Thursday, June 16

9:00 NBC HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME

This week's has-beens: Wang Chung, Irene Cara, and Cameo! Wow! Word UP!

10:00 VH1 STRIP SEARCH

The search for America's best male stripper continues, as the contestants compete in a choreography challenge.

Friday, June 17

8:00 TNT INTO THE WEST

Felicity (Keri Russell) teaches Indians about modern conveniences in this Wild West miniseries.

Saturday, June 18

8:00 TV LAND TOP 10 SEXIEST STARS

Move over Brad Pitt! The top sexiest guys in TV Land are Magnum, P.I.; Matt Houston; and Matlock! Rrrrrowwrrr!

Sunday, June 19

8:00 UPN VERONICA MARS

Whoopee! For those who missed out, here's the pilot episode of one of my fave series of the year!

9:00 SCIFI BOA VS. PYTHON-Movie

(2004) Two humongous snakes tire of eating humans and beat the shit out of each other.

Monday, June 20

9:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN

Chef Gordon Ramsay decides to spend the day dumping food on the contestants' heads.

9:00 USA TRIBUTE TO GEORGE LUCAS

The American Film Institute gives Lucas a lifetime achievement award-then takes it back because of Jar Jar Binks.

Tuesday, June 21

9:00 NBC I WANT TO BE A HILTON

Debut! Paris's mom runs a group of reality-show contestants through the wringer, and frankly I couldn't care less.

10:00 FX RESCUE ME

Season Premiere! Tommy (Denis Leary) gets transferred to a new station house in the return of this awesome series!

10:00 COM RENO 911!

After being fired for gross incompetence, the officers settle into humiliating new civilian jobs.

Wednesday, June 22

8:00 WB BEAUTY AND THE GEEK

The geeks are instructed to get phone numbers from beautiful strangers. HAW! Good luck, nerds!

9:00 ABC DANCING WITH THE STARS

It's baffling, but this show that teaches has-been stars to ballroom dance is weirdly entertaining!

I'm so old, I'm older than you. steve@thestranger.com