OPENING THIS WEEK

ARTHUR™ A LIVE ADVENTURE · Paramount Theatre

ONE WEEK ONLY

DOUBLESTUF · Annex Theatre

HEAVEN & HELL BALL · Consolidated Works

THE MILLENNIUM BASH · Hokum Hall

CLOSING THIS WEEK

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY · Speakeasy Backroom

THE HOLIDAY BIG BROADCAST · Kirkland Performance Center

JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT · Village Theatre

THE RED BALLOON · Seattle Children's Theatre

SANDERS FAMILY CHRISTMAS · Taproot Theatre

VICES OF CHRISTMAS III · Union Garage

OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS

ARTHUR™ A LIVE ADVENTURE

Tickets are already on sale for this family-friendly corporate grotesquerie. Opens Wed. Paramount Theatre, Ninth and Pine, 292-ARTS. $15-$26. Wed-Fri at 7; Sat at 11, 2:30, and 6; Sun at 2:30 and 6. Through Jan 7.

*HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

A Christmas play with guns and fire. "I thought of this play as a piece of enticing, sleek underwear beneath a few layers of rough, gawky sweaters.... Greenfield's short, layered lines demand continuous fast-paced delivery, and the actors as a group don't keep up.... Greenfield's future projects could grow into something formidably creepy. A playwright to watch." (Stacey Levine) Live Girls! at the Speakeasy Backroom, 2304 Second Ave, 568-1985. $10 suggested donation. Thurs-Sat at 8. Through Dec 30.

*HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH

The world's greatest botched-sex-change rock musical. "I seriously question the intelligence of anyone who doesn't see this show. Twice." (Adrian Ryan) Re-bar, 1114 Howell (at Boren), 323-0388 or 325-6500. $16. Thurs-Sun at 8. Through Feb 11.

IN REAL LIFE

Charlayne Woodard returns with the latest episode of her life, about her early years in New York. "I suspect Woodard made her character completely sympathetic--and unbelievable--in order to downplay the egotism of her third autobiographical monologue. If Woodard is a Pollyanna who just falls into stardom, the audience is less likely to roll their eyes and think 'megalomaniac.' I didn't buy it.... I would never argue that Woodard is not a fine actress or has not lead an interesting life. It's the integrity of her story that I question." (Adrian Ryan) Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, 443-2222. $15-$42, $10 for anyone under age 25. Tues-Sun at 7:30, Sat-Sun matinees at 2. Through Jan 7.

LATE NIGHT CATECHISM

Those ever-popular Catholic hijinks. Seattle Theatre Project at A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $24.50-$29.50. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2. Running into eternity, or at least February.

PRINCE BRAT AND THE WHIPPING BOY

It's not what you think, it's for kids. You should be ashamed of yourself. Reviewed this issue. Seattle Children's Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. $14.50-$22. Fri-Sat at 7, Sun at 2 & 5:30. (NOTE: Shows have been added for the holidays, call for details.) Through Jan 13.

THE RED BALLOON

Boy meets balloon, falls in love, must protect balloon from pin-wielding bullies. A collaboration with Scottish theater troupe Visible Fictions. Reviewed this issue. Seattle Children's Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. $14.50-$22. Fri at 7, Sat-Sun at 2 and 5:30. (No performance Sun Dec 24. NOTE: Shows have been added for the holidays, call for details.) Through Dec 30.

SANDERS FAMILY CHRISTMAS

A bluegrass gospel musical, set on the brink of the U.S. involvement in WWII. Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $17-$25. Wed-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sat at 2. Through Dec 30.

FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY

HEAVEN & HELL BALL

ConWorks concludes 2000 with a big-ass party, featuring Harvey Danger, DJ almightydolla, crooner Johnny Lonely, and fire/stilt/acro-performance by the Cabiri, as well as heaven- and hell-inspired ambiance. See Stranger Suggests. Consolidated Works, 410 Terry Ave N, 381-3218. $15. Sun Dec 31, 9 pm.

THE MILLENNIUM BASH

Hokum W. Jeebs will celebrate the New Year in every time zone, starting at midnight EST. Alcohol free, family friendly, mostly musical, absolutely silly. Hokum Hall, 7904 35th Ave SW, 937-3613. $12 general, $10 stud/seniors, $2 discount with a phone reservation, $12 for reserved table seats, no discount. Sun Dec 31.

VICES OF CHRISTMAS III

Christmas viewed through the eyes of a hedonistic Venusian newswoman, among other short plays. "An unsatisfying melange of re-hashed comedic ideas, a much-traveled fruitcake of down-with-Christmas sentiment." (Tom Spurgeon) A Theater Near You at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 726-9814. $8, pay-what-you-can on Thurs. Thurs-Sat at 8. Through Dec 30.

LATE NIGHT

DOUBLESTUF

Annex wraps up the year with a night-before-New-Year's-Eve collection of short pieces, featuring the likes of Keira McDonald (Showerhead), Tim Sanders, Richard Lefebvre, and others, as well as a mini-auction. Annex Theatre, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933. $5. Sat Dec 30, 10:30 pm.

