8:00 5 FRIENDS
Rachel gives Bruce Willis the heave-ho when she realizes he is old, ugly, and quite possibly, insane.
8:00 13 POWERS OF THE PARANORMAL: LIVE ON STAGE
Real psychics attempt to read your mind on TV! Hey! Let's think about masturbating!
10:00 5 E.R.
It's Nurse Hathaway's last episode! Hey Julianne! Don't let the door smack your ass on the way out!
8:00 4 ROMY AND MICHELE'S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION -- Movie
(1997) Friends' Lisa Kudrow and Mira "Paul's daughter" Sorvino star in this hilarious homage to high school cliques!
9:00 7 MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT
So if it's a pageant for the entire universe, how come you never see Miss Uranus? Waitasecond... Miss Uranus? That's dirty!!
10:00 7 WALKER, TEXAS RANGER
Geriatric karate star Chuck Norris gets his wrinkled old ass eaten off by a grizzly bear.
8:00 5 SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S 25TH ANNIVERSARY
Featuring the very best skits of the last 25 years (which should take just about 25 minutes).
9:00 7 JESUS -- Movie
(2000) A modest carpenter pretends to be the messiah to get some booty, and... things go a wee bit awry.
8:00 5 ARISTA RECORDS 25TH ANNIVERSARY
Including performances by Whitney Houston, Sarah McLachlan, Kenny G, and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
9:00 13 ALLY McBEAL
Ally continues to be haunted by the ghost of Billy, who is just about as exciting as an Arista Records concert.
8:00 22 BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Willow and Tara continue to explore their hot lesbo-riffic relationship, while Buffy and Riley continue to practice plain ol' boring straight sex. Booooo!!
8:00 13 BEVERLY HILLS, 90210
Series finale! The gang says their final good-byes when Dylan's hair implants decide to move to New York.
