8:00 ABC THE EDGE--Movie
(1997) Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin battle each other and a "motherfucking bear" in this unintentionally hilarious he-man epic!
8:00 UPN STARSHIP TROOPERS--Movie
Doogie Howser and a cast of hotties stomp a planet of bugs in this Paul Verhoeven classic!
8:00 NBC FALL PREVIEW SPECIAL
NBC trots out its new fall shows in an unsuccessful attempt to convince us they're not all fucking ridiculous.
9:00 DSC GLADIATRIX
Hot ancient Roman chicks battle to the death! Break out the lotion and tissue, fellers!
8:00 NBC FEAR FACTOR CHAMPIONSHIPS
Thirteen former winners of Fear Factor return to compete for 100 grand, and shove their heads into a bucket of donkey guts.
9:00 TVLAND HAPPY DAYS
Marion suspects Howard of cheating on her with a younger woman--a woman by the name of Leather Tuscadero!
All Times ALL CHANNELS THE NEVER-ENDING PARADE OF SHOWS ABOUT SEPTEMBER 11.
Turn off the TV, and go enjoy your life. Bowling might be nice.
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