OPENING THIS WEEK

1776 · Renton Civic Theatre

CLOSER THAN EVER · Planet Earth Multi-Cultural Theatre

THE HAINT · Union Garage

THE EROTIC DIVINE · Theater Babylon

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE · Book-It

RADIO GALS · Taproot Theatre Company

THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE · Seattle Repertory Theatre

STOMP · 5th Avenue Theatre

ONE WEEK ONLY

ANDREA MARCOVICCI · Paramount

KAZOO! · Consolidated Works

KATIE DUCK · Velocity Dance Studio

LINGER · Little Theatre

NIGHT AT THE OPERA · OK Hotel Ballroom

PHANTASMAGOREY! · Open Circle Theatre

SPOTLIGHT: PARADE · 5th Avenue Theatre

STRANGE SNOW · ReAct

CLOSING THIS WEEK

BETRAYAL · Theater Paradox

THE CHAIRS · Intiman Theatre

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS · Annex Theatre

EVERYTHING NOT FORBIDDEN IS PERMITTED · Annex Theatre

PLAYING DON JUAN · Freehold

ST. NICHOLAS · A Contemporary Theatre

OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

1776

Founding fathers sing! Renton Civic Theatre, 507 S Third St, Renton, 425-226-5529. Opens Fri Sept 8. Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 2; $20, $15 students/seniors. Through Oct 8.

*BETRAYAL

"[Actor Ray] Irwin most exploits the play's opportunity for stylized artifice in the characters and the chance... to eschew 'acting' (with a capital 'A') in favor of something related to acting, but less earnest, more false, and more interesting." (Stacey Levine) Theatre Paradox at the Chamber Theater, Odd Fellows Hall, Fourth Floor, 915 E Pine, 568-0631. Thurs-Sat at 8; $12, $10 students. Through Sept 9.

THE BOUFFANTS

Big wigs, pop songs. "You too might find the wigs and songs in this extended skit about three Caucasian gals in a Motown-era girl group amusing, especially if you've been curious about the films of John Waters but don't cotton to all that vomit." (Tamara Paris) Cabaret de Paris, second level of Rainier Square, 1333 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. Thurs at 8, Fri-Sat at 8:30; $16 for the show, $42 for dinner too. Through Sept 30.

THE CHAIRS

"Its best moments are the silent ones, when the design--and despite their best efforts, the actors amount to little more than design elements themselves--can be enjoyed without Ionesco's bland, pedantic words getting in the way." (Bret Fetzer) Intiman Theatre, Seattle Center, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. Call for times; $23.50-$42. Through Sept 9.

CLOSER THAN EVER

A musical revue about, uh, life. And change. Sounds pretty sweeping. Planet Earth Multi-Cultural Theatre at the Moore Theatre at the Sacred Heart Church, 9460 NE 14th St, Bellevue, 243-6773. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2; $12, $10 students/seniors. Pay-what-you-can on Thurs Sept 14. Through Sept 17.

*DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS

Fly-on-the-wall perspective on moments of excruciating celebrity tabloid squalor. "Even though the stories are less than fresh, with acting this good, it was still fun to see them played out." (Adrian Ryan) Annex Theatre, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7; $12. Through Sept 9.

THE HAINT

Troy Mink, creator of Carlotta's Late Night Wing Ding, plays 10 different characters in this theatrical ghost story. See Stranger Suggests. Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. Opens Fri Sept 8. Fri-Sun at 8; $12, $10 students/seniors/Sundays. Through Oct 1.

IN THE PENAL COLONY

New "opera theater" work from Philip Glass and JoAnne Akalaitis, based on the Kafka short story. A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Tues, Wed, Thurs, Sun at 7:30, $36; Fri-Sat at 8, $42; matinees at 2 (call for matinee dates); $27. Through Oct 1.

JULIUS CAESAR

Shakespeare's Roman tragedy; apparently, this production is based on a 1937 production directed by Orson Welles. Which means one director is interpreting another director's interpretation of the play. Earth Tribe Productions and Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike St, 324-6328. Fri-Sat at 8; $10, $8 students/seniors. Through Sept 23.

*LATE NIGHT CATECHISM

"While non-Catholics will find Sister's pathological disdain of chewing gum and broken rulers amusing, members of the faith will find it hilarious." (Adrian Ryan) A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2; $24.50-$29.50. Extended for eternity.

*LINGER

John Kaufmann returns with his acclaimed solo show about living in the moment. See Stranger Suggests. Little Theatre, 608 19th Ave E, 675-2055. Thurs-Sun at 8, Fri-Sat at 10; $7.50-$10. Through Sept 10.

