8:00 5 FRIENDS
The greatest accomplishment of Ross' life is achieved when his joke is printed in Playboy.
8:10 TBS DIE HARD -- Movie
(1988) While stopping international terrorists, Bruce Willis loses his shoes and steps on broken glass. OUCH!
10:00 5 E.R.
Dr. Green finds himself in the middle of a gay couple's relationship. Rrrowrr! Sounds sexy!
9:00 7 NOW & AGAIN
Forget the stupid name! Check out this cutie-patootie updated version of The Six Million Dollar Man!
9:00 9 ANTIQUES ROADSHOW
Old fat people bring in muskets and a letter from Thomas Jefferson. ZZZZZ! SNORE!!
9:00 TLC CRITICAL CONDITION
Debut! Life inside a Limey emergency room. Tonight: A li'l bloke gets a bleedin' nail through his knee. Cor' Blimey!
8:00 7 CITY OF ANGELS
Debut! An all-black version of E.R. created by NYPD Blue's Steven Bochco.
8:30 13 MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE
The kids are in deep poop when Mom discovers her favorite dress has been burned and flushed down the crapper.
9:00 22 JACK & JILL
Jack (the girl) and Jill (the guy) discover each other's true sexuality in the laundry room.
9:00 13 ALLY MCBEAL
This week Ally "Relationship Wrecker" McBeal sets her sights on the Biscuit.
8:00 11 I DARE YOU: THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE
Debut! Very stupid people risk life and limb on crazy stunts just because the producers of the lowest-rated network ask them to.
8:00 USA THE MARY KAY LeTOURNEAU STORY -- Movie
(2000) Girl meets boy; girl loses boy; girl goes to jail while boy goes to gym class.
9:00 ESPN MATCHUP OF THE MILLENNIUM
Special effects are used to pit the '70s Pittsburgh Steelers against the '90s Dallas Cowboys. Jesus! Why don't they save some dough and use electric football??
