25. Thurs–Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7 pm. Through Dec 23.

STONES IN HIS POCKETS
"Two capable actors play over a dozen characters in this Irish comedy (meaning funny with pathos) about Hollywood jackasses who invade an Irish village to film The Quiet Valley and the funnier, more humane local extras. Stones isn't life-changing, but it's sharp, funny, and performed in a bar that serves local porter, which is the next best thing to quaffing Guinness in Kerry." (Brendan Kiley) Capitol Hill Arts Center, 1621 12th Ave, 388-0569. $15 adv/$18 DOS. Thurs–Sat at 7 pm. Through March 11.

THE TRIAL OF EBENEZER SCROOGE
Scrooge sues Marley and the Christmas ghosts for kidnapping and assault. Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $19–$30, Wednesday by donation. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Wed at 7:30 pm. Through Dec 30.

'TWAS A NIGHT OF SHITTY THEATER
Final week. See Theater News. Open Circle Theater, 429 Boren Ave N, 382-4250. $10. Thurs–Sat at 8 pm. Through Dec 17.

VOICES OF CHRISTMAS
OMG! SKITS and MUSIC about CHRISTMASTIME! EEEEEE! ArtsWest Playhouse, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $12–$28. Thurs–Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat–Sun at 3 and 7:30 pm, Tues–Wed at 7:30 pm. Through Dec 26.

WONDERFUL LIFE: THE HOLIDAYS ON CAPITOL HILL
See Stranger Suggests, page 29. WET at the Little Theatre, 608 19th Ave E, 800-838-3006. $10–$15. Thurs–Mon at 8 pm. Through Dec 23.

XTL
One night only. Teams of local actors competing. Xtreme Theater League at Capitol Hill Arts Center, 1621 12th Ave, www.brownpapertickets.com. $5. Tue Dec 20 at 10 pm.

DANCE

EXCERPTS FROM THE NUTCRACKER
One weekend only. Such a descriptive title! Cornish Junior Dance Company at Shorecrest High School, 15343 25th Ave NE, 325-6500. $10–$12. Sat–Sun at 3 and 7:30 pm.

NUTCRACKER
See review this issue. McCaw Hall, 321 Mercer St, 441-2424, $18–$102. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 1 and 5:30 pm, Wed at 7:30. Through Dec 28.

THE NUTCRACKER
Homage to the 1892 original, with costumes from Ukraine. International Ballet Theatre at Meydenbauer Theatre, 11100 NE Sixth St, Bellevue, 425-284-0444. $15–$35. Fri at 7 pm, Sat–Sun at 2 and 7 pm, Tue–Wed at 7 pm. Through Dec 23.

THE NUTCRACKER PUPPET BALLET
Final week. See review this issue. Carter Family Marionettes at Northwest Puppet Center, 9123 15th Ave NE, 523-2579. $7.50–$9.50. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat–Sun at 1 and 3 pm. Through Dec 18.

A TAP DANCE CHRISTMAS CAROL
Final week. "Dickens's beloved characters lay down iron under Scrooge's disapproving glare." Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 325-6500. $16–$24. Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 18.

CABARET

ATOMIC BOMBSHELLS BURLESQUEOngoing. "This new—and, so I hear, improved—revue includes routines by bad prison girls, a sexy '50s housewife, and other tropes of sexual nostalgia. Grab your smoking jacket and order a dry martini." (Brendan Kiley) Mirabeau Room, 529 Queen Anne Ave N, www.themirabeauroom.com. $12. Thurs at 10 pm.

COLUMBIA CITY CABARET
Sexy aerialists, burlesquers, comedians, drag kings and queens, et cetera! Columbia City Theatre, 4916 Rainier Ave S, no reservations required. $10–$15 (21+ w/ID required). Fri at 9 pm. Through Dec 30.

MUSICA VITAE! CABARET
Performances by Wade Madsen, Godfrey Daniels, Tango Trio, Salsa Girls, and more! Century Ballroom, 915 E Pine St, 325-6500. $25–$60. Sat, dinner at 6, show at 7:30 pm. Through Dec 17.

NO, NO, NOEL!
A Christmas cabaret revue. Crepe de Paris, 1333 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. $20–$55. Tues–Thurs at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through Dec 29.

THERE'S ALWAYS ONE MORE SONG TO SING
Shelly Burch's cabaret. Crepe de Paris, 1333 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. $20–$55. Fri–Sat at 8 pm. Through Dec 31.

IMPROV & COMEDY

REBECCA CORRY at Comedy Underground, 222 Main St, 800-325-7328. $15 (21+ w/ID required). Fri at 8:30 and 10:30 pm. JOHN KENNAR at Giggles Comedy Club, 5220 Roosevelt Way NE, 526-5653. $12. Fri–Sat at 8:30 and 10 pm. JET CITY IMPROV at Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way NE, 325-6500. $8–$10. Fri at 10:30 pm, Sat at 8 and 10:30 pm. Fri–Sat at 8:30 and 10 pm. THEATRESPORTS at Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. $8–$12. Sun at 7 pm. UNHINGED at Mirabeau Room, 529 Queen Anne Ave N. $6. Wed at 8 pm.

THE BRAIN TRUST IMPROV
One night only. L'improv. Rendezvous, 2230 Second Ave, 441-5823. $10. Sun Dec 18 at 8 pm.

LATE NIGHT

CARLOTTA'S LATE NIGHT WING DING
Final week. "Late night talk show/comedy matron Carlotta Sue Philpott is back, along with her supporting cast of eccentrics, from a Cuban Amway salesman to Tennesseans who love Jesus, coleslaw, and George W. (in that order)." (Brendan Kiley) Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, www.brownpapertickets.com. $12 adv/$10 DOS. Fri–Sat at 10:30 pm. Through Dec 17.

SPECIAL EVENTS

CLAY JENKINSON
One night only. Jenkinson portrays Teddy Roosevelt. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave, no reservations required. Free. Thurs Dec 15 at 7 pm.

FIESTA NAVIDEÑA
One weekend only. Spanish song and dance and some Sephardic music. Flamenco Arts Northwest at Ethnic Cultural Theatre, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 932-4067. $12–$15. Sat–Sun at 8 pm.

THE NEW THREAT TO HUMANITY... THE LACK THEREOF!
One weekend only. Vignettes performed by BABES Network, "a sisterhood of women facing HIV together." Live Girls! 2220 NW Market, www.brownpapertickets.com. $7–$10. Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 4 pm.

OPEN BOX: AN OPEN MIC FOR PLAYWRIGHTS
One night only. Play readings. Rendezvous, 2320 Second Ave, 441-5823. $3. Sat Dec 17 at 4:30 pm.

SEATTLE CENTER CELEBRATES WINTER SOLSTICE
One weekend only. Crafts, storytellers, fire performance. Seattle Center House, seattlewintersolstice@yahoo.com. Free. Sat–Sun at 1:30 pm.

SEATTLE THEATRE GROUP OPEN HOUSE
One night only. Tours, comedy, music, and more. Paramount Theatre, 911 Pine St, 467-5510. Free. Wed Dec 21 at 4 pm.