Thursday, Sept 22
8:00 NBC MUST SEE TV PREMIERESSeason Premieres! This is your stomach's cue to churn in agony over the return of
Joey,
The Apprentice, and
E.R.9:00 ABC DANCING WITH THE STARS: DANCE-OFF RESULTS!America has voted, and tonight we'll see who wins the dance-off: John O'Hurley or that talentless tart Kelly Monaco.
Friday, Sept 23
9:00 NBC THREE WISHESSeason Premiere! A manipulative show featuring Christian singer Amy Grant granting poor families three wishes. (Whatever happened to Jesus granting wishes?)
10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR GALACTICASeason Finale! The
Galactica crew discovers another battlestarâand it's filled with assholes!
Saturday, Sept 24
8:00 ABC CATCH ME IF YOU CANâMovie(2002) Leo DiCaprio stars as an identity-switching conman on the run from FBI agent/nerd Tom Hanks.
Sunday, Sept 25
9:00 ABC DESPERATE HOUSEWIVESSeason Premiere! Creepy Zach holds Susan hostage... and who's the new black neighbor?
10:00 HBO CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASMSeason Premiere! Larry David returns in the most hilarious, misanthropic show on TV!
Monday, Sept 26
8:00 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENTMichael is totally in love with his new English girlfriend... now if only something could be done about her teeth...
9:00 FOX PRISON BREAKIn danger of being transferred to another prison, Michael cranks up his escape plan.
Tuesday, Sept 27
9:00 WB SUPERNATURALThe brothers investigate some mysterious drownings in a show that doesn't suck as much as I initially feared.
9:30 NBC THE OFFICEWhen his pal Todd shows up at the office, Michael becomes more inappropriate than ever.
Wednesday, Sept 28
9:00 UPN VERONICA MARSSeason Premiere! Veronica is on the case when Wallace mysteriously tests positive for goofballs.
9:00 ABC LOSTSawyer, Michael, and Jin discover a new predator in the ocean: torpedo-launching invisible polar bears!
Let's get bipolar! steve@thestranger.com
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