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Thursday, July 8

8:00 5 Friends: Ross is committed to an insane asylum after someone at work eats his sandwich.

11:00 A&E Inside Story: Go inside women's boxing as Kathy "The Wildcat" Collins prepares to fight Leah "The Kitten" Mellinger.

Friday, July 9

10:30 BRV Movie: Welcome to the Dollhouse (1996). Hell is for children, especially for one unpopular dork in this butt-cringing tribute to the travails of junior high.

10:30 ESPN2 Running of the Bulls: Live from Pamplona, Spain! Idiot locals prove their manhood by getting gored by annoyed bulls!

Saturday, July 10

10:00 7 Walker, Texas Ranger: Walker goes undercover as a high school principal to kick the shit out of some drug-dealing students.

10:30 COM Strangers with Candy: Find somebody with Comedy Central and check out this hilarious parody of the old ABC after-school specials.

Sunday, July 11

8:00 MTV Tom Green: Tom spends another episode humiliating his parents and foreign people.

10:00 13 The X-Files: The Cigarette Smoking Man quits his secret government group to become the leader for the Marlboro Adventure Team.

Monday, July 12

9:00 13 Ally McBeal: Ally suspects her dresses may be too short when someone mistakes her skirt for a piece of toilet paper hanging out of her ass.

10:30 TV Land Sanford and Son: Fred experiences heart related problems when Lamont refuses to make him a sandwich.

Tuesday, July 13

8:00 22 Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Finale! Finally, the season-ending episode where Buffy and the gang graduate, kill a sixty-foot demon snake, and go to a kegger.

Wednesday, July 14

8:00 16 V.I.P.: Valerie (Pamela Anderson Lee) enlists the help of the protection agency when her prized breast implants are stolen.

10:30 COM The Man Show: There's something that I like about this show... oh, yeah! Monkeys dressed in funny outfits!

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