Thursday, Jan 12

9:30 ABC CRUMBSDebut! Fred "Wonder Years" Savage is the gay son of nutso Jane Curtin in this probable rip-off of Arrested Development.

Friday, Jan 13

10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR GALACTICAJob one for Commanders Adama and Cain: blow away Cylons. Job two: kill each other.

Saturday, Jan 14

10:00 AMC HUSTLEDebut! A gang of con men screws its way through London in this entertaining action-comedy.

Sunday, Jan 15

8:00 FOX 24Season premiere! Jack Bauer gets called out of retirement to kick another terrorist's ass. He's getting too old for this shit!

Monday, Jan 16

8:00 NBC GOLDEN GLOBESFilm and TV are celebrated by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. "Foreign"? Shouldn't Jack Bauer be torturing these guys?

Tuesday, Jan 17

8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOLSeason premiere! Didn't God say something about worshipping false idols? So why doesn't He kill these people already??10:00 CBS LOVE MONKEYDebut! Tom "Ed" Cavanagh and Jason "90210" Priestly star in this comedy-drama about love, but strangely, no monkeys.

Wednesday, Jan 18

9:00 FOX SKATING WITH CELEBRITIESDebut! C-list celebs Todd Bridges, Debbie Gibson, and others bust their C-list asses on the ice!

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