8:00 NBC FRIENDS
Monica suspects that Chandler is obsessed by "shark porn"--which is gross on so many levels.
8:00 UPN THE MAN IN THE IRON MASK--Movie
(1998) Three retired musketeers set out to replace the evil King Louis XIV with his twin brother (Leonardo DiCaprio)--and they're both HOT!
8:00 UPN REAL WORLD/ROAD RULES CHALLENGE
For those without cable, here's a good opportunity to see the Road Rules kids puke.
9:00 ABC ALIAS
Daddy Jack attempts to save Sydney from her tit-shooting mom.
9:00 FOX GIRLS CLUB
Debut! David E. Kelley's new show about three hot chick lawyers who experience difficulty because they are three hot chick lawyers.
8:00 UPN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
When vengeance demon Anya pulls a particularly gruesome trick, the Scoobies stage a vengeful intervention.
9:00 ABC THE BACHELOR
A pack of truly sad women fight over a gorgeous hunky man, which makes me wonder, "Where's MY fawking TV show??"
The bathroom is down the hall to the right. E-mail steve@thestranger.com