9:00 7 Diagnosis: Murder: Dr. Dick Van Dyke is forced to enlist the aid of his bumbling assistant Chachi, when his prostate is stolen.FRIDAY, MAY 78:00 Guinness World Records: Tonight's show features a world-champion worm eater, a man who rides the world's tiniest unicycle, and other guys who really know how to impress the chicks.
9:00 4 Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Things could be better for Sabrina, who's scheduled to be burned at the stake... two days before the new galleria opens!SATURDAY, MAY 89:00 5 The Pretender: In this special cross-over episode, The Pretender gets confused and accidentally shows up on the show that usually follows his, The Profiler.
SUNDAY, MAY 9
8:00 7 Touched on the Swimsuit Area by an Angel: The greatest fighter of all time, Muhammad Ali, guest-stars. Jeez, first Parkinson's--now this.
9:00 5 TV Movie: The Hunt for the Unicorn Killer (1999). Kevin Anderson stars as a stupid fawking hippie murderer who somehow evades the police. Hey coppers! Try the head shop!MONDAY, MAY 108:00 13 Melrose Place: Only three more episodes left 'til the season finale, in which all the ex-cast members return as blood-thirsty, unemployed zombies.
9:00 13 Ally McBeal: Georgia's torture of Billy continues, as Ling teaches her how to dress "sexy" (i.e. Olivia Newton John at the end of Grease).TUESDAY, MAY 119:30 11 Clueless: It's prom night, which means the cast of Moesha will drop by Clueless to get drunk on wine coolers, and try to find a hotel where wearing a baby-blue tux won't seem suspicious.
10:00 4 NYPD Blue: Sippy's wife begins to have doubts about their marriage after she realizes that he's really not all that attractive.WEDNESDAY, MAY 129:00 13 Party of Five: Julia's writing teacher (Olivia D'Abo) leaves town, which means no more lesbian smooching. (Boooo!)