OPENING THIS WEEK
BRAVE NEW FRINGE • Seattle Fringe Theater Festival
THE REAL INSPECTOR HOUND • ArtsWest
YEOMAN OF THE GUARD • The New Savoy Opera

ONE WEEK ONLY
I'M STILL HERE... DAMN IT! • Sandra Bernhard
TUNES FROM TALES • Seattle Men's Chorus

CLOSING THIS WEEK
DREAM OF A COMMON LANGUAGE • UW
KEROUAC • Velvet Elvis
NORTH STREET • Printer's Devil
THE SYRINGA TREE • Pamela Gien


OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS
*DINA MARTINA LIVE!--Dina Martina, Seattle's treasure (though she claims to be from Las Vegas), returns to Re-bar after a year's absence. "Dina Martina is a kind of Frankenstein of kitsch for thirtysomethings--she'd be drag even without the drag. Martina's show is packed with pop references that play to a very specific house. If you're not a Re-bar regular, or if you're not in your 30s (in other words, if you didn't spend your high school years driving around in rusty Dodge Darts listening to groups like Taco and Toto), Dina could seem much more freakish than funny" (Tonia Steed). Re-bar, 1114 Howell (at Boren), 323-0388. Fri-Sun at 8, through April 4, $10. 21 and over.

DREAM OF A COMMON LANGUAGE--Heather McDonald's play about gender, art, and destruction plays at the UW. Directed by Chazz Rose. Playhouse Theater, UW Campus, 543-4880. Tues-Sun, times vary, through March 14. $7-$8.

THE EMPRESS OF EDEN--Attempted Utopia goes wrong, in this world premiere of Barbara Lebow's play based in the 1930s. A German naturalist lays claim to Isla Maria in the Galapagos, announcing plans to create a self-sufficient paradise. However, when an Austrian baroness also lays claim to the island, mysterious deaths ensue. This is the first of Empty Space's Behnke New Works Challenge program, and is directed by Rod Ceballos (Accidental Death of an Anarchist). Empty Space Theater, 3509 Fremont N, 547-7500. Days and times vary, through March 27. $16-$25.

GRACE AND PATIENCE--Local playwright Jeff Resta (The Diva Classification System) demonstrates nontraditional family values in this tale of Eric "Grace" Kearney (Patrick Rogers), his six-year-old daughter Patience, his boyfriend "Yoz," and their struggle to stay together. Promises "campy humor, dark dreams, heroism, and magic." Annex Theater, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, through March 20. $10.

KEROUAC--Vincent Balestri's long-running one-person "jazz play" about the On the Road author, punctuated by Brian Kent's saxophone, has been leading the neo-beatnik set to Pioneer Square for over two years now. Velvet Elvis Arts Lounge, 107 Occidental Ave S, 624-8477. Thurs-Sun at 8, through March 14. $14-$18.

LATE NIGHT CATECHISM--And the nun goes on. Somebody really likes cute Catholics. This is an evening of audience participation and interactive improv theater: think Sister Windy crossed with Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All For You. First Covenant Church, 400 E Pike, 292-ARTS. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2, extended for eternity. $24.50-$29.50.

MOTEL LOVEY DOVEY--In this comedy by John Linton, a pistol-packin' poet and an all-out singer concoct a plan to turn ninety dollars into fame. Will a mysterious third character spoil their success? Seattle premiere. Rendezvous Jewel Box Theater, 2320 Second Ave, 325-7870. Fri & Sat at 9, March 19 & 20. $5. 21 & over.

*NORTH STREET--Printer's Devil presents Aaron Thomas' psychological and linguistic meltdown, North Street. Tonia Steed says, "Having deftly fashioned a group of characters from his native north (specifically Vermont), Thomas equips each of them with a gloomy wit, aimless outlook, and the sort of passion that always vents itself in noisy, sporadically articulate, aching ache. The playwright's blunt sense of this ache--and of these characters--reopens Robert Frost's familiar fire/ice question like a forgotten wound. And as funny as Thomas' dialog is, there is no way to dodge the wounded in North Street." Theater Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, 860-7163. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, through March 13. $10.

ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST--Dale Wasserman's adaptation of the Ken Kesey novel finds a well-added home with Theater of Relativity, directed by John Marengo. Belltown Theater Center, 115 Blanchard, 728-7609. Thurs-Sat at 8, through March 20. $12.

THE REAL INSPECTOR HOUND--The classic murder mystery spoof from Tom Stoppard, here directed by ArtsWest Theater Company's Paul Prappas, shares stage with the absurdist short Striptease. The Little Theater, SSCC, 6000 16th Ave SW, 938-0339. Thurs & Fri at 8, Sat at 4 & 8, through April 3. $10-$17.

THE SYRINGA TREE--Actress/writer Pamela Gien plays over two dozen characters of various ages and backgrounds in this drama-with-a-conscience set in South Africa. Directed by Larry Moss. Bullitt Cabaret, ACT, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Thurs at 7:30, Fri & Sat at 8, Sun at 2, extended through March 14. $10.


FESTIVALS, CABARETS, & COMEDY
BONANZA --Printer's Devil Theater's annual workshop series, curated by company members, features pieces in different stages of development over 12 weeks, performed as readings, staged readings, or workshop productions. Week #3 features A Complete Waste of Time, created by Piece of Meat Theater's Eric Layer. He describes it as "the perfect date play." Speakeasy Cafe Backroom, 2304 Second Ave, 860-7163. Mon & Tues at 7:30, through May 18. Donation.

BRAVE NEW FRINGE--Various small companies offering theatricality in the form of plays, circuses, readings, dance, and storytelling, all representative of non-mainstream performance. Venues in Capitol Hill Area; call for schedule: 322-0218. Through March 21.

THE HAROLD--Unexpected Productions extends performances of its freeform improv jive monologue dialogue audience-participation thing, baby. Market Theater, Post Alley, Pike Place Market. Wed at 8, extended through Mar 31. $5.

I'M STILL HERE... DAMN IT!--The woman who represents so many things well, Sandra Bernhard, out-drags drag queens in her newest monologue. The Moore Theater, 1932 Second Ave, 292-ARTS. Mon-Sat at 8, Sun at 7, through March 14. $20-$30.

JULIE CASCIOPPO EXPERIENCE--Songs and characters you may grow to love. The Pink Door, Pike Place Market, 1919 Post Alley, 443-3241. Tues at 8:30 & 11. No cover.

MIDNIGHT MYSTERY THEATER--Candlestick. Billiard room. Mrs. Peacock. Belltown Theater Center, 115 Blanchard, 728-7609. Every third Wed at 7. $6.

OH, COWARD!--A revue of songs and plays by the post-Victorian but prolifically closeted playwright Noël Coward, featuring Joel Carlton (Annie Get Your Gun), Patti Cohenour (The Phantom of the Opera), and David Pichette (Nixon's Nixon). Directed and choreographed by Stephen Terrell. Seattle Repertory Theater, Seattle Center, 443-2222. Tues-Sun at 7:30, Sat & Sun at 2, through April 4. $15-$39.

PARALLEL LIVES: THE KATHY & MO SHOW--Deli theater with a real bite, featuring cult-wannabes the Supreme Beings. Authentic New York-style deli buffet included. Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki Ave SW, 935-8420. Fri, Sat, Sun through April 11. $20.

*TEATRO ZINZANNI--An elaborate blend of European cabaret, theatrical spectacle, music, and five courses of fine cuisine courtesy of chef Monique Barbeau, all packaged in an antique European dance hall imported from Belgium for the occasion. Seattle Center, 222 Mercer St, 281-7788 ext 700 or 292-ARTS. Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 6:30, extended through May 30. $88.

THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT HUNGER--The third annual benefit for Food Lifeline, featuring comedians Sue Murphy, Dana Gould, and others. The Comedy Underground, 222 S Main St, 628-0303. Thurs at 8:30, through March 26. $6, or free with six non-perishable food items. 21 and over.

THREE DOLLAR BILL--Seattle's original Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual stand-up comedy show is still standing in its second year. Comedy Underground, 222 S Main St, 324-8025. Tues at 8:30. $6.

TUNES FROM TALES--Tales of the City novelist Armistead Maupin provides the inspiration for an evening of '70s tunes, from sources as diverse as ABBA and Stephen Sondheim. Chorus members will also create vignettes of scenes from the books. Benaroya Hall, 200 University St, 323-2992. Sat March 13 at 8, Sun March 14 at 2 & 7. $9-$26.50.

*ULALUME/WHEN LILACS LAST IN THE DOORYARD BLOOM'D--Following last year's successful private-residence poetry performances, New City Salon presents Edgar Allan Poe's Ulalume, Walt Whitman's When Lilacs Last In the Dooryard Bloom'd, Shakespeare's Sonnets 29, 116, and 129, and T. S. Eliot's Burnt Norton (from the Four Quartets), performed in multiple environments with maximum audiences of 20 people. "Although the New City's selections beg a few interesting questions (such as why three young women would opt to read four old men to us), the evening is still very worthwhile... imbued with subtle, simple pleasures: warm rooms, coffee with cream, and the vibrant sound of live voices curling and rolling over fine, fine words" (Tonia Steed). Call for location, 328-4683. Thurs-Sat at 8, extended through March 28. $12.

YEOMAN OF THE GUARD--Gilbert and Sullivan and the Tower of London, tripping off the tongues of Seattle's New Savoy Opera. Bastyr University, 14500 Juanita Dr NE, Bothell, 526-4969. Fri & Sat at 7, through March 28. $14/$12.


LATE NIGHT
JET CITY IMPROV--Improv comedy and music based on audience suggestions. Ethnic Cultural Theater, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 781-3879. Fri & Sat at 10:30.

SCREAM QUEEN--The talented Bret Fetzer brings more darkness to late night in this one-act black comedy featuring Lyssa Browne as Dotty Parker, a B-movie star who hurls herself from sexploitation to lesbian vampirism. Annex Theater, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933. Fri & Sat at 11, through March 19. $5.

SPIN THE BOTTLE--The Annex's newest late-night performance is a slumgullion of juggling, dance, singing, and silhouettes, cultivated by the finely tuned Bret Fetzer. Annex Theater, 1916 Fourth Ave, 729-0933. First Fri of every month. No reservations. $5.

THEATER ON THE SPOT--A new sketch comedy show, with audience participation, featuring the Wheel of Improv. Belltown Theater Center, 115 Blanchard St, 728-7609. Sat at 11. $6.


CALLS
FREEHOLD THEATER LAB--Applications now available for Diversity Scholarships, offering full tuition to actors of color. Deadline: May 13. Call 323-7499 for more information.

GEMINI PRODUCTIONS--Seeking 8 actors, 7 men and 1 woman, for June production of Paul Rudnick's Jeffrey. Please prepare a 3-minute comedic monologue. Call Jay Irwin for appointment, (425) 821-4783.

NINEHOLES '99--Theater Babylon will hold auditions for its fourth collection of 10-minute plays on Tues March 23 from 7-10 pm. Please call 322-2514 for an audition slot and location.

PIECE OF MEAT THEATER--Looking for 2 women, 18-30, for roles in an upcoming original play. The performance will be in May. Please call 322-7144 to set up a time.

SEATTLE REP--Now taking applications for its Professional Arts Training Program for the 1999-00 season, offering young professionals practical experience. Applications accepted through April 15; internships available in various areas. Call 443-2210 ext. 1200 for more information and an application.