LIVING WITH BETTY

"Every actor wants to do [a solo show], but hardly any have the stamina and talent to pull it off. Sadly, Living with Betty never really makes it off the ground." (Tamara Paris) Ursa Major Theater Company at the Speakeasy Backroom, 2304 Second Ave, 325-6500. Thurs-Sat at 8; $12, $8 students/seniors. Through Sept 16.

*MYSTERIAN

"After the enormously enjoyable [magic] show, we wolfed down gigantically proportioned Caesar salads in the Magicafe and then scooted into the close-up magic theater where [magician Steffan] Soule's art continued to confound us. We could not rest until we tried the wicked air-hockey and laser tag...." (Tamara Paris) Illusionz Magical Entertainment Center at 1025 NW Gilman Blvd in Issaquah, 425-427-2444. Fri-Sat at 8, Sat-Sun at 3; $10-$15. No end in sight.

PLAYING DON JUAN

Freehold presents another "laboratory investigation," this time directed by Meyerhold teacher Gennadi Bogdanov, who's quickly cultivating rabid acolytes. The production is a mix of material, taking bits of Don Juan plays by Moliere, Pushkin, Shaw, and Brecht. Freehold, 1525 10th Ave, 323-7499. Wed-Sat at 8, Sun at 7; donation. Through Sept 9.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

An adaptation of a novel by one of the finest writers in the English language, Jane Austen. Not her best, but even her worst kicks the butts of those lame-ass Brontë sisters and grinds most modern writers into the ground. See Bio Box. Book-It at On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 325-6500. Previews Thurs Sept 7; Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 2; $18, $14 students/seniors; group rates available. Through Sept 24.

RADIO GALS

Musical about an all-girl band in the 1920s called the Hazelnuts. Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. Preview Thurs Sept 7, 7:30 pm. Opens Fri Sept 8. Wed-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sat matinee at 2; $14-$24, $10 for 25 and under. No show Wed Oct 4. Through Oct 7.

THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

Lily Tomlin will flog this thing until it dies a grisly death. Which is not to say it isn't a decent piece of work, but it has jokes about Geraldine Ferraro, for chrissakes. Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center, 443-2222. Tues-Sun at 7:30, Sat-Sun matinees at 2; $18-$45. Special 2 pm matinee on Wed Oct 4.

ST. NICHOLAS

Sounds like a Christmas show, but it's actually a vampire story. Starring Laurence Ballard. A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. Wed, Thurs, Sun at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, $15. Through Sept 10.

STRANGE SNOW

Stephen Metcalf's Vietnam War drama will be read by a multiethnic cast. ReAct at Elliott Bay Book Company, First & S Main, 624-6600. Mon Sept 11, 7:30 pm; $5 suggested donation, proceeds benefit Rain City Projects.

DANCE

*KATIE DUCK

A rare performance by a noted improviser/performer from Amsterdam. Velocity Dance Theater, 915 E Pine St, Second Floor, 325-8773. Sat-Sun Oct 7-8, 8 pm; $12.

STOMP

Well, I'm not sure if this is exactly dance, but it sure is movement. Very noisy movement. "The international percussion sensation," which has appeared on TV shows ranging from Late Night with David Letterman to Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. 5th Avenue Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave, 292-ARTS. Opens Tues Sept 12. Tues-Fri at 8, Sat at 5 & 9, Sun at 3 & 7; $24.50-$39.50. Through Sept 24.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY

*HOKUM'S RAGTIME NICKELODEON REVUE

Professor Hokum W. Jeebs returns with an evening of ragtime, silent cinema, classic vaudeville, and the big sounds of the mighty 1929 WurliTzer Theatre Pipe Organ. "I felt somehow like we were fireflies raising our tiny lights into a shimmering chorus, sharing our voices before descending into the inevitable darkness." (Tamara Paris) Hokum Hall, 7904 35th Ave SW, 937-3613. Fri-Sat at 8; $12, $10 students/seniors, discounts available. Open-ended engagement.

*JULIE CASCIOPPO EXPERIENCE

"Cascioppo has confidently tossed schmaltz, a Casio keyboard, a couple of exhausted-looking wigs, naughty banter, and... songs you thought you hated into a furiously agitating blender. The cocktail concocted goes down shockingly smooth." (Tamara Paris) Pink Door, Pike Place Market, 1919 Post Alley, 443-3241. Tues at 8:30 & 11. No cover.

KAZOO!

The local sketch comedy troupe ("Ridiculing human pain and suffering since 1997") heads a benefit for the Cascade Chapter Sierra Club. Consolidated Works, 410 Terry Ave, 523-0410. Thurs Sept 7, 6:30 pm; suggested donation of $40, sponsor-level contributions of $100 or more will receive front-of-room seating.

