OPENING THIS WEEK

BALD FACED LIE · Open Circle Theatre

CIRCUS PEOPLE · Union Garage

HARVEY · Taproot Theatre

THE HOSTAGE · Theater Schmeater

JE M'APPELLE PABLO · Union Garage

LE GENDRE: PERFORMANCE · On the Boards

ONE WEEK ONLY

FORGIVENESS · UW Meany Theater

PLAYLAND · Richard Hugo House

PONCHO "PICKS" · Seattle Repertory Theatre

RICHARD LEWIS · Giggles

CLOSING THIS WEEK

BASEBALL STORIES · Theatre off Jackson

OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

APPLE TO GRANDMA

Holland's Speeltheater comes to Seattle along with some trippy puppets in a tale of moons, caterpillars, and a big, tasty apple. Seattle Children's Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. Fri at 7, Sat-Sun at 2 and 5:30, through April 16. $8.25-$20.50.

BASEBALL STORIES

Book-It Repertory addresses the quintessential American pastime with a performance featuring the writings of award-winning historian Doris Kearns Goodwin and W. P. Kinsella (author of the beloved baseball fantasy Shoeless Joe). If done right, the blend of Kearns' nostalgia and Kinsella's "magic realism" should entertain even those who yawn at the sport. Theatre off Jackson, 409 Seventh S, 216-0833. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, through April 2. $13-$15.

CIRCUS PEOPLE

Local performer Heidi Heimarck's full-length play has been in development for close to two years, and the Theatre Babylon folks are damn excited about it. It's the story of a young woman who experiences the serendipity of life for the first time when she joins the Big Top and meets the Bearded Lady, the Bird Girl, and other kooks who can't hold down day jobs. Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. Thurs-Sat at 8, through April 22. $12, Thurs is pay-what-you-will.

FIRST NIGHT

Those deli theatre people, RipTide, close their season of food and entertainment with a romantic comedy about New Year's Eve, a video clerk, and an ex-nun. The play is probably not the delicious porn it could be, but the gourmet buffet should satisfy your appetite. Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki Ave SW, 405-8433. Fri and Sat dinner at 6:30, show at 7:30 (one Sun show on April 16), through April 16. $22.

FORGIVENESS

An intriguing collaboration: Various Eastern theatrical traditions (including Peking opera, Japanese noh theatre, and shamanistic dance) commingle the histories and shared, unconscious prejudices of China, Korea, and Japan in a redemptive work inspired by a ghost story about revenge. Director Chen Shi-Zheng interweaves East Asian music styles with slide projections and movement to create a "visual tone poem" in this West Coast premiere. UW Meany Theater, University of Washington campus at 15th Ave NE between 40th and 41st, 543-4880. Fri-Sat March 31-April 1 only, at 8. $28.

HARVEY

Mary Chase's sentimental bit of whimsy from the '40s always seems to ache for Jimmy Stewart no matter how polished the production, but Taproot Theatre Co. is going to try anyway, with Artistic Director Scott Nolte as lead eccentric, Elwood P. Dowd. Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. Wed-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sat matinee at 2, through April 29. $16-$24.

THE HOSTAGE

Brendan Behan's brazen take on morality in Ireland receives a staging from Susanna Wilson. Raucous song, dance, and comedy combine with Behan's singular political commentary set in an Irish brothel. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit, 324-5801. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun matinees on Sun April 16 and 30 at 2, through May 6. $12.

KING HEDLEY II

Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright August Wilson continues his long-standing allegiance to a lucky Seattle Rep with this world premiere production, a sequel of sorts to his celebrated Seven Guitars. Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center, 443-2222. Tues-Sun at 7:30, Sat-Sun matinees at 2, through April 8. $10-$42.

Late Night Catechism

An evening of audience participation and interactive improv theater: think Sister Windy crossed with Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All for You. ACT, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, extended for eternity. $24.50-$29.50.

LEAR

Shakespeare's tragedy as acid trip. Derek Horton's production casts an 11-year-old as the doomed monarch, and three different actresses as his faithful Cordelia, then sets them all adrift in Consolidated Works' 9,000-square-foot space done up "Mexican Day-of-the-Dead style." Consolidated Works, 410 Terry Ave N, 860-5245. Thurs-Sun at 8, through April 9. $12-$14. Reviewed this issue, page 33.

THE MIDWIFE'S APPRENTICE

Constance Congdon (Dog Opera, Tales of the Lost Formicans) adapts Karen Cushman's award-winning book about the adventures and longings of a medieval orphan girl. "Capable players, and you couldn't ask for a better physical production, but Congdon has not actively opened up the story for the stage. The heroine's victories are page-bound." (Steve Wiecking) Charlotte Martin Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. Fri at 7, Sat-Sun at 2 and 5:30, through April 8. $13.50-$20.50.

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

In which a man with a pizza-face regales a goosey soprano with pop show tunes, and hopes that smoke machines and a falling chandelier will distract audiences from the inherent disposability of the entire production. Based on attendance records, the freak was right. The 5th Avenue Theatre, 1326 Fifth Ave, 292-ARTS. Tues-Sat at 8, Sun at 7:30, Sat-Sun matinees at 2, through April 23. $15-$67.50.

PLAYLAND

Northwest Playwrights Guild presents this evening (the first in a series) of short new works from promising scribes, directed by Robert Herzog. The schedule consists of Andy Mayo's Whiteout; Cathryn Pisarski's Cemetery Encounters; Bou Tillisch's Squattin' on Empty; Penn Goertzel's Three Dreams; Dickey Nesenger's Love's Repast; and Martin Ingerson's Welcome Anglers!. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 527-7457. Sat April 1 only, at 8. $5.

