Thursday, May 31

8:00 FOX A TRIBUTE TO BARBRA STREISAND

Babs gets a lifetime achievement award for her work in film, music, and marrying James Brolin.

10:00 FX WHEN GOOD PETS GO BAD

Hilarious footage of poodles, ferrets, and hamsters biting their masters in the ass!


Friday, June 1

8:00 TNT L.A. CONFIDENTIAL--Movie

(1997) Kevin Spacey and Russell Crowe shoot 'em up in 1950s Los Angeles in this adaptation of the James Ellroy book.

8:00 TBS HOUSE PARTY--Movie

(1990) Rappers Kid 'N Play get jiggy with it at the biggest pajama jammy-jam EVER!


Saturday, June 2

9:00 TLC STREET HYPNOTIST

Hypnotist Paul McKenna hypnotizes unsuspecting people on the street and gets them to empty out their ATMs.

9:00 FOOD IRON CHEF N.Y. BATTLE

The Iron Chef once again takes on the original ugly American cook, that asshole Bobby Flay!


Sunday, June 3

9:00 CBS THE TONY AWARDS

Broadway spends the evening celebrating another year of shitty plays and musicals.

9:00 TLC WORLD'S WEIRDEST PERFORMERS

An in-depth look at contortionists, worm-eaters, and men who hang cement blocks from their dangly bits.


Monday, June 4

8:00 AMC THE MUSIC MAN--Musical

(1962) The greatest goddam musical EVER, starring Robert Preston, Opie from The Andy Griffith Show, and the mom from The Partridge Family.

9:00 WB ANGEL

In this unintentionally hee-larious episode, Angel shows he is "down" with a bunch of hiphop street kids!


Tuesday, June 5

8:00 WB I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER--Movie

(1997) A braless Jennifer Love Hewitt is on the run from the murderous guy from the Gorton's Fish Sticks commercial.

9:00 TNT WITCHBLADE--Movie

(2000) A hottie NYPD cop dons armor and a sword to beat up baddies! Dungeons & Dragons nerds rejoice!


Wednesday, June 6

8:00 WB DAWSON'S CREEK

Dawson becomes rightly concerned when someone tells him his head looks like a boiled yam.