Thursday, August 10

10:00 SCI GARTH MARENGHI'S DARKPLACE

Two back-to-back episodes of this hilarious, intentionally awful creep-show cheese-fest!

Saturday, August 12

8:00 MTV LAGUNA BEACH MARATHON

Kristin, LC, and Jason give shallowness a good name in this marathon of Laguna Beach episodes!

Sunday, August 13

10:00 TOON THE VENTURE BROTHERS

The Phantom Limb and Dr. Girlfriend go on a double date with The Monarch and a girl he met on the internet. Let's just leave it at that.

Monday, August 14

8:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN

Season finale! Chef Ramsay finally decides which "fucking donkey" will get his own restaurant.

Tuesday, August 15

10:00 VH1 THE FLAVOR OF LOVE

Flav takes three of the women on a "group date" and something really icky ensues.

Wednesday, August 16

8:00 ABC AMERICA'S GOT TALENT

The final contestants perform. (Hold on, Hoff! You only have to stay sober for one more episode!)

Make a date with... EEEEVIL! steve@thestranger.com