Thursday, June 8

9:00 FOX GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS

This week: Bearded ladies, Komodo dragons, and some dork who lifts bricks with his ear.

9:00 MTV 2000 MTV MOVIE AWARDS

Television's most smart-assy movie awards ceremony, featuring hotsy-totsy Sarah Jessica Parker (Square Pegs).


Friday, June 9

9:00 MTV REAL WORLD/ROAD RULES CASTING SPECIAL

How the new casts of Real World and Road Rules figured out whose baloney you have to suck to get on those shows.

9:30 ABC MAKING THE BAND

The cruel and delicious boys of O-Town celebrate when one of the members gets kicked out the band.


Saturday, June 10

9:00 UPN I DARE YOU!

A motorcyclist accepts the double-dog-dare to race through a tunnel of fire.


Sunday, June 11

8:00 VH1 C'MON GET HAPPY: THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY STORY--Movie

(1999) More whining and moping from child stars who don't know how to deal with a little fame. Sissies!

9:00 TBS TOP GUN--Movie

(1986) Tom Cruise stars in this homoerotic classic from the Reagan era. USA! USA! USA!


Monday, June 12

9:00 CBS EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND

Ray bumps heads with a comic-book store owner played by chronic masturbator, Paul Reubens (Pee-wee Herman).

9:00 E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY

Get in the homosexual mood for Gay Pride week with the true story of the Village People.


Tuesday, June 13

8:00 WB BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Buffy battles "The Gentlemen" in the creepiest episode of the year!

8:00 TNT SHAFT--Movie

(1971) That Shaft is a bad mother--Shut your mouth! I'm just talkin' about Shaft. Then we can dig it.

10:00 MTV REAL WORLD: NEW ORLEANS

Season Debut! Seven more strangers are chosen to ruin each other's lives... this time in New Orleans!


Wed., June 14

8:00 CBS SURVIVOR

The island castaways find themselves so starved for food they eat Piggy (the fat kid).