THEATER LISTINGS

OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

LA BĂŠTE

Final week. See review this issue. ArtsWest Playhouse, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339, $10–$22. Thurs–Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 3 pm. Through April 29.

recommended CHERRY, CHERRY, LEMON

See review this issue. Theater Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, www.ticketwindowonline.com. $7–$12. Thurs–Sat at 8 pm. Through May 13.

recommended THE COMPENDIUM OF NASTINESS

“A twisted Gothic romance with Freudian undertones performed in a velvet-lined garage, including a junkie monk, a sodomy-happy she-devil, and terrorist servants.” (Brendan Kiley) The Womb, tickets and directions available at 800-838-3006 or www.brownpapertickets.com. $20. Fri–Sat at 8:15 pm. Through May 13.

DEFENDING THE CAVEMAN

Ongoing. A mid-’90s relic about the supposed prehistoric propensities of the two sexes. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $39.50–$45. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 3 pm. Tickets available through May 28.

DINNER & DREAMS

Ongoing. The dinner-theater extravaganza, with European-style cirque performances as garnish. Teatro ZinZanni, 2301 Sixth Ave, 802-0015. $99–$125. Wed–Sat at 6:30 pm, Sun at 5:30 pm.

HAMLET: A COMIC MASTERPIECE

Final week. “And let those that play your clowns speak no more than is set down for them: for there be of them that will themselves laugh, to set on some quantity of barren spectators to laugh too.” Cornish College of the Arts at Volunteer Park Stage. Free. Fri–Sun at 3:30 pm.

HONUS AND ME

A tale of self-confidence and baseball, featuring Stranger Genius Award–winner Gabriel Baron. Seattle Children’s Theatre, 201 Thomas St, 441-3322. $16–$31. Fri at 7 pm, Sat–Sun at 2 and 5:30 pm. Through June 11.

HOUSE OF MIRTH

Based on the novel by Edith Wharton, the woman who said: “The American landscape has no foreground and the American mind no background.” Book-It at Center House Theater, 305 Harrison St, 216-0833. $15–$30. Thurs–Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm, Wed at 7:30 pm. Through May 13.

HUMOR ME

Opening. An ensemble piece generated by MFA drama students about the whys and wherefores of humor. UW School of Drama at Penthouse Theatre, UW, 543-4880. $6–$13. Previews Sun and Tues at 7:30 pm. Opening Wed May 3 at 7:30 pm. Through May 14.

JUNIE B. JONES AND A LITTLE MONKEY BUSINESS

It sounds like a Belle and Sebastian song, but it’s actually a bright musical about a feisty kindergartner. Seattle Children’s Theatre, 201 Thomas St, 441–3322. $16–$31. Fri at 7 pm, Sat–Sun at 2 and 5:30 pm. Through June 18.

LATE NITE CATECHISM

Ongoing. “The real point is not the adult-catechism monologue, but the script’s gaps, in which Sister Aubrey Manning dispenses tissues to cover salacious displays of flesh and kitschy prizes to reward the dumbstruck targets of her improvisations.” (Annie Wagner) Cloud 9 Productions at ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $24.50–$29.50. Thurs–Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Tickets available through August 27.

recommended LOBBY HERO

Final week. “Cops in love, a motor-mouthed security guard, and moral dilemmas stacking up like Jenga blocks. Kenneth Lonergan’s script is tight and tense and the four actors understand the script’s high-stakes drama and unexpected comic turns.” (Brendan Kiley) Seattle Public Theater at Bathhouse Theater, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 524-1300. $12–$20. Thurs–Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through April 30.

MARK TWAIN’S FINAL TOUR

Opening. Mr. Twain will touch on his 1879 lecture Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism, which ended with: “If you must gamble your lives sexually, don’t play a lone hand too much.” What a cad. SecondStory Repertory, 16587 NE 74th Street, Redmond, 425-881-6777. $18–$24. Opening Fri April 28 at 8:15 pm. Sat at 8:15 pm, Sun at 2:15 pm. Through May 7.

MEASURE FOR MEASURE

One weekend only. “He would not, but by gift of my chaste body to his concupiscible intemperate lust, release my brother.” Cornish College of the Arts at Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, 325-6500. $5–$8. Thurs–Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm.

MENOPAUSE THE MUSICAL™

Ongoing. “What makes this toweringly formulaic crap about dusty uteruses even moderately bearable? The consummate cast was ferocious and fast.” (Adrian Ryan) ACT Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $45. Thurs–Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 4 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm, Tues–Wed at 8 pm. Tickets available through May 28.

recommended MISS AMERICA: A FUGUE BORN IN 1969

“Miss America opens with a Dostoyevskian pile of loose threads—the characters are all friends, spouses, or acquaintances—and we watch them weave together, their individual crises coming to a head in the concussion grenades and broken glass of the Battle in Seattle.” (Brendan Kiley) Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $18, under 18 free, Thurs by donation. Thurs–Sat at 8. Through May 20.