ANDREA MARCOVICCI

The most shamelessly sentimental chanteuse working today. If this is your kind of thing, don't miss out. If it isn't, run for the hills! She's coming! SHE'S COMING! AIEEE! Paramount Ballroom, 911 Pine St, 292-ARTS. Fri Sept 8 ONLY, 8 pm; $26-$36.

*NIGHT AT THE OPERA

Another wild night of stuff from Seattle's mad scientist of off-kilter vaudeville, Curtis Taylor, featuring operatic duets, opera-themed film shorts, and live special effects, as well as stiff drinks. OK Vodvil at the OK Hotel Ballroom, 212 Alaska Way in Pioneer Square, 621-7903. Thurs Sept 7, 9 pm; $10.

PHANTASMAGOREY!

A benefit for Open Circle's upcoming production of Gorey Stories, featuring Player King, sketch comedy, a cornucopia of other performers, and a big fat raffle. Open Circle Theatre, 429 Boren Ave N, 382-4250. Sat Sept 9 ONLY; $13 at 8 pm, $6 after 9 pm.

SPOTLIGHT: PARADE

The first of the 5th Avenue's new "Spotlight Nights" series, sort of a cross between Charlie Rose and Oprah Winfrey with a little performance mixed in. The first one focuses on the creators of the upcoming musical Parade. 5th Avenue Theater, 1308 Fifth Ave, 625-1418. Thurs Sept 7, 7-8:30 pm ONLY (which means you'll still have plenty of time to go to the Home Alive benefit sponsored by motorcycle club the Cretins at the Breakroom); free, but advance reservations are suggested.

*THREE DOLLAR BILL

"Like most disreputable arts, standup now offers a more compelling product for its lack of adoration. Billed as a gay- and lesbian-oriented show, Three Dollar Bill also works as a low-cost current comedy primer." (Tom Spurgeon) Comedy Underground, 222 S Main St, 628-0303. Tues at 8; $6.

LATE NIGHT

THE EROTIC DIVINE

Extended from the Mae West Fest, this collection of short plays, monologues, and poetry attempts to distinguish between eroticism and pornography. Good luck. Theatre Babylon at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 283-3841. Opens Fri Sept 8. Fri-Sat at 11; $8. Through Sept 16.

*EVERYTHING NOT FORBIDDEN IS PERMITTED (AND VICE VERSA)

"Late-night theater at its pretty damn good, if not its best... [Anne] Washburn's bits and pieces play out so well because their humor and insight come as details of an unraveling story rather than central theses of theatrical term papers." (Brendan Kiley) Annex Theatre, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933. Fri-Sat at 11; $5 (free if you saw the prime-time show). Through Sept 8.

*JET CITY IMPROV

Improv comedy and music based on audience suggestions. "The show goes down really smoothly. One only wishes for better direction." (Tom Spurgeon) Ethnic Cultural Theater, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 781-3879. Fri-Sat at 10:30; $7, $5 with student ID.

*THEATER SPORTS

"The only improvisational show I've ever seen where the women performers were clearly better than the men--a welcome change from the overaggressive scene-stealing of many male-driven troupes." (Tom Spurgeon) Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. Fri-Sat at 10:30, $9; Sun at 7, $5.

CALLS

Civic Light Opera is holding auditions for Gilbert & Sullivan's H.M.S. Pinafore on Mon-Tues Sept 11-12. Call 363-4807 for information and appointments.

Northwest Actors Studio is holding auditions for The Blue Moon Chronicles, a gay romantic comedy. Auditions on Sat Sept 9, callbacks on Sun Sept 10. Call 324-6328 for information and appointments.

Open Circle Theater is looking for actors, singers, designers, musicians, and a production manager for their upcoming production of a musical based on the work of Edward Gorey. Call 382-4250 for information and appointments.

Pork-Filled Players is holding auditions for Dim Sum! The Musical! on Sat Sept 9. Call Roger at 221-5621 (days) or 365-1282 (evenings) or e-mail gwangung@u.washington.edu for information or appointments.

Seattle Fringe Festival has applications available for the next Fringe Fest, but they won't start accepting them until Sept 23. And since it's first come, first served, you'll want to get in there on that day, assuming you want to take part in this event to begin with. Call 526-1959 and talk to Wesley Middleton about it.

Seattle Repertory Theatre is looking for teaching artists for their School Membership Program. Paid positions; all levels of experience encouraged to apply. Send headshot/resume to: Education Dept, Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer, Seattle, WA 98109.

Seattle Repertory Theatre seeks child actor, 4-7 years old, for new play by Elizabeth Heffron to be directed by Sharon Ott. Rehearsals begin in Oct; show runs Nov 13-Dec 23. Fax or mail a resume, attn: Chris Sheilds. No phone calls please. Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, Seattle, WA 98109. Fax: 423-2225.