This Week on Television
Thursday, October 208:00 UPN EVERYONE HATES CHRIS
The poop hits the fan when that fat bastard Fat Mike steals Chris's bike.8:00 WB SMALLVILLE
Forget Aquaman—this episode also features Buffy
's James Marsters as Brainiac!
Friday, October 218:30 FOX MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE
Hal catches Dewey smoking cigarettes, and makes him star in one of those really annoying "Truth" commercials.10:00 MTV MADONNA: SECRET
A behind-the-scenes documentary about Madonna's 2004 tour. What's the big secret? Metamucil!
Saturday, October 224:30 FOX WORLD SERIES
Can we please get this stupid series over with so we can get back to watchable
TV? THANK YOU.11:00 BRAVO INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO
This week's guest: the great actress Rosie O'Donnell. I guess the great actor Carrot Top was busy.
Sunday, October 23NOON FX PRISON BREAK MARATHON
Catch up on all six episodes of America's favorite jailbird drama.9:00 PBS MASTERPIECE THEATRE
Hot Limey Rupert Everett plays master sleuth Sherlock Holmes in "The Case of the Silk Stocking."
Monday, October 248:30 CBS HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
How does this crappy show keep ending up on everybody's "Best New Show" list? Am I nuts? (Don't answer that.)
Tuesday, October 258:00 ABC IT'S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN
After experimenting with unknown hallucinogens, Linus is found nude and screaming in the pumpkin patch.9:00 WB SUPERNATURAL
Sam and Dean go after the classic lovers' lane urban myth—the "Hook Man."
Wednesday, October 269:00 UPN VERONICA MARS
Veronica has a crap attack when a mysterious figure from her past returns.10:00 ABC INVASION
Russell attempts to catch one of the aliens that poked his bottom.Aquaman: the singing fish stick. email@example.com