MISS WITHERSPOON

Previewing. The Christopher Durang comedy about the afterlife that got dissed by the Pulitzer committee.A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $10–$54. Previews Fri–Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7:30 pm, Tues–Wed at 7:30 pm. Through May 28.

PATTY RED PANTS

Old friends, questioned girlhood, and a murdered child. Live Girls Theatre, 2220 NW Market St, 800-838-3006. $9–$12. Thurs–Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through May 7.

ROUNDING THIRD

See review this issue. Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $10–$46. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm, Tues–Wed at 7:30 pm. Through May 14.

RUMPLESTILTSKIN

Final week. A musical comedy for the kiddies. StoryBook Theater at Kirkland Performance Center, 350 Kirkland Ave, Kirkland, 425-893-9900. $7.50. Sat at 11 am, 1 and 3 pm, Sun at 1 and 3 pm. Through April 30.

recommended STONES IN HIS POCKETS

Extended. “This two-man show about Irish extras in a Hollywood movie is like a well-made sandwich—warm, charming, and full of cheese.” (Brendan Kiley) Capitol Hill Arts Center, 1621 12th Ave, 388-0569. $18–$20. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Sat at 7:30 pm. Through May 27.

THE SWAN

Final week. “Even Lyam White’s impressive physicalization of Bill the swan-man, with his honking and hissing and tumbling around the stage, cannot save the production from its own tedium.” (Brendan Kiley)Atlas Theatre at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 800-838-3006. $10–$12. Fri–Sat at 8 pm. Through April 29.

TARTUFFE

“Though all men believe me godly, the simple truth is, I’m a worthless creature.” Lee Center for the Arts, 901 12th Ave, 296-5360. $6–$10. Thurs–Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2:30 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 2:30 pm. Through May 7.

TOLD YOU ONCE (TOLD YOU A HUNDRED TIMES)

“The conceits are imaginative—a world where the wealthy hire personal narrators to shore up their conversations and the government subsidizes friends for poor children—but the main characters are drab.” (Brendan Kiley) Poisonous Toy Theater at Chamber Theater, 915 E Pine St, www.brownpapertickets.com. $12–$15. Fri–Sun at 8 pm. Through May 6.

TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE

A man spends Tuesdays watching his mentor die of Lou Gehrig’s disease and gets edified. Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, 443-2222. $10–$46. Thurs–Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm, Tues–Wed at 7:30 pm. Through May 7.

WHAT YOU SING MIGHT SAVE YOU

Final week. “The only reason to see What You Sing Might Save You is the songs—original compositions, familiar tunes with adapted lyrics, and straight-up covers. The members of Sissyfist, who read lines of movie dialogue off their music stands, can’t act; the framing device is a groaner. But if you want to see Nick Garrison in a wig, singing his heart out, go to Re-bar. Again.” (Annie Wagner) Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 233-9873. $18. Fri–Sun at 8 pm. Through April 30.

THE WHO’S TOMMY

Final week. See me, feel me, etc. UW School of Drama at Meany Hall, UW Campus, 543-4880. $6–$13. Thurs–Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through April 30.

WOMAN/GIRL

A 15-year-old starts dating her mother’s 33-year-old friend. Experimental Theatre Project at Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, www.brownpapertickets.com. $9–$15. Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 3 and 8 pm. Through May 6.

WRECK THE AIRLINE BARRIER

Final week. “It’s difficult to get purchase on Wreck the Airline Barrier—it’s a scattered, impressionistic collection of outsized caricatures and sharp lines that riff on God, bigotry, pop culture, and violence. And it takes place on an airplane. The script, by Adriano Shaplin, is a mess, ranging from brutally funny (“This next song is about how difficult it is to communicate with words; it’s dedicated to a friend of mine who committed suicide and didn’t leave a note”) to pleasantly surreal (“Once upon a time, you can’t always get what you want, in the Land of I’m Not Sure I Understand You, they put handcuffs on flowers”) to incantatory (“This goes out to all my New Age muthafuckas, all my plane-crash niggas, all my nigga niggas, all my white-trash Jerry Springer niggas” repeated over and over). Once the shock of the play’s vicious language and fractured surrealism take over, it gets funny. And then tedious. And then really tedious—the lines keep spilling out and Shaplin doesn’t know when to turn off the faucet.” (Brendan Kiley) Brownbox Theatre at Rainier Valley Cultural Center, 3515 S Alaska St, 325-6500. $12–$15. Fri–Sat at 9 pm. Through April 29.

DANCE

MAY DAY PYRAMID LOUNGE

One night only. Belly dance and other gyrations from Raqs Serpentine, Noor, and others.High Dive, 513 N 36th, 632-0212. Free. (21+ w/ID). Mon at 9 pm.