*JET CITY IMPROV

Improv comedy and music. "The show goes down really smoothly. One only wishes for better direction." (Tom Spurgeon) Ethnic Cultural Theater, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 781-3879. $7, $5 with student ID. Fri-Sat at 10:30.

*THEATER SPORTS

"The only improvisational show I've seen where the women performers were clearly better than the men--a welcome change from the overaggressive scene-stealing of many male-driven troupes." (Tom Spurgeon) Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. Fri-Sat at 10:30, $9; Sun at 7, $5.

ELSEWHERE

THE HOLIDAY BIG BROADCAST

Arne Zaslove hearkens back to the Golden Age of Radio in this popular favorite. And they're opening the show the weekend before Christmas--is this courage? Foolhardiness? Poor planning? Only time will tell.... Kirkland Performance Center, 350 Kirkland Ave, Kirkland, 425-893-9900. $18-$24 ($75 New Year's Eve benefit performance). Thurs-Sat at 8; Sat-Sun at 2 (also on Fri Dec 22); Sun Dec 31, 8 pm. Through Dec 31.

JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT

One of those biblical musicals that were so popular in the '70s. Now the same stories are all being turned into feature-length cartoons. I can't decide which is the more appropriate format. Village Theatre, 303 Front St N, Issaquah, 425-392-2202. $22-$40. Wed-Sat at 8, occasional Sun at 7 (call for details), Sun and occasional Sat at 2. Through Dec 31.

*MYSTERIAN

"After the enormously enjoyable [magic] show, we wolfed down gigantically proportioned Caesar salads in the Magicafe and then scooted into the close-up magic theater where [magician Steffan] Soule's art continued to confound us." (Tamara Paris) Illusionz Magical Entertainment Center at 1025 NW Gilman Blvd, Issaquah, 425-427-2444. $10-$15. Fri-Sat at 8, Sat-Sun at 3. No end in sight.

CALLS

Annex Theatre seeks playwrights for Annex Hothouse 2001. For two weeks (May 12-26, 2001), Annex will host four writers who will work with directors and actors to create new pieces of theater. Call 728-8081 or e-mail hothouse@annextheatre.org for application guidelines or further information; deadline Jan 15, 2001.

Barefoot Theatre Group is holding auditions for Dario Fo's Accidental Death of an Anarchist on Wed-Thurs Jan 10-11. For information visit www.BarefootTheatreGroup.com or call 389-4977.

Cirque de Flambé seeks solo and ensemble fire acts, performers, tech crew, and fire safety crew. Will train, experience a plus. Contact 654-2922 or cirqueauditions@address.com before Mon Jan 8 (people interested in tech or production roles--including stage manager and production manager--have until Fri Jan 12 to make their interest known).

Civic Light Opera will be holding open call auditions for their production of South Pacific on Tues-Wed Jan 9-10, with callbacks on Sat Jan 13. Performances in April-May. Call 363-4807 for information or appointments. NOTE: The musicians strike at Civic Light Opera has not yet been resolved.

Encore Playhouse seeks a stage manager for Man of La Mancha, which opens on Fri Feb 2. Rehearsals have started and there is a two-week break for the holidays. Encore Playhouse is a non-equity theater company. If interested, respond A.S.A.P. to Lorraine Wagner at encorepl@aol.com.

It's Not You... It's Me is an original musical to be produced in the 2001 Fringe Festival, seeking an experienced musical director with strong piano skills. Visit www.deron.net/INYIM or call 979-3451.

Mildly Obese Bat Productions is holding auditions for Giants Have Us in Their Books by Jose Rivera, to be produced in the Fringe Festival in March. They need three men and three women who can play ages 10-35. Call Beth or Rachel at 213-0307.

Pierce County Playwright Festival seeks submissions. Mail two copies of your play in proper script format to: Dr. G. S. Relaford, 1001 S Mildred #10, Tacoma, WA 98465. Call Becca Rex at 253-779-4247 or go to geocities.com/pierceplaywrights to review new guidelines (strongly suggested) prior to submitting your script. Deadline is Wed Jan 31.

Seattle Public Theater seeks ethnic actors (two men, one woman) for The Tragedy of King Christophe. Also seeking lighting designer, propsmaster, and tech crew. Auditions by appointment only; call 328-4848 ext. 1.

Seattle Symphony and Marvin Hamlisch have extended their audition deadline to Jan 15, 2001. Send in a resume and videotape, labeled with your name, address, phone number, and type of talent to: "Marvin Hamlisch's Search for a Star" Audition Committee, P.O. Box 21906, Seattle, WA 98111-3906. There will be no live auditions with Mr. Hamlisch. For further information, call 336-6671.

Stone Soup Theatre is auditioning three men and two women for a trio of one-acts by John Guare, Harold Pinter, and Thornton Wilder. Audition on Fri Dec 29. Call 633-1833 for information or appointments.