Thursday, January 17

8:30 FOX THE TICK

Like this show starring Puddy from Seinfeld? Well kiss his ass goodbye, cuz it's CANCELED.

10:00 COM SOUTH PARK

Red faces and tears ensue when the South Park dodge ball team heads to the national championship!


Friday, January 18

8:00 NBC ROOTS: CELEBRATING 25 YEARS

LeVar Burton hosts this anniversary retrospective on the most popular miniseries ever.

9:00 CBS FIRST MONDAY

Debut! Kind of like West Wing, except it's about a bunch of judges on the Supreme Court with big gavels stuck up their asses.


Saturday, January 19

8:00 ABC MARY POPPINS--Movie

(1964) An English nanny uses the occult (and animated dancing penguins) to keep two smartass limey brats in line.

8:00 NBC ANACONDA--Movie

(1997) Jennifer Lopez discovers that her anaconda don't... want... none unless it's got buns, hon!


Sunday, January 20

8:00 WB THE JAMIE KENNEDY EXPERIMENT

Comedian Jamie Kennedy rehashes this pretty funny version of Candid Camera. This week: Jamie poses as a temp worker whose job is to fire the rest of the employees.

9:00 ABC ALIAS

Quentin Tarantino (remember him?) guest-stars as a disgruntled former agent who leads a group of mercenaries in a revolt against SD-6!


Monday, January 21

8:00 DSC MORTUARY SCHOOL

Looking for a new career? Learn how to embalm, cremate, and beautify the dead in this educational documentary.


Tuesday, January 22

9:00 WB SMALLVILLE

Clark tries to stop a dieting classmate who turns ravenous and starts eating everything in sight!

9:00 TNN THE DOORS--Movie

(1991) Val Kilmer plays drugged-out poet Jim Morrison, Meg Ryan plays the hippie "bauble."


Wednesday, January 23

9:00 WB GLORY DAYS

In this creepy teen show from Kevin Williamson (Scream, Dawson's Crack), the kids flip out when their music teacher is killed by a prodigy--who happens to be possessed by the devil!