8:00 ABC A CHARLIE BROWN THANKSGIVING
The annual Peanuts Thanksgiving pageant is ruined when Pigpen gives the Indians syphilis.
9:00 UPN STUPID BEHAVIOR CAUGHT ON TAPE
Another holier-than-thou home video show (however, that guy ripping his underpants on a fence is really funny)!
8:00 OXY CHASING AMY--Movie
(1997) Ben Affleck gets involved with a lesbian, which I think is something J.LO just isn't going to stand for.
9:00 DSC KIDS BEHIND BARS
A documentary about smart-ass punks in the slammer, and their first experiences in the laundry room.
7:00 FAM ANNIE--Movie
(1999) Little Orphan Annie sings, dances, and overthrows Daddy Warbucks in a corporate coup.
8:00 FX GROSSE POINTE BLANK--Movie
(1997) Hit man John Cusack attends his 10-year high school reunion, and after stabbing someone in the neck with a pen, realizes that things haven't changed that much.
7:00 WB THE WIZARD OF OZ--Movie
(1939) A Kansas farmgirl is rapped on the head during a tornado, gets addicted to drugs and pills, and gives birth to Liza Minnelli.
9:00 CBS MARTIN AND LEWIS--Movie
(2002) Sean Hayes (Jack from Will & Grace) plays Jerry Lewis--waitasecond... Jerry Lewis was GAY?!?
8:00 FX THE ICE STORM--Movie
(1997) Ang Lee's study of swinging '70s suburbia, which includes downed electrical lines, teenage sex, and Sigourney Weaver in a really hot pantsuit.
9:00 WB SMALLVILLE
Clark learns about a super power he never knew he had after spending the night with a hot chick in a cave. Woo-woo!
10:30 MTV THE OSBOURNES
Season Premiere! This season: Sharon gets cancer, Kelly gets famous, Jack gets laid, and Ozzy gets... well, Ozzy is just Ozzy.
8:00 FOX BERNIE MAC
When Jordan accidentally causes the family turkey to be undercooked, Bernie responds by knocking the white meat out of his head.
9:00 ABC PAUL McCARTNEY: BACK IN THE U.S.A.
God! Apparently they'll let anybody in this country! It's no freakin' wonder the terrorists have got us by the short hairs!
People who hurt horsies deserve what they get. firstname.lastname@example.org