Thursday, July 3

10:00 SPIKE REN & STIMPY ADULT CARTOON PARTY The Chihuahua and cat duo return in all-new cartoons that have an extra helping of "dirty."

11:00 SPIKE STRIPPERELLA Pamela Anderson lends her voice to this new superhero whose powers include (I kid you not) "nipples that can cut glass."

Friday, July 4

8:00 AMC PLANET OF THE APES--Movie (1968) Charlton Heston and his big wooden teeth put the monkey smack-down on a planet of damn dirty apes!

9:00 NBC MACY'S 4TH OF JULY FIREWORKS SPECTACULAR The famous New York department store breaks a bevy of fire codes when it shoots off fireworks in its housewares department.

Saturday, July 5

7:00 FX ELECTION--Movie (1999) Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick participate in the dirtiest election ever--for student body president.

8:30 COM I'M WITH BUSEY Actor Gary Busey's greatest fan discovers the sad truth that his hero is stark raving bonkers.

Sunday, July 6

8:00 NBC CHER: THE FAREWELL TOUR Don't miss this great repeat of Cher's "farewell" concert filled with songs, film clips of earlier performances, and formaldehyde.

10:30 HBO PROJECT GREENLIGHT The poop hits the fan for the filmmaking neophytes when the producers want to make "some slight changes to the script."

Monday, July 7

9:00 NBC FOR LOVE OR MONEY Season finale! Bachelor Rob knows that one of the girls is playing for a million bucks--but she doesn't know that he knows! You know?

Tuesday, July 8

9:00 TNN GOLDFINGER--Movie (1964) James Bond takes on "the proctologist with the Midas touch."

9:00 NBC LAST COMIC STANDING Eight laff-makers compete to see who will be crowned "America's least annoying comedian."

Wednesday, July 9

9:00 TRAV WORLD POKER TOUR Six pro players go head to head in Los Angeles at the Bicycle Casino's Legends of Poker championship.

10:00 CBS CUPID American Idol's Simon Cowell dreamt up this dating show where a gal and her two catty friends tear men apart!

Did I mention nudie go-go dancing?

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