8:00 5 FRIENDS
You know it's sweeps week when Bruce Willis joins the cast and rubs his nasty old groin all over Rachel.
8:00 13 GHOSTS: CAUGHT ON TAPE
You'll laugh yourself to death with these hilarious clips of actual ghosts caught in embarrassing situations!
8:00 11 WWF'S GREATEST HITS, TOO
Catch up on all the greatest wrestling moments of the past year with the Rock, Chyna, Triple H, and the unforgettable Mr. Ass!
9:30 TCM NANCY DREW AND THE HIDDEN STAIRCASE -- Movie
(1939) Yet another book that's better than stoopid Sister Ya-Ya!
8:00 SV BORN LOSERS -- Movie
(1967) Hippie/karate expert Billy Jack foregoes peace, love, and understanding to kick some biker ass.
8:00 11 TOTAL RECALL -- Movie
(1990) Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a brainwashed super-spy on his way to Mars in this Paul Verhoeven sci-fi classic!
8:00 4 ARABIAN NIGHTS -- Miniseries
Sultaness Scheherazade tells six stories to save herself, including the one about the rabbi, a priest, and an elephant with gonorrhea.
9:00 7 TAKE ME HOME: THE JOHN DENVER STORY -- Movie
(2000) And you know that "Colorado, Rocky Mountain High" song? That's really about POT!!
8:00 4 WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?
David Duchovny, Drew Carey, and Kathie Lee Gifford join Reege for "Celebrities Sure Are Stupid" week!
9:00 13 ALLY McBEAL
Ally gets upset because she's turning 30. Oh, boo-hoo-hoo! Maybe you'll feel better if you eat some cake, Skinny McAss!
8:00 22 BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Sexy werewolf Oz returns to Sunnydale to proclaim his love for Willow. (Sorry, pal! She up and turned lesbian on ya!)
8:00 13 PARTY OF FIVE
The last ever, final episode! And yes, I thought it went off the air years ago, too.
