9:00 am NBC THE MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE
Don't miss the new J.LO float (and believe me, it's gonna take at least 20 people to hold that booty down!).
8:00 FOX STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM MENACE--Movie
The first episode in the Star Wars saga, in which a young Darth Vader learns how "the force" can really impress the chicks.
8:00 NBC VERY MERRY MUPPET CHRISTMAS--Movie
(2002) Kermit and the gang get screwed over by an evil bank exec in this new TV movie starring Joan Cusack, William H. Macy... and Carson Daly?!?
8:00 FOX STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN--Movie
Cap'n Kirk gets a good ol' ass-whuppin' from Ricardo Montalban (whose pecs look AWESOME in that furry vest)!
10:00 am FOX ARCHIE'S WEIRD MYSTERIES
Archie and the gang are baffled when weird, curly hairs start growing inside their shorts.
8:00 CBS ICE WARS: USA VS. THE WORLD
It's World War III, figure-skating style!
9:00 HBO THE SOPRANOS
I only have one question: Can we please see somebody get murdered again this week? I'm addicted to the "whack"!
10:00 ABC THE PRACTICE
The firm defends an airline that refuses to carry Arabs.
8:00 FOX BOSTON PUBLIC
It's another tough day for the teachers when their students go on strike, and refuse to keep sleeping with them.
9:00 FOX 24
Just when Jack gets close to discovering the location of the nuclear bomb, President Bush decides to steal it and drop it on Iraq.
8:00 PAX WEAKEST LINK: COLLEGE CHEERLEADING EDITION
Hot coeds face off in a battle of the brains.
9:00 NBC THE WEST WING
President Bartlet notices his popularity points beginning to fall when he begins using words containing more than two syllables.
8:00 WB THE TWO TOWERS: PREVIEW
Michael Rosenbaum drools over the film's upcoming release for an hour.
Send any free samples of Ebola-eez™ to... steve@thestranger.com.
