Thursday, June 6

10:30 COM THE MAN SHOW

Adam and Jimmy set out to boost the ratings for their show with the new installment "Sock Puppet Porn."


Friday, June 7

9:00 FOX O'REILLY VS. HOLLYWOOD

Fathead gasbag Bill O'Reilly offers his skewed right-wing vision about what's wrong with the movie industry.


Saturday, June 8

6:30 ESPN2 NATIONAL SPELLING BEE

Uptight elementary school nerds wet their pants at the National Spelling Bee!


Sunday, June 9

9:00 FOX BACHELORETTES IN ALASKA

Hot 'n' horny sluts are on the hunt for big 'n' beefy man-chunks in the land of grizzlies and guns. Good luck, gals!


Monday, June 10

10:00 DSC FREAK ACCIDENTS

A show about people who are killed or wounded in hilariously weird ways--and then have the nerve to claim it wasn't their fault!


Tuesday, June 11

8:30 FOX AMERICAN IDOL

Debut! Hopefuls travel to audition for a recording contract and to be told they suck big hippo dick.


Wednesday, June 12

8:00 USA SUDDEN DEATH--Movie

(1995) Jean-Claude "Wham-Bam" Van Damme uses his martial arts skills and tight ass to protect the V.P. at a hockey game!

Trumping tragedy since 1994. steve@thestranger.com