Thursday, March 2

9:00 FOX SKATING WITH CELEBRITIES

Sponsored
Outdoor Performing Arts Festival featuring over 100 artists, food trucks, a beer garden and more!
Celebrate the return of the live arts in a safe, outdoor setting. Capitol Hill, Sep. 18-19.

Season Finale! Okay, washed-up celebs! This is your final chance to entertain us by busting your heads on the ice!

Friday, March 3

10:00 NBC CONVICTION

Debut! Young hot lawyers get it on in this sexified version of Law & Order.

Saturday, March 4

11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

Calling all nerds! Get a fresh pair of underpants, because Natalie Portman is the host.

Sunday, March 5

5:00 ABC THE ACADEMY AWARDS

Hosted by Jon Stewart. Right, as if you were going to be watching something else!

Monday, March 6

10:00 SPIKE PROS VS. JOES

Debut! Couch potatoes take on former sports gods to see who has the bigger beer belly.

Tuesday, March 7

10:30 MTV 8TH & OCEAN

Debut! A new reality show about hot models sitting around a house, looking hot.

Wednesday, March 8

8:00 UPN AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

Season Premiere! Tyra is back with a new pack of cat-fightin' bitches! Meee-OW!

10:00 BRAVO PROJECT RUNWAY

Support The Stranger

Season Finale! Heidi Klum declares a winner and says "Auf wiedersehen" to the losers!

Honk, honk, HONKY! steve@thestranger.com

Sponsored