Thursday, April 6

8:00 5 FRIENDS

The gang plans a forced intervention on Rachel when they learn of her addiction to Pottery Barn.

10:00 TNT FACES OF EVIL

Malcolm McDowell hosts this charming documentary on serial killers.


Friday, April 7

9:00 10 TEEN FILES: THE TRUTH ABOUT DRUGS

Kids get the shit scared out of them by host Leeza Gibbons in this anti-drug documentary by the makers of Scared Straight!

9:30 4 MAKING THE BAND

In this episode, Tommy runs to his trailer in tears when he discovers J. J. gets more fan mail than him.


Saturday, April 8

8:00 FSN THE HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS

The NABC College All-Stars learn how the game of basketball is really played when the Harlem Globetrotters chase them around the court with a bucket of confetti.

11:00 BRV THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST -- Movie

(1988) On the eve of his crucifixion, Jesus goes out for one last night of beer-drinking and whore-chasing with his best friend, Booger.


Sunday, April 9

8:00 13 THE SIMPSONS

Homer and the town rally around Barney when he makes the unfortunate choice to stop boozing.

8:00 TNT DON QUIXOTE -- Movie

(2000) 3rd Rock's John Lithgow and Bob Hoskins star in Cervantes' classic tale of a traveling schizophrenic and his pal with a donkey.


Monday, April 10

9:00 13 ALLY McBEAL

Billy's reappearance shocks the firm... and me, too! That asshole's supposed to be DEAD!

10:00 COM STRANGERS WITH CANDY

In this episode, Jerri, the 47-year-old ex-crackhead prostitute, tries out for the cheerleading squad and learns to read.


Tuesday, April 11

10:00 4 NYPD BLUE

Sorenson (li'l Ricky Schroeder) decides to cure his mental illness by hopping in the sack with his girlfriend who has (I'm sorry, but it's true...) REALLY BIG BREASTS!!


Wednesday, April 12

9:00 LIF MOTHER, MAY I SLEEP WITH DANGER? -- Movie

(1996) This classic stars Tori Spelling, and is the winner of my "Best TV Movie Title" award of 1996!