Liberal Arts 'R' Us: steve@thestranger.com.


THURSDAY, JULY 1

9:00 USA TV Movie: Buried Alive II (1997). Ally Sheedy (The Breakfast Club) gets totally embarrassed when she's buried alive not once, but twice.

9:35 TBS The Chimp Channel: Did I happen to mention that men like monkeys?


FRIDAY, JULY 2

9:00 7 Nash Bridges: Hilarity ensues when Nash (Don Johnson) takes a bullet--right in his big fat ass!

11:00 TNT Wild, Wild West Marathon: Before you see the movie version starring Will Smith, check out the original honky version starring Robert Conrad!


SATURDAY, JULY 3

8:00 13 Movie: From Dusk Till Dawn (1996). Warning: 13 minutes have been cut from this Quentin Tarantino/George Clooney vampire yarn, and replaced with clips of kittens in a basket.

11:00 9 P.O.V.: "In My Corner." A terrific documentary about kids learning to box in the South Bronx.


SUNDAY, JULY 4

7:00 MTV The Real World: The boy roomies thank their lucky stars when the girl roomies start making out.

10:00 4 4th of Jul-Ivar's Fireworks: The annual event that celebrates what makes America great: fireworks and fish sticks.


MONDAY, JULY 5

2:00 5 Passions: Debut! A brand-new soap opera featuring scads of teen sex and Juliet Mills (Nanny and the Professor).

6:00 TNN Dukes of Hazzard Marathon!: Nine hours of redneck hillbillies jumping the General Lee and blowing up the outhouse with dynamite. Yeee-HAW!


TUESDAY, JULY 6

8:00 22 Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Mark your calendars! The previously canceled season finale episode has been rescheduled for next Tuesday, July 13!

10:00 4 NYPD Blue: Sippy and Fancy get into a fistfight in the toilet, which makes Sorenson cry like a goddamn baby.


WEDNESDAY, JULY 7

9:00 A&E Biography: Do yer homework before seeing Spike Lee's Summer of Sam by watching this documentary on Sam himself, David Berkowitz.

10:00 MTV Daria: Daria's humiliation reaches new heights when forced to work in the mall's nut shop.

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