SCUBA

One weekend only. A triple bill by companies from Seattle (LAUNCH), Minneapolis (Hijack), and Philly (Leah Stein Dance Co.).Velocity MainSpace Theater, 915 E Pine St, 325-8773 ext.2. $10–$15. Fri–Sat at 8 pm.

CABARET

AMAZING GRACE REVIVAL: MAY DAY MAYHEM

One weekend only. Queer, heathen (probably communist) burlesque.A Flame Production at Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave, tickets at Babeland 707 E Pike St. $7–$10. Sun–Mon at 7 and 8:45 pm.

ARNALDO! DRAG CHANTEUSE

One night only. A benefit for Lifelong AIDS alliance. Dining Out for Life at Jubilante Restaurant, 205 Burnett Ave S, Renton, 425-226-1544. $5. Thurs at 7 pm.

BURLESQUE BEHIND THE PINK DOOR

With Paula the Swedish Housewife. Pink Door, 1919 Post Alley. No reservations required. $10. (21+ w/ID.) Sat at 10:30 pm. Through May 27.

CANCAN

One night only. Cancan dancers. Can Can Kitchen & Cabaret, 94 Pike St, 652-0832. Free. Sat at 7 pm.

SEATTLE FOLLIES

One night only. With Norm Stamper, Dave Meinert, and Reggie Watts.Town Hall Seattle, 1119 Eighth Ave, www.ticketweb.com. $13–$18. Thurs at 7:30 pm.

TREY PARKER’S CANNIBAL! THE MUSICAL GAY CABARET EDITION

The infamous slasher spoof by Trey Parker (of South Park) recast as gay cabaret dinner theater. “The most surprising, insane, and ultimately tragic thing about Cannibal! was the actual presence, in the actual audience, of the actual Trey Parker. Quiet, cordial, and extremely focused on whatever he was eating, Parker spent most of the evening not laughing, not smiling, and somehow not openly weeping.” (Lindy West) Thumpers, 1500 E Madison St, 328-3800. $15. Fri–Sat at 7 pm. Through May 13.

IMPROV & COMEDY

Big Show w/Stu Stuart at Comedy Underground, 222 Main St, 800-325-7328. $10. Thurs at 8:30 pm. Ron Osborne at Comedy Underground, 222 Main St, 800-325-7328. $15 (21+ w/ID required). Fri–Sat at 8:30 and 10:30 pm. Dan Cummings, John Sanders at Giggles Comedy Club, 5220 Roosevelt Way NE, 526-5653. $12. Fri–Sat at 8 and 10 pm. Jet City Improv at Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way NE, 325–6500. $8–$10. Fri at 10:30 pm. Sat at 8 and 10:30 pm. Mike Birbiglia at HUB Auditorium, UW, www.ticketswest.com. $5–$10. Thurs at 8 pm. Theatresports at Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. $8–$12. Fri–Sat at 10:30 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Comedy Night at Mirabeau Room, 529 Queen Anne Ave N, www.prokomedy.com. $5. Wed at 8 pm.

86’D

Improv actors from Jet City, Seattle goga, Live Girls, etc., in an improv “jam session.” Jerk Alert Productions at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 324-6328. $3. Sun at 8:30 pm. Through May 21.

STIMULUS

An improv show that “elicits a physiological or psychological response,” which just sounds weird. Jerk Alert Productions at Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 324-6328. $10. Sat at 10:30 pm. Through May 20.

LATE NIGHT

CUPCAKE

Extended. A dirty, drinky improv where two fellas enact the audience’s “wildest dreams.” Wing-It Productions at Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way NE, www.wingitpresents.com. $5. Sat at midnight. Through May 28.

VERBATIM VERBOTEN

Final week. Word-for-word readings of celebrities’ illicitly recorded conversations and correspondence. Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way NE, 624-4455. $10. Fri at midnight. Through April 28.

THE TWILIGHT ZONE: LIVE!

The late-night hit returns with “Third From the Sun” and “A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain.” Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 325-6500. $12. Fri–Sat at 11 pm. Through May 20.

SPECIAL EVENTS

MASQUERADE: A SILENT AUCTION AND FUNDRAISER

One night only. ARC Dance Space, 9250 14th Ave NW, 352-0799. $30. (21+ w/ID). Sat at 7 pm.

PSYCHIC THEATER

One night only. Warning: Contains nuts. Spiritus at Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave. $15. Thurs at 7:30 pm.

RAT CITY ROLLERGIRLS

One night only. Hot roller-on-derby action. Magnuson Park Hanger 30, 7400 Sand Point Way NE, www.brownpapertickets.com. $8–$25. Sat at 6 pm.

WORLD DANCE DAY

One day only. Free classes in ballet, aerial, Jamaican folk, Tai Chi, and other stuff.ARC Dance Space, 9250 14th Ave NW, 352-0799. Free. Sat from 10 am–4 pm.