PONCHO "PICKS"

See Stranger Suggests, page 53. Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center, 443-2222. Fri-Sun March 31-April 2 only. $30 for all three shows on the same night, or $12 per show.

RETURN TO THE GARDEN OF ALLAH

A great cast tackles Ian Bell's adaptation of the history of one of the first gay-owned clubs in the country. Inspired by the recent book, Open Circle Theater's Allah re-creates the environment of the famed Seattle cabaret within the walls of Re-bar, in what promises to be a wild tribute to a colorful past. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. Thurs-Sun at 8, through April 16. $15. Reviewed this issue, page 33.

THE SALT WOUND

ArtsWest presents an American premiere of Scottish playwright Stephen Greehorn's Edinburgh Fringe Festival hit, the story of the bleak choices facing one woman in a tiny fishing village. ArtsWest Theatre, 4711 California Ave SW in the West Seattle Junction, 938-0339. Thurs-Sat at 8, select matinees at 3, through April 8. $16-$19.

THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL

Accompanied by the charismatic lead performance of creamy-voiced Douglas Sills, this never-say-die swashbuckling musical has done Broadway twice: in its original incarnation, and the reworked version that will be seen here. The composer, Frank Wildhorn, is also responsible for the Mother of All Bafflingly Resilient Mishaps, Jekyll & Hyde, and has such a complete lack of common sense that he's said to be musicalizing Blade Runner. Paramount Theatre, 911 Pine St, 292-ARTS. Tues-Sat at 8, Sun at 7:30, Sat-Sun matinees at 2, through April 2. $21-$50.

SPEED-THE-PLOW

The private, demoralized world of two Hollywood devils infiltrated by a deceptive Madonna/whore (or literally, Madonna, in its original Broadway incarnation). After Oleanna, it's perhaps the height of David Mamet's thinly veiled misogyny. This play has already hit Seattle in the last few months, but Smashing Views Productions is presenting their take on the material, featuring Mamet's excoriating and undeniably brilliant, bristling language. Book-It Theater, 1219 Westlake Ave, 227-5222. Thurs-Sat at 8, through April 15. $10.

STANDARD TIME: SONGS OF WORLD WAR II

Cabaret de Paris reprises the musical revue, highlighting timeless, haunting wartime melodies -- I'll Be Seeing You, I'll Get By, et al. -- performed by Valerie Piacenti and supplemented with reminiscences from Studs Terkel's The Good War. Crepe de Paris, Rainier Square, Fourth and Union, Second Level, 623-4111. Fri-Sat at 8 (patrons ordering dinner should arrive by 6:30), through April 8. $15.

DANCE

Le GENDRE: PERFORMANCE

See Stranger Suggests, page 53. On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. Thurs-Sun March 30-April 2, Fri-Sat April 7-8, at 8. $16-$18.

ZONE PRODUCTIONS

A fundraiser to support Zone's production of ya... know... -- an evening featuring choreography, photography, and music -- is being held Sat April 1 at Body Balancing Studio, 901 19th Ave E, at 7 pm. A six dollar suggested donation gets you food, drink, music, and dancing.

FESTIVALS, CABARETS, & COMEDY

BALD FACED LIE

Seattle's longest-running sketch comedy troupe hits prime time on stage with a new show. Some of these performers -- including the hysterical Ian Bell -- are so talented that you can even forgive the fact that they're helping Almost Live's John Keister come back to TV. Open Circle Theatre, 429 Boren Ave N, 382-4250. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, Fri March 31 through April 29. $12, pay-what-you-can performances on April 2 and April 6.

Julie Cascioppo Experience

Songs and characters you may grow to love. The Pink Door, Pike Place Market, 1919 Post Alley, 443-3241. Tues at 8:30 & 11. No cover.

RICHARD LEWIS

Still presumably clad in black and moaning about his neuroses, the ubiquitous stand-up comic hits the Emerald City with his Wreck in Progress Tour. Giggles, 53rd and Roosevelt, 526-JOKE. Fri-Sat March 31-April 1 only. Call for times, ticket prices, and reservations.

*THREE DOLLAR BILL

Seattle's original gay/lesbian/bisexual stand-up comedy night is still standing in its second year. Comedy Underground, 222 S Main St, 628-0303. Tues at 8. $6.

LATE NIGHT

THE A.M. CABARET

Amoral entertainment for insomniacs; promising naked poetry, music, strippers, and drag queens. You may think you're dreaming. Coffee Messiah, 1554 E Olive Way, 860-7377. Sat from 2-4 am. $5.

JE M'APPELLE PABLO

The second late-night comic extravaganza from Disgruntled Bit Players, who claim that this will be "a treatise, if you will." They also promise hookers and smack. Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 729-4839. Fri-Sat at 11, through April 21. $6.

Jet City Improv

Improv comedy and music based on audience suggestions. Ethnic Cultural Theater, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 781-3879. Fri-Sat at 10:30. $7, $5 with student ID.

Theater Sports

Improv comedy with a competitive edge, brought to you by Unexpected Productions. Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. Fri-Sat at 10:30, $9; Sun at 7, $5.

CALLS

EXITHEATRE

Seeking male and female actors for Curtis Eastwood's new play, Cry, Goddess, Rage, to run weekends in June with rehearsals beginning in late April. Auditions at Union Garage are April 2, 2:30-5:30, and April 4, 6:30-9:30. Call Jessica at 779-2284 for info and appointment.

MOONLIGHT THEATRE COMPANY

Seeking two male actors -- one 30+, one 40+ -- for its June production of John Patrick Shanley's Four Dogs and a Bone. Auditions on April 1. Prepare 3-5 minute contemporary monologue. Call Teri Mathews at 367-2174 for more info and an audition time.